Landlord Products / Services
Page contents:
- Who are you?
- What’s this site all about?
- Why are you always bitching?
- It’s a pity you can’t provide advice without the foul language
- Why property?
- I want to be a landlord, where the hell do I start?
- Are you rich?
- I emailed you, you never replied- WHY would you do that?
- I’ve heard rumours of your beauty, is it true?
- What if there’s a property crash?
- What’s so special about this website?
- You’ve made spelling mistakes
- Favourite quote
- What I want from you
- Buy me Coffee
Welcome to my personal landlord blog. Yes, this is a one-man show. If that.
Who are you?
I’m a 20-something 30-something year old landlord that enjoys sharing his morbid thoughts and real-life landlording experiences.
I go by the alias “The Landlord”
If you wish to connect with me, you can do so by following me on Twitter and/or Facebook. Alternatively, feel free to email me directly via my contact page.
What’s this site all about?
At a young’ish age, while all my peers excelled in alcohol consumption and computer games, I had taken the unlikely interest in financial growth, particularly property investment.
Despite how it may sound, yes, I did have friends, and I wasn’t bullied.
Wanting to pursue my interest, yet disabled by the fear of having absolutely no experience, I was in a dilemma. I knew I admired the idea of investing in property and securing my future, but I had no idea how to achieve it. I literally didn’t have a clue.
Sarah Beeny did what she could, but there was only so much I could learn from Property Ladder and the reruns.
After a few years of umming and ahhing and bitterly watching others succeed, I eventually decided to take my ass off the side-lines and enter the game.
I mentally prepared myself to invest my life-savings into a buy-to-let property and become a landlord. “The Landlord”, if you will.
The point of this website was to document my every step, so people (particularly bored people) could read about my transition from clueless-property-idiot to a less-clueless-landlord. I completed the task on the 2nd of March 2007. Boy, time surely has flown by.
Moral of the story? Any chump can do it. Yes, YOU can be that chump, you just need to believe.
Ever since completing my task I’ve been making regular updates to my blog, mostly sharing my trials and tribulations as a landlord.
I still have plenty to learn and I regularly make mistakes, and this is the place where I share it all, so others can learn and share their own experiences.
Why are you always bitching?
If you’ve already spent a few minutes flicking through a few of my blog entries, you may have formed an opinion of me. Possibly a negative one.
Apparently I swear too much, make unnecessary sexual references, and consequently come across as unreasonable. Everything but the latter is true, the other stuff is down to my own brand of humour.
I don’t bitch a lot in life, but what I will say is that I often (but not always) turn to blogging when I need to vent, so that’s why there is no shortage of hissy-fits, and why I may come across as more psychotic, bitter and twisted than I actually am. I guess blogging is my therapy.
I’m not a bitter person. I love being a Landlord and I’m a pretty laid back individual. People incorrectly assume I’m a miserable sack-of-shit that just complains all day. Not true! Not true.
All I can say is that I try to help people when and where I can, whether they’re a landlord, tenant, greasy letting agent or anyone with an interest in what I do. I genuinely want good people to succeed in life, and if I can assist in that, then amazing!
It’s a pity you can’t provide advice without the foul language (’cause your advice is good)!
You can fuck right off, you uppity douchebag.
No, no, no. Come back *hugz*
When I write/blog, I try my best to articulate my thoughts as accurately as possible without applying social filters, otherwise what’s the point in blogging, right? I pride myself on NOT being a dribbling drone.
In my free-spirited mind, I swear in healthy portions, so the conversions in my head are rather more chaotic before they get processed, and those are the moments I capture on paper. It’s those emotions that feel more real and human. I find that people are able to relate better to those moments of initial chaos because they’re raw.
But in reality, while dealing with situations in the real world, I apply my social filters, and believe it or not – once the filters are chugging away and operational – you’ll probably want to hug me… and caress me… all day, all night. For example, rarely do I swear in my everyday conversations, in fact, I usually find it unnecessary and disrespectful (depending on who/what I’m talking to). Needless to say, I wouldn’t say a lot of the things I do on here in real life.
Essentially, you need to take this place for what it is, and not for what it isn’t. This isn’t a tabloid newspaper or an editorial magazine for landlords; there are plenty of those out there, which do a spectacularly fine and boring job, but this ain’t one of ’em. This is a personal blog; not just mine, but for anyone that wants to comment/network in this capacity.
My main objective is to help others through my own experiences, and the only way I know how to do that is by sharing my real thoughts/feelings, which includes every little morbid niggle of mine.
I know my “tone” isn’t everyone’s cup-of-tea, I’m an acquired taste, which I understand and appreciate. But despite that, I genuinely want everyone to stick around and help the community prosper.
But yeah, it is a tragic pity I can’t blog without swearing my tits off. Agreed.
Why property?
I know many disagree, but I believe property is one of the most reliable and secure means of investing. It’s a relatively low risk investment strategy with high rewards (if you do it right).
I heard somewhere (God knows where) that 20% of the UK rich list made their wealth via Property Investment. I like the sound of that (even if it’s not true)!
I want to be a landlord, where the hell do I start?
Right over there -> my free guide for new and first-time landlords.
Enjoy.
Are you rich?
No, not even close.
Give me some money.
Seriously.
I emailed you, you never replied- WHY would you do that?
I genuinely try to reply to every email which requires a response, even the abusive ones. However, if I ignored your email you don’t receive a response (assuming it’s angling for a response) it’s probably because of at least one of the following reasons:
- Ignored my disclaimer(s) – this is the disclaimer directly above my contact form – it’s prominent and in plain view:
It’s especially baffling when I receive emails in the form of essays requesting assistance, which clearly took a long time to compile, with total disregard to my disclaimer. Not even a simple, “Hey, I know you said you don’t offer one-on-one support, but…”
Either way, I’m probably doing you a favour by not replying because guidance from me would be a tragic case of the blind leading the blind.
In 99.9% of cases, you’re better off doing the following if you require advice:
- Contacting LegalforLandlords – they provide free legal advice to landlords with problem tenants.
- Contacting your Local Citizens Advice Bureau – they can assist with a wide range of legal issues.
- Search through my blog posts and leave a comment on a relevant blog post which covers the issue you need assistance with.
- Take my initial advice (which you rudely ignored): get your ass over to the landlord/tenant forum.
- Lack of manners – the amount of emails I receive whereby people don’t even comply with basic manners is pretty damn scary. For example, if you email me asking for advice/help (yes, which goes against my point above, but like I said, people email me regardless), then at least say “hi”, “please”, and/or “thank you” (whichever is relevant).
I’m not asking for much, just manners. It’s free. It’s nice. Embrace it.
Personally, I wouldn’t have the balls to ask someone for help without being polite about it. If you do, you’re someone I have no interest in communicating with. Asshole.
- You’re a ditherer – I don’t have time to flirt (unless you’re exceptionally hot and/or big breasted), so if you don’t get to the point in your email I’m not going to waste time prying it out of you.
For example, if you’re going to email me with, “I have something that may be of interest to you and your readers, may I recommend a service?” (or something to that effect) without actually telling me what/where in that very same email, then I’m not interested.
Another classic, which I often receive is, “I have a business proposition for you, please call me on 020 XXXX XXX”
No.
If you’re trying to sell to me, then don’t make me work for information/details. You should provide all the necessary details, and if I like what I hear I’ll get in touch.
- Too lazy to do research on a topic I’ve addressed – you’re asking a question which I have already tackled in a blog post, so get off your lazy ass and spend at least 10-15mins going through the relative categories and/or use the search function. If you’re too lazy to do that, then excuse me for being too lazy to respond to you.
- Too lazy to research what this website is about – if you don’t already know, let me explain- this is a personal landlord blog– it’s literally covered in the first sentence of this “about” page.
I am one beautiful person; this is my online blog; I wrote every blog post on here with my blood, sweat and tears.
I’m annoyed because you didn’t bother to do any kind of research on the person/website you’re contacting – not even the bare minimum (i.e. reading the “about” page)- and that’s why you sent me an email which says along the lines of, “please can you put me in touch with the marketing department?”
There is no marketing department, dipshit. Again, this a personal blog, I’m not freaking Bill Zuckerberg over here, running an enterprise.
If you’re too lazy to spend a couple of minutes reading the “about” page before approaching me with a proposition, then I don’t want to deal with you, because the odds are you’re too
sillyincompetent to offer me anything remotely appealing, but more importantly, you’d probably drive me bonkers. - CAPS LOCKS – for some ridiculous reason you emailed me with the CAPS LOCK on. YOU’RE DEAD TO ME!
- You sent me useless marketing material – No, I’m not going to publish/share your shitty generic marketing material, which you blasted out to every mug on your emailing list. In fact, take me off your emailing list (I almost certainly didn’t subscribe to it in the first place).
- You think I’m a letting agent – you emailed me asking me if I know of any vacant properties for you and/or your family. I don’t. I’m not a letting agent. It’s silly that you think I am. You’re silly. Very silly.
- Your website is awful – you have a website and you want me to promote it, but your website is terrible (at least I think it is) or at least, inadequate enough for me to stay clear.
- You want my feedback – oddly, I receive emails from budding entrepreneurs wanting my critique on their flashy new property/landlord related product or service.
Unfortunately, I’m not a free consultant up for hire. And even if I was, I’d probably be a terrible one.
Sorry, but I don’t have the resources to provide critical feedback of your service/product. I’m sure it’s great the way you made it.
Out of curiosity, do you provide free consulting services?
Harsh, but fair, right? Good.
If you don’t fall under any of the above and I still failed to reply- oops, my bad, hit me up again. I’d love to hear from you :)
I’ve heard rumours of your beauty. Is it true?
Yes.
What if there’s a property crash? There is going to be one, ya’ know?
I know. I’m actually expecting a couple of crashes during my life-time of investing.
That’s fine with me, because I don’t plan on making a quick exit; I’m here for the long haul. I’m using property as a means to secure my future, not my today.
Property crashes usually slice through short-term investors like a knife does with hot butter.
If you can be bothered, you can read more about My Property Investment Strategy.
What’s so special about your site compared to other property/landlord sites?
Absolutely nothing at all, to be honest.
But comparing my website to other popular landlord ones’ is like comparing apples to donkeys. I don’t think anyone else is actually doing what I do, everyone else seems to be sticking to the traditional news and editorial format (which is cool, if you like that kind of thing).
I suppose, the only real USP I have is that I document my “real story” and thoughts.
You’ve made a few spelling mistakes, are you stupid?
Fuck you.
A lot.
Fucker.
Only joking.
I’m not a published author or a self-proclaimed journalist. This is my “personal blog” where I jot down my inner-thoughts, mostly during haste, so grammatical mistakes are plentiful.
If you find it truly unbearable (which I know it is for some people, because I have the emails to prove it), to the point where you physically cannot deal with the massacre, then I can only apologise. I want to make you feel comfortable during your visit, and I’ll do what I can to assist.
How about we help each other?
Above all, I want to create content that will help people progress in life, whether it be professionally or on a personal level. I imagine that’s accomplished most effectively when sentences make sense. So if you spot any mistakes, whether it’s a misuse of a comma or an incorrectly spelt word, drop me an email, and I’ll attend to the tragedy immediately.
Hopefully, together, we can tidy this place up so it’s a show-piece of grammatical perfection. That would be amazing. I’m excited.
What’s your favourite quote?
I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
– Blaise Pascal
It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.
– Seneca
A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
– Mohammed Ali
If voting made a difference, they wouldn’t let us do it.
– Mark Twain
This question/answer has nothing to do with anything, and no one even asked me the question, but I wanted to jot them down somewhere as a reminder.
I have an awesome new product for landlords, will you review it?
Probably not.
History dictates that it will be total junk, so I’d rather review almost anything else.
What do you want from me (YOU, the readers)?
Friendly interaction, whether that entails seeking advice and/or helping the fellow man.
Okay, that’s a wrap.
That’s all for now, kids. If you would like to know anything else, drop me an email!
If you want to be notified about all my future posts, then sign up to my free newsletter!
Buy me Coffee
I didn’t really want me to do this, but I’m doing it anyways. I’m shameless, I know.
Over the years I’ve frequently had people ask me how they can show their gratitude for putting this resource together, and ultimately helping in some capacity along their journey. The truth is, the fact that I’m being asked the question is enough gratitude alone. And it still is. Always will be.
However, if for whatever reason you wish to take it one step further, then feel free to support my addiction (which directly helps me with evolving my blog) by clicking on the button below…
Every ounce of support I receive – through caffeine or elsewhere – is always massively appreciated and humbling! So thank you.
It’s been emotional. I love you.
The Landlord.
Disclaimer: I'm just a landlord blogger; I'm 100% not qualified to give legal or financial advice. I'm a doofus. Any information I share is my unqualified opinion, and should never be construed as professional legal or financial advice. You should definitely get advice from a qualified professional for any legal or financial matters. For more information, please read my full disclaimer.
I vacated a flat on Feb 1 2010. The landlord, thorugh the rental agency, claim of £720 was made on my desposit of £1800. A few of the items were legit (faulty extrctor bulb, the Inventory check-out cost, bringing cleaning up to a 'pro standard', etc..) and I conceded these quickly and reasonably. However, some of the claims were illegitimate and clearly a try on. I objected to these robustly but always with reference to the facts and what could reasonably established.
The other side did not play by the rules of good practice. The Property Negotiator on behalf of the landlord was evasive, perverse and unreasonable. She took it upon herself to extract as much money as she could from my desposit. I don't know whether she or the landlord directed the tactics but of course the landlord was ultimately responsible. I dug in, especially as I could prove I was correct over some of the claims, but what the other side did was never address the evidence instead they always made concessions 'in the spirit of good will' with an eye to obtaining a reduced settlement.
There was 3 weeks of this wrangling and they infuriated me so much that even before it was over I was threatening legal action to obtain redress for this unwarranted and unreasonable claim on my time. Right at the end of negotiations there was a tipping point when I saw something that exposed a probable fraud. I asked for specific information on why a particular item was being charged and on what basis and they suddenly capitulated.
They withdrew all outstanding claims on the deposit and offered me the £272 that I had already conceded in exchange for my drawing a line under the whole business. I pointed out that this was in effect an offer of compensation for the reckless and unreasonable way they wasted my time and I wanted a minimum of £1000. They were aware, incidentally, that I used the flat as an office to write and when I made the offer I told them that I expected to be paid for 'the merry dance' they had led me.
Silence. Three days later the landlord's solicitor entered the fray: the remaining £272 was being transferred to my account and with all my deposit now returned to me I had no case. I retorted that I regarded this as only partial settlement for my claim and that will take further action to obtain redress.
Now I am not really sure how to go about this. I am currently asking the rental agency's lawyer for information and trying to find out from the Deposit Protection Service whether such negotiations should be conducted according to any specified standards, so as to process my claim but I am not sure under what grounds. I am not even sure that wasting a tenant's time and giving him the runaround in this fashion is liable. One would think it is but I am not sure. Someone suggested the simplest course is to just bill them for all the emails I wrote trying to deal with their nonsense, then sue if they refuse to pay.
Is there any advise you can give me?
Thanks, Jay