I’m Bored Of Painting Over Bad Taste And Moudly Shit

I’m going to have a quick outburst of rage before I leave my house this morning because that’s the kind of mood I’m in.

I’m exhausted and overworked, which is the make-up of a very vulnerable and delirious individual, consequently I may say some things I don’t necessarily mean. Fuck all of you.

My previous tenant moved out just under 2 weeks ago, and my new one moves in on Monday, so that gave me a 2 week window of opportunity to get the place together.

The previous tenant came with the property, and he remained a tenant for 3 years while I was the landlord. The property has always needed a cosmetic overthrown, but my tenant never complained, so I didn’t see the point in fixing something that wasn’t broken. If my tenant has equally bad taste as the his surrounding, that’s his problem. I hope he enjoyed having sex with his wife in a room coated with dark brown paint and a mouldy ceiling. Speaking of which, his wife conceived in that rotten dungeon of a room. True story.

I don’t know how my tenant managed it, but he tolerated a combination of rotting pipes, mouldy ceilings, and bright pink, sky blue and dark brown walls throughout his tenure. Perhaps he was genuinely colour-blind.

I’ve always dreaded the day he was going to give notice. Not just because he was a good tenant, but because I knew as soon as he left I would need to rectify the unorthodox colour scheme before anyone “decent” would even dream of renting the property. Seriously, every room needed multiple coats due to the aggressive and prominent colour palette. Every square inch of the property literally needed to be painted, and painted again.

I’ve been painting for 2 weeks solid now, and I’m at breaking point. I’ve been maintaining 2 full-time jobs back-to-back. I’m exhausted, bored, miserable and fed-up. I cannot wait for the next few days to be over. I’m only just starting to see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, but I won’t be happy until I’ve squeezed through the other end completely, with a stiff drink in my hand, and ideally a pair of huge tits in my face.

I have a new found respect for painters. Actually, I’m not sure if I found respect or sympathy. Painting is bloody brain numbingly boring. I have no idea how anyone can do it every damn day. I’m actually surprised painters and decorators don’t have a higher suicide rate. After a week of painting I wanted to blow my brains out at the thought of holding another paint brush.

Applying the paint to the surface is only the tip of the ice berg, it’s the preparation that really gets on my tits – laying down protection sheets, cleaning the surface, applying polyfiller, sanding down the rough surfaces, masking the edges.. ZZZzzzzZzz KILL ME NOW.

I actually feel sorry for myself while I’m painting. I think about my friends out in town, having fun, doing cool shit like fingering girls on the dance floor in a seedy night club, while I’m ultimately fixing someone else’s stupid and careless mistake. I’m actually angry; angry at the previous owners for choosing such a ludicrous colour scheme to plague the property. What were they thinking? Idiots.

From what I’ve experienced, this is probably the lowest aspect of being a landlord- painting over a whole heap of someone else’s shit.

Here’s a picture of the “dark brown” walls and the rotting window frames, just so you have an idea of what I’m dealing with:

Horrible Brown Bathroom

I fail to believe that this look was ever trendy, at least not in the last 15 years (the age of the property), so it’s essentially just a case of “no style”. I will get a ‘after’ picture of the bathroom later today.

Well, I hope you all enjoy the Lord’s day and enjoy your Sunday roast. I’m off to paint and stuff.

I hate you all.

14 Comments- Join The Conversation...

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Andrew Mills 10th October, 2010 @ 14:50

I recently painted some function rooms at a local sports centre. It had high ceilings (so even with a long reach roller I was up and down the sodding ladder all day), manky old woodwork, a damaged plasterboard partition. It took me two weeks to do. And I agree with you on it being a right headf*ck.

But I think many people who do it for a living do it in teams of at least 2 people, so that helps make it more bearable than when you're on your own.

However, I think your post outlines the importance of knowing when to get some help. It may be "noble" (for want of a better description) and cheaper to do it yourself, but there's no shame in getting someone in to help you. I did this with the function rooms - I got a friend in to help with the final push.

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 10th October, 2010 @ 19:53

Hey Andrew,

I actually did have a few friends come and help on a few occasions. They did as much as they could, and I was extremely grateful for that. But I was working through very social hours, and I didn't expect nor ask anyone to give up that time, so a lot of the time I was working through the nights and weekends alone!

You hit the nail on the head. It is so much more bearable when you're painting with someone else. I was so much more motivated when I had someone else to talk to, and share the struggle with.

I hate painting!

Guest Avatar
Ginsterlam 11th October, 2010 @ 09:27

You should've thrown a painting party!
Call a few mates around, ply them with beer, some grub and a few good tunes and bravo, painting done in a couple of hours!!

Guest Avatar
kas 11th October, 2010 @ 09:29

The Landlord, I've enjoyed all your posts and check in regularly to see what bile you have been spewing. Love it.

But this time, I have to say, why don't you just hire someone to do it? I've helped my parents to paint their new house before moving in and it was a pain in poophole.

It's obvious you don't like painting. Surely your investment allows for these repairs/maintenance? i.e. there's enough of a cashflow so you don't have to do this monkey work?

I don't know. I guess I'm just thinking aloud on a personal preference - I just can't be arsed painting, so I try and factor the extra costs when purchasing property and make sure there's enough of a margin to cover it.

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 11th October, 2010 @ 15:39


The idea had crossed my mind. But then I remembered what my friends are like when they get together and have a few drinks. It's messy. Just as my house would have looked after the party!


Many thanks, really appreciate your comments :)
I do have a contingency for maintenance and decoration, but I try to do as much as I can myself to keep costs down. After all, this is a business. I do what I can myself, and get the rest done professionally. I know my limits.

Don't get me wrong, painting is a right pain, but the way I look at it is, it's a few weeks of hard graft, and then it's over for at least a few years! I'm kicking and screaming while doing it, but I can ultimately live with it.

To paint the entire house, including all skirting, walls and ceilings would have cost a few grand. That's a lot of money! I'd rather put that money towards doing up a kitchen/bathroom!

Guest Avatar
marcy 11th October, 2010 @ 19:26

I could of helped you out there hunni - I'm a painter and decorator with large tits - would make a great party!!!

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 11th October, 2010 @ 19:38

How large?

Guest Avatar
Twattybollocks 12th October, 2010 @ 16:13

@Marcy - agree with Landlord - How Large? Large and pendulous or like a lactating heifer? Neither a bad thing - just need a boundry to work to!

@Lndlord: Man up! At least you did not have an avocado suite to deal with too!!

I have a tenant about to move out - looks like painting will be my new best friend for some time......


Guest Avatar
marcy 12th October, 2010 @ 19:24

lol - the first of the two...

get in the way sometimes :)

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 12th October, 2010 @ 21:07

Are you single Marcy?

Guest Avatar
Twattybollocks 13th October, 2010 @ 12:21

@Marcy: Thanks for that! I hope you really are Marcy and not some bored accountant from Penge called Eric!LOL


Guest Avatar
marcy 13th October, 2010 @ 17:23

I'm not single although sometimes I wish I was!!

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 13th October, 2010 @ 20:25

Well, you know where my contact form is if you ever want to act single and/or paint my house while naked.

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SHeldon 22nd October, 2010 @ 22:34



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