Rip Off Letting Agents & Their Bullshit Service

“You know what? Rip me off once, shame on me. But twice? I’m coming after you, your oversized hand-me-down suit, and your bottle of Old Spice, fucker!” – The Landlord

Ok, so yesterday I wrote a blog post about how I encountered a rude, cock-face letting agent. Well, the saga continues…

Just as a quick recap: my local letting agent wanted £500 to find me tenants. Initially, I was like, “Okay, cool, see what you find me“.

Just for context, I should clarify that using a high-street agent was my backup plan, because I generally always find tenants myself via an online letting agent these days. Paying for high-street services was literally PLAN Z, but a potential fallback nonetheless.

Defining what kind of tenant I want!

When the local agent came to view the property, he asked me a bunch of questions regarding my preferences in terms of what kind of tenant I would like:

I said “no” to all but the children.

I have no problems with children as long as they’re potty trained, consequently are less likely to cry all-day-long and irritate the crap out of the neighbours (which is agro I don’t need to be dealing with), or piss, shit, and doodle all over the walls and carpets. I also mentioned that I only want working-professionals.

The agent seemed to note my responses down on his clipboard so there was no excuse of the information just fell out of his head (incredible how often that happens to agents. Poor things!), although I can’t confirm what he actually wrote. At least, he was making all the correct movements to suggest he was taking down notes. He could have been sketching his wildest fantasy for all I know; he held onto his precious clipboard for dear life, so it was certainly too tight to his chest for me to peak over.

What's up ladies?

Ok, so as I explained in yesterday’s blog post: a few days after the agent had paid visit and noted down my requirements, he contacted me – smugly – to notify me that he found find a suitable applicant. However, the cock-sure wally had taken it upon himself to give her false hope.

He basically told her she can have the property without running the details by me first. I told him that his actions were unacceptable because I hadn’t agreed to anything, so questioned *why* he would give a prospective tenant the green-light without getting approval from the “decision-maker” first.

Yeah, I don’t get it either *shrugs shoulders*

Surely that’s standard practise for even the most snake-oil of agents, right?

To my complete confusion, my agent got his knickers in a twist because he claims to have found me the perfect tenant, and his argument is that I’m being an uppity asshole by not blindly jumping up and down with joy, and falling over myself to sign the contracts!

Lord forgive me for having an ounce of sense!

Apparently the agent and tenant were so far down the process of getting the deal signed, that the poor woman has already arranged for her Guarantor to travel down from the other side of the country to sign the the guarantor contract.

Yes, yes, I’m an asshole for letting this happen!

But, still, NO!

At this point, I had no intention of working with the agent anymore – they proved to be inadequate, to put it nicely.

“Please work with us, even though we’re utterly useless”

In a lousy attempt to regain my trust – but more importantly my business – the agent contacted me last night, offering to lower his rate if I accept the tenant.

Oh, and no, they didn’t even want to cover the issue of *why* I was left with a bad taste in my mouth. They got straight down to business; closing the deal was evidently their only goal.

They offered to reduce their rate to £325. That’s quite a reduction from £500. Times must be hard. Perhaps if they didn’t treat their clients like assholes they wouldn’t *need* to lower their rates. Just a random thought!

While I still had no interest in working with them, curiosity had grabbed me around the throat, so I enquired about that “perfect” tenant they had unearthed. I asked the following questions:

  • Who is the tenant?
  • How old is the tenant?
  • What does the tenant do?
  • Does the tenant have kids?

Do you know what the agent responded with? She’s a 25yr old single mother, that’s a part-time fitness instructor, and she’s also in receivership of housing benefits.

I initially thought he was playing a practical joke on me, because that’s literally the complete opposite of “perfect tenant”

Unfortunately, it soon became apparent that there was no joke, and this guy was a genuine twit!

WTF? How the fuck is that the perfect tenant? And what was the point of asking me those initial questions when viewing the property if you ignored pretty much everything I requested?

The agent’s response was infuriating:

Her references are great, and she’s a lovely girl.

The Housing Benefit aspect is just a minor detail.

I felt like saying:

You fuck her then!

Of course, the tenant might be perfectly legit, and could even be great.

However, that’s definitely not the point.

The point is, she didn’t fit the description for what I was looking for at all. And the agent knew it. It’s like going into a restaurant and ordering a salad, but being served a steak instead.

Again, the agent got all shirty with me, and genuinely thought he was the victim, because:

  • They already tolerated my “attitude” after I refused to blindly accept their ‘perfect tenant’ (thank God I didn’t)
  • They had reduced their fee, and I was still being an ungrateful little bastard

Paying my local agent for nothing is clearly their business strategy!

The reality is, the council have a backlog of part-time employed, single mothers in receivership of housing benefit that are in deperate need of private accommodation. So if that’s the kind of tenant I was after, I could have gone to my local council and they would be able to toss me one or a million of them my way.

So why the hell would I pay £350 (or any money at all)?

What a fucking joke. These guys are not only scumbags, but I also suspect they’re clinically insane.

Anyways, later today I have to face these ass-weasels because I need to collect the front door keys. That should be fun.

I have no doubt, they’ll probably be sitting there scratching their asses, wondering why the fuck I passed them up on such a great deal. Dumbasses.

Worst service ever.

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10 Comments- Join The Conversation...

Guest Avatar
Jools 4th April, 2009 @ 15:39

Wankers!

1
Guest Avatar
Dan Harrison 4th April, 2009 @ 19:45

I'm not surprised at how bad their services are (and I'm grateful for you telling us your experiences!). I had a friend rent my property for the first 12 months, so I've got it easy for now.

I've had (insanely crap) customer services from 5 different companies recently (CeX, TNT, Apple, PlusNet and Royal Mail) in just 2 weeks. And that's just trying to use their basic services (for things they're supposedly good at!!!).

It's a recession, surely these companies need to realise that bad service can lead to a business going bust, and therefore leading to job losses!!!?? But they really don't understand that. No, really they don't.

2
Guest Avatar
adam 12th September, 2009 @ 17:05

this is the same for tenants....

quick scenario:

I walk into letting agent.
(spikey gelled hair kid stands up)

I said "hello, I am looking to rent a 2 bedroom flat or house from the end of septemeber and my budget is £700 per month."

He's replies (picking up a leaflet)
"We've got a great one here that might be worth you looking at .. it is close to the city centre and in a purpose build block with shared gardens"

I say "ok sounds good - but it says there it's only available from the end of october.."

He says "yes , how does that sound?"

I honestly just walked out..

3
Guest Avatar
damo 19th January, 2010 @ 09:49

why do youwanna rent your place out do you own another property...lucky you...no pets no kids no dhss...PROFETIONALS ONLY....YOUR AS BAD AS THE LETTING AGENTS...you no people arehomeless and desperate for accom in this country and were not all on dhss,but people like you just put up barriers so we cant rent if your on a lower income people like you and the lettings agencys sound like the perfect marridge WOT A SHAME FOR EVERYONE,GO COUNT YOUR MONEY AND STOP WHINGING....

4
The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 19th January, 2010 @ 10:16

Sadly, Damo, it's people like you that make us landlords put up barriers...

5
Guest Avatar
Michael 21st March, 2011 @ 12:12

I've just come across this feed. I am suing my letting agent because they did nothing to look after my property and let the guy wreck it. They even re-housed him and tried to tell me he had done a runner and didn't know where he was. They expected me to write off the debt. I managed to find out from the DSS that he was in another of their properties and they were still in receipt of benefits for him. It has taken me 2 years to get to court. I am owed for lost rent and damage to my property. Be very careful and make sure your agent is affiliated to some kind of regulator. They should only be used to find a tenant for you then do your own checks. I have used 4 agents, large and small and all have been poor. They are happy to take your money but want to do the minimum in return.

6
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ady 3rd November, 2011 @ 18:29

Are you fucking kidding me you are the bigest wanker i have ever come across. you toffee nosed twat i hope your next tenant burns your fucking house down. Don't be a prick and as for a description of a person people like you are the ones that give people descriptions.

I own over 30 homes i rent out for over 20 years and i think you will find as long as you treat your tenant well they will treat you well.

I hate people with small balls yes thats you.

Tell you what i will buy your house and you can go and live on wanker street.

7
Guest Avatar
Missy 3rd May, 2012 @ 13:58

LOL

and a happy New Year.

Oh dear, I don't really have to comment any further. Very funny.

I hate a small 'i' though, does my head in that.

8
Guest Avatar
Paul 4th March, 2013 @ 14:04

Is it JJ FAOX by chance? seems they are the biggest cowboys out there!!

9
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Nemesis 13th July, 2015 @ 13:01

"What a fucking joke. These guys are not only scumbags, but they’re SHIT at their jobs."

Now you know what it's like to deal with scumbags! As a tenant, I have to constantly deal with scumbags... like you.

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