Who Is Your Ideal Property Babe?

There comes a time when every man has to surrender to his active testosterone, so without further ado, please allow nature to take its course by letting me mentally ejaculate over my website…

While I’ve made my admiration for Property Ladder’s Sarah Beeny loud and clear on many, many, many occasions, I think it’s important for every heterosexual male and homosexual female to be fully aware of some other treats with in the industry. Moreover, let’s face it, with the property market heading for a uphill struggle, half of these candidates may not be in the limelight much longer, so you may all conceive this as a charitable bid to keep them with the E-List celebrity bracket for that little bit longer, as opposed to being a meaningless, seedy little contest…

Some of these fine specimens you may have heard of, and some of them maybe on the same par as Edward Heath. Who? Exactly.

Amanda Lamb

Amanda Lamb

Best known for: A Place in the Sun, Channel 4

Amanda…sophisticated, classy, and looks great in the Channel 4 picture catalogue [which has since been removed, unfortunately] where her tits are strategically exposed for the nation to admire. Cracking body, great face. As for her property credentials…who gives a shit?

Never been a fan of the show because, you know, who cares about “a place in the sun” when I’m stuck in the frickin’ cold? I’ve always been a fan of hers, though.

Sleep with me, ok, Amanda?


Ok, fine, but I still think you’re swell.

Jasmin Harman

Jasmin Harman

Best known for: A Place in the Sun: Home or Away, Channel 4

Who is she exactly? What does she present? Never seen her before.

…where can I buy her calendar from?

I’ve seen pictures of her when she’s been completely dry; I have a basis of comparison, so trust me when I say she looks better wet and semi-naked. But that’s one man’s opinion; call me weird if ya’ like.

Having said that, I wouldn’t mind going for a cup’o’coffee and playing a game of footsies with her under the table, all while she’s dry as toast and dressed like a Caeser salad!

Dry or wet, she’s pretty sexy, innit she? Yes, she is.

Kirstie Allsopp

Kirstie Allsopp

Best known for: Location, location, location

One of the better known Property pin-ups. She’s got that thick, curvy athletic body that can be quite intimidating, kind of like a Russian weight lifter. The fear is that she won’t just dominate you the “normal” way, the fear is she will randomly detach your body parts and eat it…But hey, that’s the basis of her appeal.

Every man needs to be handled now and then. I certainly wouldn’t refuse her. In fact, i’d quite happily surrender and suffocate to death in between her breasts. That can be my punishment for writing this disgustingly chauvinistic post. Deal?

Lucy Alexander

Lucy Alexander

Known for: Homes Under The Hammer, BBC

Lucy who?!?!? Well, unless you’re a lazy shit that’s “inbetween jobs right now” or get the luxury of being able to watch daytime TV at 11am during working hours, you won’t see much of this sophisticated little minx. She’s pretty handy for the late risers with the morning woodies. Yeah, I said it.

She’s a tad older than the rest of the group, consequently may appeal to the mature man. But i’ll pay no minds to something as futile as age, experience is welcome in this contest (especially when you look like her). Unlike the majority of the others, she’s petite, so dominating her would be a whole heap of fun.

Sarah Beeny

Sarah Beeny

Best known for: Property Ladder, Channel 4

Sarah Beeny (or the Beeny), by far the most popular and well known Property Guru on TV.

She’s also occasionally noted for her knowledge on property, among a couple of other huge assets.

Breasts aside, she knows her shit when it comes to property development and that’s great masturbation material for any property-enthusiast/psycho right there.

Please cast your votes Ladies and Gentlemen!

30 Comments- Join The Conversation...

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Robert Clarke 18th December, 2007 @ 13:58

lolol great survey
never seen jasmin before but she looks mighty fine. but i wouldn't mind either of them.

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mark lawrence 19th December, 2007 @ 09:41

heh amanda all the way.
but i think a lot of those pictures make them look hotter than they actually are.

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trev 1st July, 2008 @ 10:34

kirstie by a country mile beautiful woman

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scott 24th September, 2008 @ 09:56

Its got to be Sarah Beeny with her Brains, Brawn and fantastic Boobs. Althouh in the boob category Kirsty gives a good account of herself.

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trev 24th September, 2008 @ 10:51

the gorgeous kirstie by a country mile she is so fine in every way

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al 4th November, 2008 @ 17:10

Some jammy bugger has had the luck to poke amanda, must have done a good job as well cos she's 6 months pregnant.some people have all the luck.

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hornyjoe 7th March, 2009 @ 23:47

i would fuck Jasmine Harman rotten
she is so hot

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Wysiwyg 10th March, 2009 @ 15:57

Gotta be Amanda, even tho she's up the duff , i would sell my best mates testicles to be able to have a poke at her

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Mike 29th April, 2009 @ 09:26

I don't know who the woman is in the photo you are claiming to be Lucy Alexander, but it is definitely not the Lucy Alexander from Homes Under The Hammer.
Could you please show a picture of the correct Lucy.


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Bob 23rd March, 2010 @ 11:00

Kirsty all the way

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Michael 23rd March, 2010 @ 13:14

Melissa Porter is the true Babe.
Why isn't she on here ?
She knocks the spots off all the other presenters.
I'm also glad to see the correct Lucy Alexander on here now.

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cherzo 27th April, 2010 @ 09:45

Lucy Alexander for me.

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Micky 27th April, 2010 @ 10:42

Melissa Porter is the hottest babe on tv.
Why isn't she at the top of the list ?
Leaving Melissa Porter off the list is as bad as leaving Wayne Rooney out of the England team.
Put Melissa on here now......please !

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Micky 27th April, 2010 @ 10:45

I saw a woman on Property Ladder the other day who was as hot as hot gets, and she wasn't a presenter she was one of the property developers.
Her name is Sian Ashty.
I know she isn't a tv presenter but she deserves a mention for being so hot !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Micky 27th April, 2010 @ 10:50

Sorry, her name was Sian Astley. You can check her out on Property Ladder YouTube. MMMMMMMM, lovely girl ! X

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 27th April, 2010 @ 11:16

Apparently Sian Astley has made quite a career out of property since appearing on property Ladder. She has her own website, Sian Astley's website

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Micky 27th April, 2010 @ 11:49

Sian Astley should have her own show.
She disagreed with Sarah Beeny's suggestions quite often and was proved to be right with her decisions.
She truly is an inspiration to all the budding property developers out there.
And as I said before, she is also a gorgeous woman, so would perfect for any property show.

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Micky 25th May, 2010 @ 12:35

Amanda lamb - fat
Kirstie Allsop - fat and talks like a 5 year old.
Melissa Porter - hotter than the sun (why isn't she on here ?
Sarah Beeny - lovely.......and big 'natural' boobs.
Sian Astley - The perfect woman (why isn't she on here ?

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Jools 26th May, 2010 @ 11:14

Corin "Pinky" Ames from Holmes on Homes.



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ANTHONY HELPS 7th June, 2010 @ 15:46

My vote goes to Jasmine Harman.
She is absolutly gorgeous ! A natural beauty ! Her other main asset is her personality, she is so fresh, natural & grnuine ! Perfect ! X

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steve 14th January, 2011 @ 17:52

kirsty does tick all the right boxes xx love to meet this star

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Insider info 17th March, 2011 @ 13:06

Micky - you obviously haven't had the pleasure of meeting Ms Astley....totally objectionable.

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elizabeth 27th July, 2011 @ 02:49

May a (heterosexual) woman join in? I found this hysterically funny boys. For me it is a toss up between Kirstie and Amanda. Both refreshingly brunette and portly as opposed to skeletal and blonde. That said, the vote goes to Kirstie - she is a delightful glam-frump with pale skin and a beguiling enthusiasm. Such a breath of fresh air in a world of clones.

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Jambo15 3rd March, 2012 @ 17:15

Hi' James here, y is Laura Hamilton no on this list aswell, fuck me she blows all of them oot the water & then some u know think so, well get a photo up Quick smart will yeez cheers, but Amanda & Lucy come a equal 2nd, a suppose a 3 some would b 2 much 2 ask for, right calm down? X X

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Mike 27th August, 2012 @ 12:37


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Jason 19th December, 2012 @ 11:23

Hell im gonna be greedy id like to spend the weekend with all of them at the same time. Don't think id have the energy for all of them at the same time but what the hell what a way to go at least i would die with a big smile on my face. Lol

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Marie 7th April, 2013 @ 16:26

Is Lucy Alexander pregnant/ Some shots make her look it

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Mike 8th April, 2013 @ 10:57

It is not fair I cannot and will not choose between these lovely ladies

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John Key 9th April, 2016 @ 10:11

They're all very attractive ladies but I have to say the lovely Lucy Alexander is a sizzling hot babe who positively glows with fresh creamy wholesome goodness...

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Mike 9th April, 2016 @ 10:52

Jasmin, Lucy and Sarah !! Whew this THE BLESSED TRINITY - tutherun is nowt but a tart!


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