Who watched last night’s (28th July 2009) Property Snakes & Ladders (Series 7 Episode 8)?
Successful entrepreneurs Nigel and Sarah have a romantic notion that they can make a quarter of a million pounds by creating a swanky LA pad in the heart of a run down bit of Rotherhithe, East London.
I don’t usually dedicate individual blog posts to episodes of Property Ladder, but fuck me, it was car crash TV, so keeping my big mouth shut over this shit required too much effort.
It was horrible, it was hideous, truly sickening….and I loved it. Throughout the episode I was waiting forBeeny to say the entire episode was a sick joke while taking her off top and calling my name. Sorry, what? Anyways..
It had all the signs of a timeless joke: the developers purchased an old sausage factory; they wanted to spend 10k on a fish tank for the bathroom; they wanted to incorporate a purple velvet and leopard skin theme. Nope, it was not a joke. Oh, not all.
Unfortunately, it was never confirmed to be a joke, so I was left watching the darn thing in entire disbelief, with my jaw resting on the ground.
Who remembers this couple, Richard Chan and Isabelle Peno?
A few seasons ago I nominated Richard & Isabel as being the worst developers on the entire planet. Well, they’ve officially got some stiff competition. Meet “successful entrepreneurs Nigel Arrib and Sarah Donahue”…
As people, they seemed nice enough, but as developers, absolutely soul destroying individuals. I mean, it’s not that they were stupid, they were just completely stupid and completely out of their depth. Throughout the episode I was on the floor shaking like I was suffering from an epileptic fit, begging for mercy, begging for them to stop… talking, developing…moving.
It was painful. So painful.
They had this very
bizarre specific vision of what they wanted from their development and had every intention of making it a reality. Sadly, their vision is what most sane people would describe as a bloody living nightmare.
They clearly didn’t understand the industry, and to shove over one million quid into a venture that’s evidently not understood is financial suicide.
I think my favourite bit was when Beeny suggested splitting the property into 3 flats to minimise the inevitable losses. Of course, as per, it was a smart, sensible suggestion from the Beeny. So obviously that meant Nigel and Sarah were quick to oppose the idea because apparently, they wouldn’t “enjoy” developing flats.
Right, that’s a great reason to defy good business advice…*slaps forehead*
That kind of logic pretty much dominated the entire project, so the looming feeling of failure was never far away.
I’m still amazed that people go on Property Ladder and brush Sarah’s advice aside so effortlessly. It makes me wonder if these people have ever watched an episode before. A scarier thought would be that these people have watch Property Ladder religiously, but failed to learn a damn thing. If I went onto Property Ladder it would be a pretty mundane episode:
“What do you think I should do, Sarah?”
“Yes, you’re right, let’s do that, Sarah”
Who’s the expect here? I know it’s not me.
Ordinarily I would have flicked this shit over and watched the Antiques Road Show, but there was something unusually intoxicating about watching these two cheese-dildos in action.
Anyways, I’m not going to write a long essay on how terrible these clowns were because I’m more interested on your thoughts about the episode. I rarely remember the specifics of many Property Ladder developments, but I’m pretty sure this one will haunt society for a few good years.
This is what they did wrong:
- 1] They didn’t listen to Beeny
- 2] They set an unrealistic budget
- 3] They bought an overpriced property
- 4] They bought at the peak of the property boom
- 5] They targetted the wrong market
- 6] They stopped development for months
- 7] They catered for their own taste
- 8] They spent money on unnecessary shit, which wouldn’t have added any value
- 9] They got emotionally involved with the development
- 10] They purchased a property which was on the market for 4 years without any hesitation
This is what they did HALF right…
- listened to Beeny about splitting the house into flats, when it was too late (so they only get half a point here)
On a more positive note, it’s a perfect example of how NOT TO develop property. In fact, Sarah Beeny should release the episode as a DVD and title it, “The Developer’s Bible on how to develop shit property”
I’m sure she’d make a killing.
Ultimately, this episode was a prime example of how fools and their money are soon parted.
It’s not too late to watch it
For those that missed it, I urge you to watch it. It’s not too late. It’s absolutely brilliant for all the wrong reasons…
Disclaimer: I'm just a landlord blogger; I'm 100% not qualified to give legal or financial advice. I'm a doofus. Any information I share is my unqualified opinion, and should never be construed as professional legal or financial advice. You should definitely get advice from a qualified professional for any legal or financial matters. For more information, please read my full disclaimer.