BTL Is Dead. That’s Exactly Why I’m Buying!

Swimming Upstream Against the “Landlord Exodus“

How many landlords are fleeing?

We don’t know. But loads. Everyone I talk to is heading for the door.

Okay, how many landlords are buying?

We don’t know. But not many.

Okay, so what do you know?

There’s a landlord exodus.

Brilliant.

Screw it. I’m going all in.

I think we might be in peak fear territory, or at least whiskers away from it. That’s usually a good buy signal for me. So that’s why I’m deploying my remaining capital where my pie-hole is.

But I’m not buying a new BTL, I’m buying a new residential boudoir for myself. However, I’m not selling my current house – she’ll get tossed into the portfolio.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, there are two types of people in this world.

The first sloshes around on a sofa, with cheesy Cheeto dust spilling from their navel, doom-posting the day away on X, doing nothing to prove they actually have conviction in anything they say.

The second takes on the paralysing second-home stamp duty rate without flinching, defying herd mentality and possibly good sense.

Fun fact(s): The new house has incredible potential, but right now, it’s an absolute shitshow. Even by barn animal standards, it’s unliveable. Of course, I’m so ridiculously ill-prepared to handle this from every angle that it’s comically irresponsible.

I haven’t even done the due diligence to know if I even have enough funds to complete the necessary restorations anytime soon (I can tell you straight: I don’t). I definitely lack the experience and expertise to take this challenge on, and it will be a goddamn miracle if I don’t suffer multiple stress-induced strokes along the way. Anxiety attacks are guaranteed.

My coping mechanism so far: hoping it will all magically work out (even though it never does). But I have a sneaky feeling reality is about to slice through my faux-pessimism real fucking quick. GoFundMe page incoming.

On the plus side, that’s 12–24 months of blogging content right there. And in the worst‑case scenario, I’ll still be able to give you updates on how it all went wrong from the Coronary Care Unit, while liquid meals are being pumped into me through a tube.

Almost at the Finish Line… But the House Drama Was Always Coming

The wheels for this acquisition started turning in November 2025, and I’m so close to completion that I can almost taste the finish line. I’m guessing we’ll seal the deal by mid‑February. But honestly, I’m in no rush.

For the most part, it’s been a relatively stress-free process (I obviously just jinxed myself – the seeds of a future cataphoric blog post has just been planted!).

But what kind of bullshit purchase would this be if there were no dramas and heart-stopping moments? A fictional one, that’s what.

• Bamboo

  Yes, bamboo.

  As in, the plant that giant pandas seem to enjoy.

  I sensibly splashed out on a Level 3 Home Builders survey, and the report flagged bamboo growth in the back garden as a serious concern. In fact, it specifically recommended getting a separate specialist bamboo survey (WTF?) and, most likely, having it removed before moving forward with the purchase.

  Naturally, I fell down a rabbit hole of self-harm by researching worst‑case scenarios and discovering exactly why reckless bamboo planting is such a problem.

  Oh, hello: picture after picture of property foundations obliterated by a panda snacks. I may have already suffered a mild stroke at this point, to be fair.

  Apparently bamboo can be as nasty and as destructive as Japanese Knotweed, which is why, some lenders will even widthdraw their mortgage offers if it’s a big enough problem.

  Wait, what, really? This was literally all news to me.

  *I can’t breathe* Pass me a fucking stick of bamboo and your finest line!

  Long story short: after a lot of communication and negotiating with the agent and seller (who were both very reasonable), it all eventually got ripped out of the earth and disposed of.

  Seriously, bamboo? Who knew.

• Mortgage application

  SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL, arranging a mortgage this time was a proper palava. Maybe I’ve forgotten (or buried) how illogical and tedious this process is, or maybe lenders are just insane now. Either way, it felt like a full-on rectal exam, plyers included. All the endless toing and froing made me utterly nauseous. Just when you think you’ve got all your ducks in a row, they pull you over for something completely unexpected.

  For example, I triggered a red flag with my lender because I own £700k worth of real estate mortgage-free at today’s value (fictitious number for illustration), even though I had already disclosed that I have owned the properties for almost two decades. Apparently being mortgage-free for an estate of that value after that long was completely incomprehensible.

  “How the hell do you own properties worth £700k that’s mortgage-free? That’s very suspicious!”

  Really? Is it actually suspicious? Or are you just idiots?

  I then had to explain in writing – with proof – that, having bought the properties 20 years ago, I never paid anything close to the current market values they were using.

  Eventually, the penny must have dropped, because they waved me through security.

  Close call. I almost got side-lined by total dimwits for nothing.

From what I understand, we’re at the final stages now – document signing and stuff.

Buying a Property in 2026: An Eye-Opening Ride

Do you know what’s interesting about house price charts and stats? They mean fuck-all to real-life buyers. Mostly, they’re just clickbait for journalists who need something to write about.

Read the headlines, and you’d think there’s a nationwide property fire sale: 35% OFF! EVERYTHING MUST GO!!

Reality: there isn’t. Not for most actual buyers.

Here’s the real circus: property-doomers cherry-pick London leasehold data because that’s the hardest-hit corner of the market, while the property cheerleaders wave data from everywhere else like it actually matters.

The irony? It’s all largely useless for real buyers, because house prices are driven by local economies, which operate independently. In my area, for example, the market is strong, particularly for detached family homes. A housing oversupply 500 miles away, in the arse end of nowhere, does not impact me.

Don’t get me wrong, there are bargains to be had – the economy is certainly not healthy – but they’re not just lying around everywhere.

I went house-shopping expecting to find better deals than I actually did, probably because I also got somewhat brainwashed by the relentless bait. I think I got a good deal, and I absolutely love the property (or at least, what I think it can become), but I found zero evidence of desperate sellers taking 15–30% hits as advertised.

I actually think a lot of people are going to get side-lined again (it happens in every cycle!), waiting for deals that don’t exist. Just my opinion.

House-Buying Services I Used (and Still Recommend)

I’ve always tried to be transparent about the affiliate partnerships I have with various service providers. More importantly, I don’t recommend anyone I wouldn’t personally use. So this was the perfect opportunity to “mystery shop” some of my affiliate partners, just to reaffirm their spot on my winners list.

So far, I’ve used the following services:

• Mortgage broker

  I used the free online mortgage broker Habito for the third time – and they were fab. They cover the entire mortgage market, so they can offer the most competitive products available.

  The process was simple: I filled in a form, and they searched the market for the product that best matched my needs. I’m pretty sure they found the best deal out there, because I tried to hunt one down on my own, and couldn’t beat it.

  Similar deal to online estate agents – I don’t believe online mortgage brokers are for everyone, especially if you want an in-person, traditional one-to-one experience. But for hermits who love avoiding human contact at all costs and prefer arranging stuff online, they’re a total game-changer. If that’s you, I can highly recommend giving a service like Habito a gander.

  Here’s my full Habito review, if you’re interested.

• Conveyancing service

  I used the popular comparison site ReallyMoving.com – fill in a form, get five instant quotes, job done.

  I’ve used them a few times before, and they’ve always delivered very competitive quotes (they claim £625 average savings per transaction), often with exclusive discounts you won’t find anywhere else.

  If you’ve been on a quote-hunting expedition for conveyancing services recently, you may have also come to the same conclusion as I have: prices swing so wildly it’s almost comedic. Sure, you get what you pay for (and I’m a firm believer in not skimping when it comes to conveyancing services), but at some point diminishing returns have to kick in, right?

  Out of the five quotes, I picked a local-ish, mid-priced, well-rated conveyancer. That set me back £1,800. So far? Very cool experience.

  Needless to say, the vendor’s estate agent to shove their “recommended” conveyancer down my gullet, with the classic sales spiel: “the process will be smoother if you both use the same conveyancer.”

  Yeah, no! Hard pass. I didn’t even bother to get a quote. That’s usually a guaranteed way to get your pants pulled down.

• Homebuyer’s Survey

  Once again, I used ReallyMoving.com’s comparison service to fetch some quotes.

  The house I’m buying is a 1970s build, so I went for the full-on Level 3 Building Survey. I also grabbed quotes for a Level 2 HomeBuyer Survey out of curiosity, and was honestly surprised at how tiny the price difference was, maybe £100 – £200. It made me wonder why anyone would opt for Level 2.

  There was a decent spread of quotes (definitely not as wild as conveyancing), so I just picked a mid-tier service with solid reviews.

  I was genuinely impressed with both the surveyor and the final report. Cost me £750, and I’d happily pay it again.

Am I making a whopper of a mistake?

Am I completely misjudging what might actually be the end of the BTL market?

Who knows.

I’ll let you know in 10 – 15 years’ time. Or, at the very least, my AI driven butler will.

Wish me luck!

And whatever you have decided to do in these very uncertain times, I wish you the very best.

Landlord out xo