Funny Shit Friday – DSS Tenant Demands Apology, But Walks Away With I.T Advice

Welcome to the 2nd episode of “Funny Shit Friday”. I genuinely didn’t think this would go further than the pilot episode, but it turns out there’s still life left in the old beast yet.

For those that missed the opening episode, you can catch it here, Funny Shit Friday – Houseshare Opportunity For A Sterile Hobbit That Isn’t Adverse To Crime.

This week’s episode of Funny Shit Friday focuses on a conversation I had with a DSS tenant a few days ago. Due to data protection reasons, I will keep the recipient’s email address hidden. However, nothing I post has been altered in any shape or form. Enjoy.

is this website some kind of joke? ive been reading your blogs about dss tenants and i want you to say that stuff to my face and i’ll show you how bad dss tenants can be you fucking wanka. i used to love kickin the shit out of people like u at school. it because of landlords like u that make my life hell. my last landlord kicked me and my son out because i couldnt afford rent why should i have to pay if i havent got the money? its no reason to evict me and wat about my son? why dont you stop being such a dick and have some compassion? Ed

Good evening Eddie,

Hope all is well.

Many thanks for your email; it certainly gave me a lot to think about. I took everything you said into consideration and I’ve decided that I completely agree with you.

I think the main problem is that when I pulled the hanky out of my colon, it forced me to ejaculate egg out of my anal-passage. I think the solution is to carry the bricks over to Harry using the wrench I used last week to unfasten my rectum. That should allow us to decide which DSS tenant deserves the egg.

What do you think?

Hopefully we’ll have this sorted by 23:11am.

Kind regards,
The Landlord

wat the fuck are you talking about m8? i dont no anyting about the bricks or harry. who is harry? is he a dss tenant? i just think what you say about dss tenants is bullshit. is that what you agree about? if so why are you so negative on your website? i think u owe us an apology. Ed

Hello again Sweetie.

Many thanks for taking the time out of your day to reply to my email.

Once again, I couldn’t agree with you more. You actually make me question myself – you open up dimensions I didn’t think possible.

I’ve published a formal apology on my website; I’ve also mentioned that we solved the brick/egg problem together.

Here’s the link:’t work-i-swear-to-god/

Please let me know your thoughts.

Kind regards,
The Landlord.

P.s. Do you have Facebook? If so, what’s your Facebook pin number? I have some applications I want to send you.

how did we solve the egg problem? i didnt even know what you were talking about. im happy you agree with my thoughts but the link you gave me didnt work? are you sure its right? it could be my computer as i have been having internet problems. i have facebook but i dont know what my pin is how do i find it? Ed

Hey Hun,

I’ve just been downstairs to make a killer cup of Cappachino. I don’t know about you, but nothing relaxes me more than a hot cuppa Cappy before I shut down for the evening. Do you drink anything before going to bed?

I just tested the link and it works 100%. I also emailed my dad to test the link; he’s currently living in Caulkerbush. He confirmed the link is working.

Based on the font-size you’re using in your emails, I can tell you have a DELL 5000 series laptop. I just looked on the DELL website and it states that what you’re experiencing is a bug related specifically to your model laptop. DELL advice you to call 0908 120 3569 in order to get the patch.

I hope the next time we talk you have resolved the problem and consequently you manage to read my sincerest apologies, and my in-depth explanation about how we managed to solve the egg/brick problem.

Once again, here’s the link:’t work-i-swear-to-god/

Kind regards,
The Landlord.

your a fucking cock that number went to some filthy sex line. what the fuck is wrong with you? do you think this is a joke? fucking pussy. like i said come meet me and i’ll show you how much of joke this is

Help Funny Shit Friday grow

If you think you’ve got something worthy of being posted in Funny Shit Friday, email me at “funny At propertyinvestmentproject DOT co DOT uk”.

I’ll probably reject a lot of the shit I receive because it won’t be funny, but if you manage to squeeze through my barriers, I’ll gladly post your shit and give you a backlink.

The only rule is, keep it property/landlord/tenant related. The sicker the better.

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8 Comments- Join The Conversation...

Guest Avatar
Chris 6th August, 2010 @ 08:07

Haha that's hilarious- epic impersonation of daftness.

How did he find your website anyway?

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Aunty P 6th August, 2010 @ 08:26

ROFL you do attract some nutters!

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Dan 6th August, 2010 @ 08:32

Pure genius mate, just so damn funny. Keep doing more stuff like this please! :)


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Ginsterlam 6th August, 2010 @ 09:16

This has definitely put a smile on my face! :D

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SHeldon 7th August, 2010 @ 03:26

lmfao!!!! fuck this is hilarious!!!

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Phil 8th August, 2010 @ 07:44

Nice one LL

Reading that made my day :-))

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twattybollocks 14th August, 2010 @ 17:54

Could not have done better myself!!


Go on, let us have his details. It's far too good an opportunity to miss to take the piss out of a confirmed nutter.....

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yorkshire_del_boy 26th August, 2010 @ 23:11


that's almost the same tactic i used at school in order to stop be being battered. confuse the stupid!! god forbid they should know how to say anything with two or more syllables.

come to dewsbury, half the people here can't even say it "doosby" "jewsbery" so on and so forth. it's annoying being called michael too because they simply CAN'T say it, no shit, it's just beyond them so i go through life being called mick, mike, mahkul etc...


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