Earlier today I was pointed in the direction of an extremely creepy ad listing on Gumtree. Here it is:
Do you fit the description?
Are you male, aged between 18 – 25, and masculine? If so, Pete is offering you an opportunity to live RENT FREE in a very trendy part of London.
Really though, is it rent free? It’s not really, is it?
Even if the landlord doesn’t require sex (which is highly unlikely), he’ll still be getting payments in other forms, consequently getting a rather large bang for his buck, so to speak.
I’m pretty sure the landlord is fully aware of (and counting on) the following:
- Guys naturally walk around topless, in boxers
- Guys generally “hangout” with other guys
- Most guys between 18 – 25 frequently get drunk to the point where everything becomes blurry and forgotten. Enough said
- Any prospective tenant that takes Pete up on his offer will most likely be short of cash and desperate, so even if the tenant wakes up with an inanimate object wedged up his arse, he won’t be able to afford 1) to move out 2) get a good legal team
So, essentially, while hard cash isn’t exchanging hands; services are definitely expected to be exchanged. The landlord is paying for a shiny new toy, while the tenant is prepared to be that toy in exchange for a roof. But what worries me about Pete’s ad posting is the following line,
I do want to find someone who will compliment the life I have here.
Complimenting his life could entail anything; but it probably means…
BONE ME AND YOU WON’T HAVE TO PAY SHIT; YOU’LL ONLY NEED TO WIPE IT OFF YOUR PENIS.
That was probably disgustingly inappropriate. But true.
While this guy Pete IS clearly one creepy son of a bitch, I can appreciate why it would be appealing for a homosexual guy that fits the description. Put it this way, if an older straight woman had a similar ad listing, I’d be the first to apply.
Anyways, I just thought I’d share in case anyone wants to apply for this truly rare opportunity (although prostitution isn’t actually rare).