Page contents:
- Who are you?
- What’s this site all about?
- Why are you always bitching?
- It’s a pity you cannot give advise without the foul language?
- Why property?
- Are you rich?
- I emailed you, you never replied- WHY would you do that?
- I’ve heard rumours of your beauty, is it true?
- What if there’s a property crash?
- What’s so special about this website?
- You’ve made spelling mistakes
- Favourite quote
- What I want from you
- Buy me Coffee
Welcome to my personal landlord blog. Yes, this is a one-man show. If that.
Who are you?
I’m a 20-something 30-something year old landlord that enjoys sharing his morbid thoughts and real-life experiences through this blog.
I go by the alias “The Landlord” because it makes me feel powerful, and sidetracks me from the realities of my insecurities and inadequacies.
If you wish to connect with me, you can do so by following me on Twitter and/or Facebook. Alternatively, feel free to email me directly via my contact page.
What’s this site all about?
At a young’ish age, while all my peers excelled in masturbating and computer games, I had taken an unlikely keen interest in financial growth, particularly property investment. Despite how it may sound, I did have friends and I wasn’t bullied.
Wanting to pursue my interest, yet disabled by my fear of having zero experience, I was in a dilemma. I knew I liked the idea of owning and investing in property and in turn creating passive income and security for my future. But I had no idea how to achieve it. I literally didn’t have a clue. Sarah Beeny did as much as she could, but there was only so much I could learn from reruns of Property Ladder.
After a few years of umm’ing and ahh’ing and watching others succeed, I eventually decided to bite the bullet. I was prepared to invest my life-savings into a buy-to-let property and become a landlord. “The Landlord”, if you will.
The point of this website was to document my every step, so people (particularly bored people) could read about my transition from clueless-property-idiot to landlord. I completed the task on the 2nd of March 2007. Moral of the story? Any chump can do it. Yes, YOU can be that chump, you just need to believe.
Ever since completing my task I’ve been making regular updates to my blog, mostly covering my trials and tribulations as a landlord.
I still have plenty to learn and I regularly make mistakes, but this is the place where I share it all so others can learn and share their own experiences.
Why are you always bitching?
If you’ve already read through a few of my blog entries, you may have formed an opinion of me. Most likely negative.
Apparently I swear too much, make unnecessary sexual references, and perhaps come across as an extremely unsavoury person. Everything but the latter is true, the other stuff is down to my own brand of humour.
I don’t bitch a lot in life, but I do find it easier to blog when I want to vent, so that may make me look more psychotic, bitter and twisted than I actually am. I guess blogging on here is my therapy. I’m not a bitter person. I love being a Landlord and I’m a pretty laid back individual. People incorrectly assume I’m a miserable sack-of-shit that just complains all day. Not true! Not true.
All I can say is that I try to help people when and where I can, whether they’re a landlord, tenant, greasy letting agent or anyone with an interest in what I do. I genuinely want good people to succeed in life.
It’s a pity you cannot give advise without the foul language (your advise is good)!
You can fuck right off.
No, no, no. Come back *hugz*
Let me explain…
When I write/blog, I try my best to write like I speak in my head, and not how I’m ‘supposed’ to write. I pride myself on NOT being a dribbling drone.
In my free-spirited mind, before I apply my social filters, I swear a lot and it’s a lot more chaotic up in my head, and that’s the moment I try to capture on paper… because it’s those emotions that feel more real and human. I find people are able to relate better to those moments of initial chaos, and unfortunately, people rarely put anything “real” out there these days; everything feels robotic and processed.
But in reality, while dealing with any incident and people, I apply my social filters, and believe it or not, once that filters are blinking and operational, you’ll probably want to hug me… and caress me… all day, all night. For example, rarely do I swear in my every day conversations, in fact, I usually find it unnecessarily and disrespectful (depending on who/what I’m talking to). Needless to say, I wouldn’t say a lot of the things I do on here in real life.
Essentially, you need to take this place for what it is, and not for what it isn’t. This isn’t a tabloid newspaper or an editorial magazine- there are plenty of those landlord websites out there, which do a fine and boring job. This is a personal blog- not just mine, but for anyone that wants to comment/network in this capacity.
My main objective is to help others through my own experiences- the only way I know how to do that is by sharing my real thoughts/feelings, which includes every little morbid niggle of mine.
I know I’m not everyone’s cup-of-tea. I’m an acquired taste. Despite that, I genuinely want everyone to stick around and help the community prosper. However, based on copious amounts of dissatisfied emails I have received, I get the impression that many of you feel like I am forcing you to stick around at gunpoint. I promise you, if you never come back, there will be no repercussions beyond my very own tears.
But yeah, it is a tragic pity I can’t give advice without swearing my tits off. Agreed.
Why property?
I know many may disagree, but I believe property is a low risk investment with high rewards (if you do it right). I heard somewhere (God knows where) that 20% of the UK rich list made their wealth with Property Investment. I like the sound of that (even if it’s not true)!
Are you rich?
No, not even close.
Give me some money.
Seriously.
I emailed you, you never replied- WHY would you do that?
I genuinely try to reply to every email which requires a response, even the abusive ones. However, if I ignored your email you don’t receive a response (assuming it’s angling for a response) it’s probably because of at least one of the following reasons:
- Ignored my disclaimer(s) – this is the disclaimer directly above my contact form – it’s prominent and in plain view:
It’s especially baffling when I receive emails in the form of essays requesting assistance, which clearly took a long time to compile, with total disregard to my disclaimer. Not even a simple, “Hey, I know you said you don’t offer one-on-one support, but…”
Either way, I’m probably doing you a favour by not replying. Guidance from me would a case of the blind leading the blind.
In 99.9% of cases, you’re better off doing the following:
- Contacting LegalforLandlords – they provide free legal advice to landlords with problem tenants.
- Contacting your Local Citizens Advice Bureau – they can assist with a wide range of legal issues.
- Search through my blog posts and leave a comment on a relevant blog post which covers the issue you need assistance with.
- Take my initial advice (which you rudely ignored): get your ass over to the landlord/tenant forum.
- Lack of manners – the amount of emails I receive whereby people don’t even comply with basic manners is pretty damn scary. For example, if you email me asking for advice/help (yes, which goes against my point above, but like I said, people email me regardless), then at least say “hi”, “please”, and/or “thank you” (whichever is relevant).
I’m not asking for much, just manners. It’s free. It’s nice. Embrace it.
Personally, I wouldn’t have the balls to ask someone for help without being polite about it. If you do, you’re someone I have no interest in communicating with. Asshole.
- You’re a ditherer – I don’t have time to flirt (unless you’re exceptionally hot and/or big breasted), so if you don’t get to the point in your email I’m not going to waste time prying it out of you.
For example, if you’re going to email me with, “I have something that may be of interest to you and your readers, may I recommend a service?” (or something to that effect) without actually telling me what/where in that very same email, then I’m not interested.
Another classic, which I often receive is, “I have a business proposition for you, please call me on 020 XXXX XXX”
No.
If you’re trying to sell to me, then don’t make me work for information/details. You should provide all the necessary details, and if I like what I hear I’ll get in touch.
- Too lazy to do research on a topic I’ve addressed – you’re asking a question which I have already tackled in a blog post, so get off your lazy ass and spend at least 10-15mins going through the relative categories and/or use the search function. If you’re too lazy to do that, then excuse me for being too lazy to respond to you.
- Too lazy to research what this website is about – if you don’t already know, let me explain- this is a personal landlord blog– it’s literally covered in the first sentence of this “about” page.
I am one beautiful person; this is my online blog; I wrote every blog post on here with my blood, sweat and tears.
I’m annoyed because you didn’t bother to do any kind of research on the person/website you’re contacting – not even the bear minimum (i.e. reading the “about” page)- and that’s why you sent me an email which says along the lines of, “please can you put me in touch with the marketing department?”
There is no marketing department, dipshit. Again, this a personal blog, I’m not freaking Bill Zuckerberg over here, running an enterprise.
If you’re too lazy to spend a couple of minutes reading the “about” page before approaching me with a proposition, then I don’t want to deal with you, because the odds are you’re too
sillyincompetent to offer me anything remotely appealing, but more importantly, you’d probably drive me bonkers. - CAPSLOCKS – for some ridiculous reason you emailed me with the CAPSLOCK on. YOU’RE DEAD TO ME!
- You sent me useless marketing material – No, I’m not going to publish/share your shitty generic marketing material, which you blasted out to every mug on your emailing list. In fact, take me off your emailing list (I almost certainly didn’t subscribe to it in the first place).
- You think I’m a letting agent – you emailed me asking me if I know of any vacant properties for you and/or your family. I don’t. I’m not a letting agent. It’s silly that you think I am. You’re silly. Very silly.
- Your website is awful – you have a website and you want me to promote it, but your website is terrible (at least I think it is) or at least, inadequate enough for me to stay clear.
- You want my feedback – oddly, I receive emails from budding entrepreneurs wanting my critique on their flashy new property/landlord related product or service.
Unfortunately, I’m not a free consultant up for hire. And even if I was, I’d probably be a terrible one.
Sorry, but I don’t have the resources to provide critical feedback of your service/product. I’m sure it’s great the way you made it.
Out of curiosity, do you provide free consulting services?
Harsh, but fair, right? Good.
If you don’t fall under any of the above and I still failed to reply- oops, my bad, hit me up again. I’d love to hear from you :)
I’ve heard rumours of your beauty. Is it true?
Yes.
What if there’s a property crash? There is going to be one, ya’ know?
I know. I’m actually expecting a couple of crashes during my life-time of investing.
However, that’s alright with me- I don’t plan on making a quick exit, I’m here for the long haul. I’m using property as a means to secure my future.
A crash will only hinder the short-term investor. If you can be bothered, you can read more about My Property Investment Strategy.
What’s so special about your site compared to other property/landlord sites?
Nothing at all, to be honest. The only niche I have is that I have documented my “real story”, from property amateur to landlord.
I’ve ploughed through many financial and property related websites and I quickly realised they’re mostly crammed with technical and boring jargon that no one really ever understands, or even wants to. There’s no emotion, no signs of reality, it’s all very dry and inanimate.
I try to keep things real, in the sense that any normal, average Joe can relate to my experiences (even if you’re an absolute dumbass. I don’t descriminate). I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve picked up a few useful tips and tricks along the way, which may even provide useful for experienced landlords, and this is where I release.
You’ve made a few spelling mistakes, are you stupid?
Fuck you.
A lot.
Fucker.
Only joking.
I’m not a published author or a self-proclaimed journalist. This is my “personal blog” where I jot down my inner-thoughts, mostly during haste, so grammatical mistakes are plentiful. If you find it truly unbearable, to the point where you physically cannot deal with the massacre, then I deeply apologise. I want to make you feel comfortable during your visit, and I’ll do what I can to assist.
How about we help each other?
Above all, I want to create content that will help people progress in life, whether it be professionally or on a personal level. I imagine that’s accomplished most effectively when sentences make sense. So if you spot any mistakes, whether it’s a misuse of a comma or an incorrectly spelt word, drop me an email, and I’ll attend to the mess immediately.
Hopefully, together, we will tidy this place up so it’s a show-piece of grammatical perfection. That would be amazing. Incredible. So delicious.
What’s your favourite quote?
I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
– Blaise Pascal
It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.
– Seneca
A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.
– Mohammed Ali
This question/answer has nothing to do with anything, and no one even asked me the question, but I wanted to jot them down somewhere as a reminder.
I have an awesome new product for landlords, will you review it?
Probably not.
History dictates that it will be total junk.
What do you want from me (YOU, the readers)?
Friendly interaction, whether that entails seeking advice and/or helping the fellow man.
That’s all for now, kids. If you would like to know anything else, just hit me up by filling in the contact form on the contact page!
If you want to be notified about all my future posts, then sign up to my free newsletter!
Buy me Coffee
I didn’t really want me to do this, but I’m doing it anyways. I’m shameless, I know.
Over the years I’ve frequently had people ask me how they can show their gratitude for putting this altogether, and ultimately helping them in some capacity along their journey. The truth is, the fact they asked the question was more than enough. And it still is. Always will be.
However, if for whatever reason you wish to take it one step further, then feel free to support my addiction (which directly helps me with evolving my blog) by clicking on the button below…
Every ounce of support I receive – through caffeine or elsewhere – is always massively appreciated and humbling! So thank you.
It’s been emotional. I love you.
The Landlord.
Disclaimer: I'm just a simple landlord blogger; I'm not qualified to give legal or financial advice. Any information I share is my opinion based on my personal experiences as an active landlord, and should never be contrued as legal or professional advice. For more information, please read my full disclaimer.
There's a disclaimer in my footer, on every page of my website....