Landlord Products / Services
Consider this my ‘Dear Diary’ entry Part 2, a continuation from my 2020 festive hissy fit I gifted you, when I lost my marbles over “Property Gurus” flogging dog-shit property courses for silly-money. Good times.
I thought I had emptied the chamber the first time round, but it looks like fate has other plans for me, probably because this train wreck is so much worse than we ever imagined, with the body count continuing to pile up.
Yes, things are worse, but still woefully unsurprising, so I can’t accept any brownie points for knowing that the rise of the Social Media Property Gurus – a cornerstone of the unregulated “wealth creation” industry – was always destined to be the root of financial ruin for many hopeful fools. As is every ploy which preys on desperation and involves a narcissistic figurehead promising “financial freedom” and an assortment of other alluring buzz phrases, all making the unlikely seem probable *yawn*
I’m specifically talking about the parasites targeting, re-targeting and tracking us like wild game via social media, making us believe that we can all effortlessly exceed our expectations and grab a seat at the property millionaires’ table.
We can’t.
Dear Diary, what in the hell is going on here? How have we fallen so far, and why are we continuing to free-fall?
Honestly, I’m truly gobsmacked by the amount of wallies continuing to lap this tosh up, and paying an obscene amount of money for a ticket onto the hype train, with unwavering faith that they’re on route to the promised land, all because they’ve been reassured by a donkey at the helm – most likely a former double glazing salesman – on Insta/TikTok/YouTube, swearing blind they have the key to unlocking our full potential with their rags-to-riches blueprint.
Very frustrating, and that’s why this showdown might unravel into an ungodly potty-mouth fest, if it hasn’t already. I apologise either way, it’s not very festive of me, is it?
Why property related “get rich quick” seminars suck, and why those who teach it suck even harder!
I’m going to generalise the living snot out of this, but I’m optimistic I won’t be far off from reality in most cases.
Property gurus that run their insidious masterclasses, selling quick routes to millionaire status and financial freedom via property investment are purely motivated by personal greed – they’re not “giving back” like they claim, and they couldn’t care less about you “making it”. They consciously lead their faithful clansmen into the burning flames of over-leveraged hell, all without even the faintest tingle of remorse. They do this by indoctrinating strategies that require very little capital, if any at all, while convincing the room they’re actually dispatching useful information.
They have no other choice but to sell garbage like the rent-to-rent model (which requires minimal start-up capital) with a straight face if they want to milk the lucrative wealth creation market, because these schemes by design and logic almost exclusively appeal to those that have diddly-squat to invest. The obvious trade off for trying to get rich without a bean is being exposed to an insane level of risk, and that’s why the strategies they’re teaching have pitiful success rates. No one should be teaching it or encouraging it, let alone selling it.
The idea of generating life changing wealth quickly and easily through a vehicle as expensive as property without actually having any starting capital is objectively ludicrous… and that’s why it’s a fucking joke. At best, you’ll end up “paper rich” with virtually no liquidity and cashflow, and a property empire on life support. At worst, you’ll end up with less money than when you started and still idolise the moron that swindled you into the hot mess, adamant the investment was worth the “life changing experience” Oh brother!
What makes the mentors suck harder than their seminars/courses? They’re making considerably more money selling [bullshit] education than practising what they teach, and then use that money to grow their property empire while claiming they “made it” through their shrewd property investment strategies.
Let that sink into the dome for a second.
They’ll claim they were self-made property millionaires while they were still cooking in their mother’s womb, or at an equally impressive young age.
They weren’t.
More likely, when these gurus say they’re “property millionaires”, what they mean is they’re leveraged up to their eyeballs in debt and manage a portfolio worth millions. That’s what you call “paper rich”, and there’s a stark difference between being rich on paper and actually stone cold, “fuck you, park my Lambo” rich.
Heaven forbid, what if you fail to become a property millionaire via their dog-turd property course?
Well that’s wonderfully simple…
“If you do everything I tell you to do, you will become a property millionaire just like me. If you don’t make it, you didn’t listen to me!”
Righto, so as expected.
My absolute biggest gripe with the system is that the dream is being sold without properly exposing the risks. They drill home the potential over and over and over again, and continually share their own exaggerated success story to give you the illusion that any dumb-fuck can do it.
Shove the “potential” up your ass, what’s the likelihood of this codswallop actually materialising into realised gains?
*silence*
Needless to say, these high risk bottom-of-the-barrel strategies should not be confused with traditional BTL investments and practises, which is essentially all the good and pure stuff I’ve been talking about since the inception of this blog. The few simple key elements revolve around putting down sensible deposits on the right property, reducing debt, capital growth, hard work, and building long-term and healthy relationships with tenants. No, it’s not easily scalable, but my God, she’s beautiful.
The increase in Property Experts endorsing toxic shortcuts into property investment is terrible for the sector, because above all, they end up lowering standards for everyone, particularly tenants.
I can only encourage all landlords, current and aspiring, to avoid looking for the shortcuts and getting lured into gimmicks that promote fast-tracking to wealth, but rather focus on building a rental business properly from the ground up. That means looking out for your own safety, and your tenants. Neither of those objectives are cheap or easy.
I almost feel squeezy regurgitating my position; it all feels rather obvious. But it’s not to everyone! That’s something I need to keep reminding myself, even if I don’t fully understand why for the life of me.
The toxic rise of Social Media Property Experts
Over the past year, I’ve watched in horror as our self-proclaimed saviours, our beacon of light, have upped the stakes by kicking their recruitment regime into overdrive during the lockdown, taking full advantage of the increased number of idle-minds wired into the internet, many plagued with the looming fear of uncertainty and financial turmoil.
Boy, did these spineless greaseballs shamelessly continue to pump out absolutely mind-bogglingly useless and skin-crawling content, knowing full well they’ve been gifted a shiny new audience, reeking of desperation, prime for exploitation, ready to absorb the most outlandish gibberish.
Know what really gets on my fluff-ball tits? It’s abundantly clear, at least to me and I imagine most people, that the overly colourful pantomime actors at the forefront are masking their lack of integrity and value with cheap theatrics and misdirection, yet many of them still manage to clamp together a cult-like following.
The problem is, as I pointed out previously, these jackasses aren’t trying to tap into the minds of rational or successful people – they can’t access that market – they’re specifically targeting all the Berts’ and Lorraines’ in this world that are down on their luck, recovering from a cheating spouse and contending with financial ruin, in search for a quick fix. Sadly, desperate minds are rarely rational minds, which is why they’re more inclined to pin their hopes on harebrained schemes, despite how objectively loony they are.
It’s time to wake up once and for all!
In Part 1, the Lord knows I wore my pudgy fingers down to stumps, sympathising with those that get brainwashed into becoming faithful disciples of these property Savants. While I still truly sympathise, I’d be remiss if I didn’t wonder, at what point does the victim become the fool?
Perhaps now isn’t the time to twist the knife.
So why am I circling back to this topic?
There’s two reasons:
1) The good fight never ends!
I can never warn anyone enough to err on the side of caution before enrolling into any property course that demands a gut-wrenching entry fee and/or promote stupid-ass expectations, like achieving financial freedom with minimal time and effort.
The fight against Social Media “Property Experts” that make lofty claims and sell property courses that cost more than my house is ongoing. Most of what they show you isn’t real, and most of them are narcissistic dicks.
2) There was a silver-lining!
The whole COVID situation has been, and continues to be, nothing short of a tragedy. However, I can say – with no delight at all – that the lockdown managed to halt large gatherings, including shady property seminars, which was a welcome silver-lining.
Unfortunately, after the lockdown easing, public gatherings swiftly resumed, and it wasn’t long before property seminars got back in full swing, and attracted hoards of freshly battle-wounded troops that were in search of hope. The wrath of COVID was the perfect storm for “wealth creators”; the economic impact created a new army of lost souls that fit the profile for their missile seekers.
Literally, last week, a friend-of-a-friend attended a free property seminar in London. They were so convinced by the opening act that they signed up for a £10k property course, so he could learn how to rent-to-rent “the right way.”
Meanwhile, I was wondering why the mumbling jock-strap didn’t sink the £10k into a deposit so he could actually own a property and reap the rewards of the tried-and-tested traditional BTL model. I guess that was too bloody sensible.
Seasons greetings, my friends.
Landlord out xo
P.s. Unfortunately I don’t have a face for public speaking so I can’t sell you £12k property courses. If I did, just know that I’d be tossing your ass down a sales funnel, encouraging you to sign away your hopeless life. However, I do have a virtual begging bowl that you can fill with coffee.
Property courses, begging bowl… Tomato, Tomahto. We all have our means of achieving financial freedom!
Disclaimer: I'm just a landlord blogger; I'm 100% not qualified to give legal or financial advice. I'm a doofus. Any information I share is my unqualified opinion, and should never be construed as professional legal or financial advice. You should definitely get advice from a qualified professional for any legal or financial matters. For more information, please read my full disclaimer.
A lot of that could apply to the shills pumping crypto.