So, check it.
I was recently dating this girl (whom I shall refer to as “Bambi” for the sake of keeping this blog post as seedy as possible).
One day, while we were chilling, out of freaking nowhere, she asked if she could essentially go into business together. She needed a place to stay, and she knows I’m a landlord, so in her whimsical little mind, she thought the maths made sense.
Gosh, whoever came up with the term “bitches me crazay” may have been onto something very real.
So while we’re not together anymore, Bambi and I did manage to reach that healthy point in our relationship where we were comfortable with one another. What did that look like? Well, applying eye-liner and fake eyelashes became less frequent, that’s for sure. She even felt comfortable enough to unclip her hair-extensions from her scalp and toss them onto the floor like cigarette butts before nodding off to sleep. That was rather sexy.
That said, we weren’t “exclusively dating”, but I think we had an unspoken rule where we weren’t meant to ‘mess around’. I think we were successful. But who can ever be sure about these things?
While I’m dating, or “courting” (if you’re 90yrs old), I try to avoid discussing my involvement with property. Reason being is dead simple: outside of the confinement of this blog, I find the topic mundane and pointless, because we could be undressing one another with our teeth and boning instead. Only joking. I meant “making-love”
For whatever reason, I briefly mentioned to Bambi that I had a few BTL properties at the beginning of our short-lived relationship. I can’t remember why the issue cropped up in conversation, but for some reason it did.
A few months down the line from the conversation, we were still enjoying one another’s company; I liked her, and she liked me a little more. It was a good deal.
As Bambi’s life started to develop and fall victim to the reality that is change, she suddenly found herself in a position where she would shortly require a property to rent. She was currently residing with her parents, but they were due to sell-up and ship out of the country.
We both know where this is going, right?
Yup, she did it alright. She actually hit me with the inevitable questions 1) do you currently have any vacant properties? 2) If so, could I rent a room?
Awkward. Very awkward. Suddenly my erection had the stability of a freshly baked cinnamon pretzel.
Boning Making-love was officially off the table.
I don’t even permit the sharing of my toothbrush, so allowing Bambi to rent a room from me was out of the question. I’m surprised I didn’t have a nose bleed when she asked the question. I definitely felt dizzy and light-headed at the time.
It’s nothing personal, but as a landlord, I choose not to rent out to friends, family or lovers! Especially lovers.
I personally think it’s a no-brainer, and you’d be mad as a box of frogs to do it. However, I know many landlords that do. It’s just something I can’t afford to do; not financially, but emotionally. Well, maybe also financially.
Who’s to say that she wouldn’t just turn around one day and hold the love-making ransom if I didn’t give her a discount? What happens if our relationship turns into a shower of shit (which it eventually did)?
The fact of the matter is, I didn’t want to give her any leverage, because at the end of the day, I know what I am. A warm blooded male.
My response to Bambi was, of course:
I don’t mix business with pleasure, sorry babez
It was a light hearted conversation, but she was dead serious about renting from me. I could see it in her eyes.
She persistently kept nudging me, saying, “Goooo on”, while rubbing her chapped nipples with ice-cubes (I may have fabricated the latter). Perhaps the story would have ended a little differently if she did do that. I wonder.
Ahh the joys of a healthy relationship.
I know what you’re all wondering, did she still put out?
So that’s my little story.
There’s no real point or moral, just the mutters of a sexually active landlord that refuses to mix business with pleasure.
Just wondering, as a landlord, would you let your property to a friend, family member or lover? Anyone have any positive/negative experience in this particular area?
I’m going to part with some words of wisdom: Wrap it up, before you smack it up.
Disclaimer: I'm just a landlord blogger; I'm 100% not qualified to give legal or financial advice. I'm a doofus. Any information I share is my unqualified opinion, and should never be construed as professional legal or financial advice. You should definitely get advice from a qualified professional for any legal or financial matters. For more information, please read my full disclaimer.