Sales Calls From Estate Agents Are Painful

Estate Agent Target Landlord

Does anyone else receive sales calls from estate agents every now and then?

No? You lucky son of a gun.

They’re mostly just pie-in-the-sky sales attempts by agents that are clearly going through a dry patch, and they’ve arrived at the point where clutching at straws is all they have left.

Yes, it must be tough for them, but it’s bloody tougher for those on the receiving end of those painstaking calls. Crickey!

Here’s the transcript of one my recent experiences:

Hi, I’m calling from BlahBlah Estate Agents.

In the past you’ve purchased properties from us, so we appreciate your loyalty. To show you our appreciation we’re giving you preferential priority over a property that is currently 30% below market value.

It’s a great deal.

It’s located in Blahblah. Are you interested?

Hi there.

Unfortunately I’m not interested in buying property in that particular area. Do you have anything in [insert another local area]?

Errr… sadly, no I don’t!

But this other property is selling for a bargain price, so it might be in your best interest to get in there first.

Do you want me to book in a viewing for you, I’m available this week?

Ok, thanks. Take care now.

Firstly, am I really getting preferential treatment with your once in a lifetime deal, or am I just one out of 10,000 schmucks in your database that has to endure your baloney sales call today? Bear in mind, I haven’t heard hair nor hide from you in over two years.

Secondly, easy on the trigger, Turbo! I said I’m not interested, yet you interpreted that as a signal to schedule in a viewing. Are you dehydrated? Are you ok?

The thing is, the sales calls themselves don’t really get on my tits, it’s the greaseball attitude and primitive tactics that make them unbearable. They’re so devastatingly, oh I don’t know, shit. They just always seem to be riddled with angles and lies.

They should be embarrassed, but they never are, are they?

I’m still holding out for the day that I receive one of these sales calls where I’m overwhelmed with the stone called truth. I’d respect that.


I’m calling from blahblah Estate Agents.

Your number has been in our books since you previously purchased a property through us, and right now business is rough, so I’m calling you and a hundred other landlords on a whim.

I have a decent property available that’s currently below market value, it might be worth a look.

Before you give me your answer, just know that I have kids to feed and bills to pay.

They’re babies, actually.

Three of them.

Three different mummy’s.

I need this sale.

I’m not holding my breath.

Do you regularly receive these bogus calls, or have you ever had the misfortune of receiving one?

15 Join the Conversation...

Guest Avatar
Fiona 17th November, 2007 @ 12:04

argh I just left a longggggggg comment about estate agents .. and I pressed enter , and it said something about wordpress argh , so I pressed back and it had deleted my comment


The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 17th November, 2007 @ 12:06

Sorry, Fifi! Type it again :)

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Fiona 17th November, 2007 @ 12:11

I'll start again shall I , tsk .
I was reading an article in the paper abit ago about how ruthless they are , and it was saying how some estate agents read the obitchuaries , so they can contact the son or daughter asking if they plan to sell there parents house ?!
Its terrible .
I dont really know if I dislike estate agents , I think they are more amusing than anything , how they think they are so convincing.
When I bought my house , they wouldnt take the 'For Sale' sign down , even though id asked them so many times .
So I rang up , pretending to be a cash buyer and that i was really interested in the house etc and they told me that I could view the house THAT day . So I then told them who it actually was , and if they didnt take the sign down that day , id be pulling out .
haha they didnt even ring me after that.
But the sign got taken down . :D

I wasnt being gazumped !

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 17th November, 2007 @ 12:19

haha wow! I'm not actually surprised by your story, but that's incredible.

However, an estate agent's client is the vendor and not the buyer, so in their defense they could have said they're looking out for their clients best interest, even if that wasn't the case. But what they did was bad practise, definately.

There are some decent estate agents out there, for sure. But the majority of them are just ruthless snakes!

Guest Avatar
sycorax 11th August, 2009 @ 15:14

Hell yeah! I hate hate hate 'em. One firm in particular, which is crap and EVIL as opposed to just plain crap and greedy....

I am actually dead dead proud that Husband and I managed to move at all last August, what with twunting (copwright to Sycorax - blend of 'twat' and 'cunt') - bankers and EVIL agents. Basically we found a nice house we wanted, it had plumetted down in asking price from 289K to 275K. Which we knew hardly anyne not loaded and normal could managed, as we realised lending rates were dropping faster than Linsey Lohan's knickers. So we offered 250, got snooty abuse - we kept viewing it and eventually met the owner, who was v nervous and keen to sell. We realised things were getting bad and converted our fab but suddenly unsellable fkat to a BTL, so we could become 'proceedable.' In the end, they accepted 245 - but we had walked away, as the agent, DEXTERS (yes they are CRAAAAAP!) had utterly failed to price our flat right, and were also representing the vendor of the nice house, and failed to encourage her to take our 250 offer. And that's not all! I found the best BTL deal I could get, the agents were offering crud ones. Then came, as you also mention, the 'phone wars. Continual pestering from undereducated wankers who talk a load of bollocks! They kept asking us where we had found (a much better place in the end, again, found by sheer luck by me, and bigger, and cheaper!) - they have this way of pestering you and in the end we told them the place. We had exchanged, and our vendor was just grateful to have good proceedable buyers. Then no news from Dexters. We moved in and got tenants for our old flat. As I was tidying up things the vendor had left, I found this letter from Dexters, addressed to him the DAY we told them we had bought his house and were days away from completion:

'Dear Sir.
We undestand that you are putting your property on the market and have interested buyers. If so may we advise you to contact us in the first instance as we have a number of clients in the area who are prepared to offer you considerably more than the asking price...blah...backstab...bull...
Yours sincerely
Dexters Estates

I was fuming! The letter had been signed by the clueless and yet strangely schemey cow who had been 'assigned' to us. I 'phoned her up and gave her what for - before I even finished my sentence she lapsed straight into a pre-planned fast-spoken get out speech. Which was all lies.

So, in a nutshell:
They all lie, some more than others.
This particular compnany:
Puts thoer own self-inflated fantasies before achieving good deeals for vendor and buyer, ruined several possible sales, pissed of buyers and sellers, failed to realistically price our place and the seller's, and, when we told them we were withdrawing our flat from the market and had Got A Better House Ourselves, they resorted to trying to steal it from our reassuringly decent vendor. Cunts, really. Donnkey-fellating spacktards, even. Don't use 'em! :0)

Guest Avatar
sycorax 13th August, 2009 @ 07:20

I would like to apologise for my crappy typing. My hands hurt from digging soil and laying patio slabs! I can spell really, honestly.
Oh, and Xters are still twuntards at the time of posting :0)

Guest Avatar
flower 5th October, 2009 @ 10:15

So you're still a property idiot then? surely if you are trying to build a property portfolio you should be working with agents? of dear, you are doomed.............

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 5th October, 2009 @ 10:45

Yes, I'm an idiot because I'm not working with agents that offer me shitty deals and feed me cheap, transparent lines. Yes, I AM DOOMED FOR SURE!!!

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Twattybollocks 5th October, 2009 @ 13:18

I too am an idiot for assuming that when I have been to see a property with one of their highly skilled and motivated sales agents I would actually get a follow up phone call from them asking if I wanted to buy it? Obviously no interest in actually getting commission.

Hey flower - you an estate agent?

Sycorax - You go girl - with spelling and language like that have you considered working for the Sunday Sport? I think The landlord should hire you are special correspondant for all things Bankers/Agents/DSS etc!


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sycorax 22nd October, 2009 @ 10:36

Yo Twattybollocks!

Thanks indeed for your kind salutation and felicitous support. Ooh, I was a bit cross when I posted that comment! I maintain though, that my experience of estate agents has been of nothing but twuntery. I'd love to write for the Sport - all that dosh and bouncy-bouncy! I'd love a new keyboard even more tho! Frankly, I cannot believe what a lot of them get away with - sneaky letters, crappy sales, even the 'better' ones charge huge rates for essentially printing out a contract. And they never seem to listen to what the person wants till it suits them. So, yep, I am planning to keep going it alone - I just hope this website does too, it's been really helpful so far. Can we start a thread for new coined words to describe annoying Agents, Tenants, etc? I'd find it very calming....x

Guest Avatar
twattybollocks 22nd October, 2009 @ 15:27

Hey Sycorax - Of course estate agents never seem to listen - they have no brains to interperate the airwaves!!

You coined Twunt!

Can I coin Cunat!

A Cunat of letting agenty and a Twuntery of estate agents!


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Marlee 12th June, 2011 @ 07:37

At last! Someone who unsedrtands! Thanks for posting!

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Mal 30th July, 2011 @ 23:11

Hahaha funny as fuck.. Landlord u are one funny guy. I had one estate agent used to phone me at 8.30 every day!! Till I told him too.. Well u can guess

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James John 19th November, 2013 @ 18:04

You should try Franklyn James Estate Agents or Living in London EA's, absolutely vile and uncouth! A total disgrace.

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sujenna 10th July, 2014 @ 08:28

Never call an agent for an appraisal on your property with a view to selling!!!
AGENT 1 - "Oh I need to buy an invenstment property for myself. I am so busy that I never have time to look for a small unit. I will buy it from you myself and you don't have to pay any commission. It will be just like I am taking off one hat and putting on another hat". In other words you are a dumb female who I can hoodwink into selling your apartment to me below market price (after I dupe you with a bogus cheap apparaisal) and I can then resell it for the true market value and make a few bucks.
AGENT 2 - After the property was listed with a competitor who quickly had an offer, agent 2 continued to telephone harass me on a daily basis after looking it up on the internet ( attempt to have me terminate the agency agreement and list with him. 'White anting' other agents in an attempt to steal their listing is unprofessional and unfortunately commonplace. As is the 'chummy' telephone banter as though you are bosom buddies.

















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