Holy shit, this has been the longest period of time I’ve gone without publishing a post. It’s almost been a month. What’s my excuse? I’ve been sunning myself in various locations around the globe. Alas, it’s back to reality now, and what a landfill of diarrhea it is.
Naively, I had genuine intentions of sitting under an umbrella, tapping away on my laptop and unleashing a few posts. Reality was, I ended up laying there with my shades on while drooling over exotic women and tucking my erection under the elastic waist band of my swim shorts. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted; I’m back now, doing what I do, and how I usually do it…
Anyways, I digress.
If this particular holiday taught me anything about being a landlord, it’s that tenant’s aren’t for Christmas, or even for moments when I’m in the country, but they’re for life. Every damn second of the day.
While I was away I had a few tedious moments with one of my tenants that got right on my tits. I don’t know what I did that was so terrible in my past life, but I felt Karma unleashed her wrath. Granted, ordinarily I wouldn’t have been phased by the ongoings, but I think I became overly aggravated because I was going on holiday, and I just wanted everything to be perfect and worry free.
Schedule of events that irritated me
- 1) Tenant was due to pay rent 4 days before I was set to leave the country. I silently waited until my day of departure (I figured 4 days was a generous amount of time for him to get his shit together). He failed to deposit the funds. Mistake number 1.
2) On the morning of my departure, I text my tenant enquiring when rent would be paid. That’s mistake number 2. I shouldn’t have had to initiate the conversation. He knew rent was due, and he knew perfectly well he didn’t pay it. He should have contacted me first; I had given him 4 days to come crawling on his knees.
If I was in his position, I would have made contact first and informed the landlord with whatever sorry excuse I had managed to construe from out of my arse, and then told him when it would be paid. But I guess that’s the difference between someone with decency and an inconsiderate skidmark that enjoys sucking the blood out of innocent and beautiful people.
3) It took him 48 hours to respond to my text message. There we go, mistake number 3. It shouldn’t take someone 48 hours to respond to a text message, especially when it’s about something relatively important.
If my tenants need extra time to pay rent, i’m perfectly fine with that. Just let me know so I don’t waste my precious time waiting and chasing.
In his text he apologised and said he was paid late by his employer, and would pay me the next day. He said he would notify me with a confirmation text. At this point I was on my holiday in the Far East so I didn’t want to think about work, and also, texting back and forth was now an expensive delicacy. Either way, I responded and told him that was fine.
- 4) Next day had come and gone and I was still waiting for his confirmation. Mistake number 5.
- 5) Even though I didn’t receive any correspondence from the mute, I checked my bank online to see if he managed to pay rent. To my surprise, he paid £500. However, rent is £775. Mistake number 6. He didn’t pay the entire amount, and didn’t even bother informing me he was short.
- 6) 24 hours later, I’m laying on a beach texting my tenant, enquiring why the entire rent wasn’t paid. Mistake number 7 & 8; once again he had forced me to initiate a conversation he should have started, but more crucially, he had forced me to deduct time from my perving parade so I was able to chase him for rent. I told him rent was short (like the mute shit-for-brains didn’t know!), and asked him to tell me when the remaining balance could be settled.
- 7) Another 24 hours past and I was still dealing with a mute. Again, I decided to check my account online. Amazingly, he had deposited the remaining £275. So after 10 days of being in arrears, he had paid his rent. But again, there had been no correspondence from him (even until now). He was obviously receiving my texts. Weird.
I’m not even sure what the point of this blog post is. But I think it has something to do with the following:
- I wanted to explain why I haven’t been posting as much recently.
- I’m a reasonable guy. I don’t mind if my tenants need extra time to pay rent (as long as it doesn’t become a habit), but be bloody courteous and let me know what is going on. Moreover, don’t ignore my texts and say you’re going to contact me when you’re not.
- The combination of ignoring my texts and paying in unorthodox amounts without informing me became tedious.
- Tenants always seem to become problematic when I’m on annual leave.
So, on that note, has anyone else recently been irritated by their tenant or landlord? If so, let’s here it!
For those wondering, yes, I had a fabulous time, and it’s truly disgusting being back! x