My Tenant Is Starting To Get On My Nerves!


I think I’m on the verge of full-on imploding.

I’m getting increasingly frustrated and angered towards a longtime tenant of mine.

I’m a whisker away from carrying the burden of hating her. Then again, “hate” is pretty extreme, and I don’t need the extra emotional baggage; perhaps I just want her to experience the wrath of Karma so she only gets what she deserves. Maybe a swift punch in the face, causing a waterfall of dripping blood and permanent disfiguring.

That sounds about right, and fair. But the stupid tart will probably use that as an excuse to skip rent payment. I can’t win.

As all classic “Landlord Vs Tenant” tales go, everything started off peachy; she paid the rent on time, she kept the place tidy and she kept her mouth firmly shut. What else does a landlord require? There was minimal communication- we both just got on with our lives- it was a perfect relationship.

However, over time, she started to get a little too comfortable, and slowly demanded more and more. I’ve found there to be one undeniable fact about humans. Not just tenants, but humans- as soon as we get into our comfort zones we start ruthlessly taking the piss.

The problems have escalated in a snowball fashion. First it was a few niggling tricks that she learned; tricks that were minuscule, but irritating enough to cause a light flash on the radar. But then the tricks started to become regular, slowly forming into “habits” rather than one-off’s. As the habits became regular, they started multiplying in numbers and various breeds.

It’s now got to the point where she irks the hell out of me. Even the little things get under my skin, whereas before they probably wouldn’t have. I wish she was simple and normal. I wish she kept that common gob of hers firmly closed, instead of infecting me with her loose, bantering lips. Speaking of which, I have some rusty nails in the shed that can seal the deal.

Here are just some of the annoying habits she’s picked up, to name:

Rent is always late

Rent is NEVER on time, consequently I usually have to chase her up. She pays the rent every month, but it’s never on the agreed date. It irritates the living hell out of me. Why should I have to waste my time chasing her every month? It’s no mystery that it would be easier for both of us if she paid on time. You’d think after 6 consequtive months of chasing her on a per month basis, she’d grasp the idea of paying rent on time. It’s not difficult.

Her excuses make me cringe

Excuses. She loves her excuses. She has a different excuse every month for why the rent is not on time, and each month they get less believable and more cringe-worth.

She conjures up some kind of chaotic family drama on a monthly basis. To be honest, I don’t give a shit about her dramatics, so she can spare me from the excuses. If I wanted family drama I’d watch Eastenders.

I’m pretty sure, according to her, her mum has died twice now.

Unnecessarily wants to spend my money

She wants me to make unnecessary changes to the property ALL the time. If something needs fixing, I’ll fix it. Believe me, I’m the first to put my hand in my pocket if it needs be. But she calls me up asking me to replace ridiculous shit that doesn’t even need attention. For example (without getting into specifics), a few months ago an item in the property broke, which I replaced with a new model almost immediately.

Apparently that wasn’t good enough. She wanted another fully functional item to be replaced because it didn’t match the colour of the item I replaced. And I’m not talking about cheap products here. The item I replaced cost £250, and she wanted me to spend an extra £200 so everything was colour coordinated. What kind of insane bullshit is that? Amazingly, she seemed upset/surprised when I refused to indulge her need to colour coordinate the furniture. Perhaps I should inform her I’m not her husband, maybe then she’ll quit stop chewing my ancles like a gold-digger.

She takes matters into her own hands

She once fixed something without asking my permission, and then deducted the cost from her monthly rent. I’ve never forgotten that, and doubt I ever will. I would have paid for the damn thing to get fixed, but she did it without even informing me.

The only reason I found out was because when I received her rent cheque, there was a note attached to it, explaining why the rent was short.

I felt like leaving her a note on her windscreen saying, “fuck with me again, and I’ll detach your clit with a spoon.”

Give me my receipts, you tart!!

Over the last few months, work has been completed to the property. She’s got all the receipts because the labourers give them to her (since I’m not there). I’ve asked her twice in person, 3 times on the phone, and 3 times by text for her to send them to me. She always tells me she will send them, but never does.

I eventually got a few of them through, but there was one still missing. She knew how many receipts I was expecting; I explicitly stated so. So why the fuck did she send all but one? Of course, the one she never sent was the one which accounted for the most value.

In conclusion…

In conclusion, my tenant is careless, sloppy, and a complete pain in the fucking ass. I wouldn’t go as far as saying she’s a “bad” tenant, but I would say she’s irritating as chlamydia, and needs a leash put on her. As mentioned, she does pay rent and she keeps the property in excellent condition, but her habits…they make me want to scratch my eyes out.

What am I going to do about it all? Meh, we’ll see.

How do your tenants annoy you?

7 Comments- Join The Conversation...

Guest Avatar
Kathw 2nd December, 2008 @ 12:26

"How do your tenants annoy you?"

By ripping out an original Georgian bath and replacing with a "nice new one".....

The worst was when they had a mice problem but because it didn't bother them they didn't report it until the mice had eaten half the kitchen cupboards...
Happy days!

1
The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 2nd December, 2008 @ 12:47

Oh wow! Did they throw the bath away? Did they even let you know they were going to make changes to the bathroom?

They didn't have a problem with mice? Hmmm...they sound like nice, clean people.

2
Guest Avatar
KathW 2nd December, 2008 @ 21:09

Hehe!
Hence the start of me falling out of love with letting agents...
The bath was in the garden full of shrubs (they'd obviously been reading homes and gardens or some such crap!)
Because it was an 'old' their words property they thought mice were pair for the course.... Its what happens when 'townies' decide to head for the country ;o)
They paid over £1,500 a month rental wise - just goes to show money doesn't buy taste or common sense!

3
Guest Avatar
graham 9th December, 2008 @ 10:38

I take it your tenant doesnt know you do this blog!! LOL

4
The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 9th December, 2008 @ 13:58

I removed my pictures because the internet is starting to get smaller..hah!

5
Guest Avatar
Nala 13th January, 2014 @ 21:14

My tenant is really irritating and clingy. I live in Hawaii, and rent out a studio for people to stay, either for vacation or military stuff. He thinks that because my house is within walking distance that I am his official tour guide and constantly asks about beaches, bike rentals, hikes, even a vacuum. I was going to a dentist appointment and when I was going to my car I found him in the passenger seat. Waiting for me to be his chauffeur. I had to drop off and pick him up from a tourist shop and a beach. For a guy he is extremely talkative and almost womanish, with an unnerving accent. He even just comes to my porch and strikes up a conversation. Ugh. I can't wait for him to leave.

6
Guest Avatar
Rick Doidge 9th May, 2014 @ 07:06

How unassertive can you people get though? It is perfectly possible to be polite and businesslike at the same time.

7

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