Landlords Are Third Rate Humans And They Should Die Slowly

What a dramatic week, aye, guys?

The catalyst of the drama…

I receive one link from the House Price Crash forum and suddenly it’s like Mars Attacks around this gaff. Albeit, there is no such thing as bad publicity. I just hope some of them (even the ugly ones) convert into regular readers. That would be so bloody awesome!

Why the drama started…

To think, all this bloodshed and tears because I said I don’t like tenants putting gaping holes in walls and because I think My Tenant Lacks Compassion And Has No Soul because he didn’t offer to help me carry a washing machine into my van when he saw I was clearly struggling. Crickey. Admittedly, I still think I’m in the right for disliking tenants putting unnecessarily big holes in the walls (even when I say it out loud, I still can’t believe people thought I was in the wrong for that), and for thinking my tenant is an idiot for not helping, so nothing has really changed *ducks for cover*

Missed the drama?

For those who missed the drama and give a damn, you can catch-up by reading the blog posts linked above. If you’ve scheduled a few hours out of your day to sit bone-idle and scratch your arse, reading the chaos might be a good alternative. However, if you have anything remotely enjoyable to do and/or don’t fancy watching hormonal monkeys aimlessly argue for the sake of arguing, it’s probably not worth it.

Who’s to blame?

To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure if the stampede wasn’t orchestrated by the teen members from over at the Nickelodeon Kids Forum as a joke. HPC may have just been strategically planted as the scapegoat. If that’s the case, I apologise to all the members from over at HPC, and I curse at the Nickelodeon kids! Stupid fucking kids.

It’s just difficult to accept that a group of adults would passionately argue over something so stupid. Heck, I wrote the blog post, I complained about holes in the walls, and even I know how stupid arguing over it is. If I saw someone else’s blog post, “I don’t mind if my tenants puts holes in walls”- not even the last urge in my body would tell me to argue that opinion.

The lows of the drama…

Unfortunately, the arguing in itself wasn’t the low. It was the fact that people made aggressive comments on a subject without reading the facts first. In short, I supplied my tenants with curtain rails, which I did clearly mention. However, the pictures I supplied show the walls WITHOUT curtain rails, so several (yes, literally several) people muttered, “what kind of landlord doesn’t supply curtain rails?” *slaps forehead with a gigantic dildo* It’s really simple, you READ a blog. This isn’t a comic book.

Unbelievably, the situation got even stranger when people transformed the debates onto issues like house prices, inflation, bad bankers, and landlords being responsible for the doom and gloom..etc. Guys, seriously?

I’m not going to spend too much time discussing the individuals that actually tried to get involved in the debate by highlighting my grammatical errors- because they’re probably hated by their own team. However, I do apologise that I used “my friend and me” instead of “my friend and I” – I do see your point, that really did clear up the whole tenant/holes/walls issue. Thank you, you absolute cu*ts.

Forgiveness. Friendship. Love.

It literally was like “Mars Attacks” meets “Planet of the Apes” There was definitely something monkey’ish and absurd about the entire affair. However, I hope we can call truce, let bygones be bygones and sing Kum-ba-yah together. I said some things in the heat of the moment which I shouldn’t have, and I know a lot of you said some unbelievably brain-numbingly stupid things, so let’s just forgive and forget.

Anyhow, to end the week on a high, I’m going to show you guys an email I received during all the commosion:

i hate landlords

i hate the fact that you are the main cause property goes up and are taking away peoples estates and empires just so you can fool yourself into thinking your doing something beneficial in society.

i think your a third rate human

i want to buy a house in a particular area but they are all owned by landlords, i can show this by looking at rightmoves corresponding for sale and to let sections. this makes me really angry. i believe buyers should have the automatic right to buy from greedy evil landlords like yourself.

i hope you wind up dying slowly haunted by all your wrong doings in an endless chain of waking nightmares.

There you have it, the Lord has spoketh. That’s courtesy of a “Mr Brown”

Anyways, as entertaining as this has all been, I hope it’s back to business next week. Hopefully I’ll be able to churn out some useful blog posts. Don’t hold your breath, though.

Hope you all have an enjoyable weekend.

P.s. big shout out to those that supported me through the drama (you all know who you are). I’ve got nothing but love for you thugs.

18 Comments- Join The Conversation...

Guest Avatar
Fredo 17th June, 2011 @ 19:12

Hey Landlord,

I was thinking about posting a link to my blog on the HPC website (I was writing a post about house prices - yes, my blog is quite dull). Basically, I don't have many readers and am a bit desperate!

Part of me wants more people to read the blog, another part doesn't want genuinely interested readers to be put off...
Any suggestions?


The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 17th June, 2011 @ 20:26

Hey Fredo,

If you're desperate to get traffic, write a blog post about house prices going up, and then link to it on HPC. 100% Guaranteed traffic! You'll get swamped with readers and contributors. Granted, they'll all be angry and unpleasant, but it's free traffic by the bucket load nonetheless.

What's the link to your blog? :)

Guest Avatar
Fredo 18th June, 2011 @ 10:08

Hey Landlord,

The link to my blog is :-)

Unfortunately I'm going to blog that house prices are going to go down a little bit - which probably isn't news to anyone. There is a little poll where people can vote what they think is going to happen.

Guest Avatar
Dan Harrison 19th June, 2011 @ 12:51

But I thought you *loved* drama? Especially when you're at the centre of it. :)

I have fairly strong views about trolling retards who like to pick fights without knowing the facts, but I'll save that for another day.


The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 20th June, 2011 @ 08:54

@Fredo, Thanks. I'll have a look through it later this evening :)

@Dan Well, I don't mind drama if it's not completely childish or pointless. But in this case, I genuinely felt people wanted to argue for the sake of arguing, that's when it just became a total waste of time.

P.s. Where the FFFFFFFFF have you been? Everything all good?

Guest Avatar
GillsMan 20th June, 2011 @ 09:10

Just remember Landlord, winning an argument over the Internet is a little bit like winning in the Special Olympics. Yes, you may have won; but just look at who you beat! ;-)

Good stuff as always.

Guest Avatar
Dan Harrison 20th June, 2011 @ 09:29


Been very busy... working flat-out! Things are fine, working on making things even better too.


Guest Avatar
Mike 20th June, 2011 @ 11:30

Hey Landlord,

Yeah, I know, I was one of those who got involved on the response when people started saying being a landlord was immoral (?!?) - which I took to mean "I want to buy a house, and I think the reason i can't is because landlords are driving the prices up. - hence the financial wierdness

Apologies, it ticked one of my "soap box" triggers :)

(Precisely where they think all these people would sleep if they couldn't rent from private landlords I haven't worked out yet....)

Anyway, perhaps a follow on from the above email is this: Do you feel that in the UK people have a very negative attitude towards those who try to make a living for themselves and their families by doing anything other than the standard "go to work, get paid" treadmill? (like many landlords, I do the home to work tango too!) or is this particular brand of hatemongering limited to landlords?

Is it any more greedy to buy a house and let it out for a profit than to buy groceries and sell them in a corner shop or market stall for a profit?


Guest Avatar
Gd78 20th June, 2011 @ 12:32

Hi Landlord,

I've lurked here for a while and love reading your blog I work for a local council in a small lettings team and I wish more landlords were like you. I can totally see where you are coming from though because i've seen some horrendous sites after a tenant has moved out (mainly HB tenants). Anyways keep up the blogging and ignore the playschool crowds.

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 21st June, 2011 @ 10:06

No worries, a lot of people did it :)

In regards to your question. I don't think there's a general disliking towards people that do anything other than "go to work, and get paid"

I think landlords get a particularly bad wrap because housing is a fundamental requirement of life/living, like food, so people think it's unfair that landlords can control the prices of a necessity like that.

But then again, that's the nature of supply and demand. I don't think it's immoral or wrong. I didn't start buying property at the bottom of the market, prices were pretty high. Before I even became a landlord, I never once thought about blaming other investors for making it so difficult to buy. I just thought, "right, i'll have to be more sensible with my money and save a bit more"

The way I see it is, we all have the opportunity to buy and invest- I wasn't given an advantage. Just like we all have the opportunity to learn and become educated. No one is taking away from those rights. If you want it, work for it...

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 21st June, 2011 @ 10:06


Many thanks. Genuinely appreciated :)

Guest Avatar
Landlady 22nd June, 2011 @ 10:07

You might want to inform Mr. Brown, seeing as his cronies are so obsessed with grammatical correctness, that it's ‘you're’ and not ‘your’. Dumbass!

Guest Avatar
Jack 30th June, 2011 @ 11:23

Oh my God. Do not hate them as such. After all they are human.

Guest Avatar
the lurking lawyer 1st August, 2011 @ 07:48

Hi Landlord - just bought my first proper rental property (was already an accidental landlord on my main house because I had to move to Hong Kong with my job)...this website has been really helpful and informative...and written (or is that wrote, probably not) with a sense of humour...which helps. Great job :) Ignore the HPC guys. Oh and if they are reading this....they will be glad to know that I am not contributing to the financial crisis ;) and I am not absorbing the mortgage money that would otherwise have been available to them...because I bought it cash. Altho I am remortgaging next month...

An article on the mortgage lenders who will lend to expats would be pretty useful...

Guest Avatar
Missy 4th May, 2012 @ 11:26


If it wasn't for Landlords and ladies for that matter, we wouldn't have any where to live!

The majority ensure for good reason that their houses are maintained and occupied by good tenants. They regularly buy dilapidated housing do it up, sell it on or rent it out. This is surely a good thing. They not only make money for themselves but for many other industries along the way. I don't like estate agents or letting agents and there are a lot of cock and cockette landlords around however as we can't afford to buy and can't have a shite council house unless you have ten kids or no legs. We'd be up shit street if it weren't for people like The Landlord.

Guest Avatar
Mark 10th February, 2013 @ 15:16

As I see it there is a conflict between landlord and renter/would-be-homeowner, especially in Britain.

The problem is this, in Britain, we have a culture where it is believed that buying a house is a good way to establish a stake in society and one that will mean you own your own home and thus have equity when you retire, so everyone wants to buy their own homes.

Then, along comes the buy-to-let mortgage, which means that it becomes much easier for people to buy houses to rent out, so there is competition between people wanting to buy houses to live in and those wanting to rent them. This benefits landlords and banks significantly more than the average joe who just wants to buy a house to live in. In Germany, where homeownership *was* a lot lower, property values were lower and more controlled and so there wasn't this juxtaposition of opposition and unfair advantage, that may have changed a little in recent years, especially in certain areas, but the point still stands.

Additionally, landlords are basically trying to get rich from the system, doing as little real work as possible. It does seem a little parasitic at best.

If I want to open a cafe, I have to pay rent to a landlord, to pay rates to the government, to pay 20% of the takings to the VAT man. On top of this I have to buy food, and turn it into something people want to eat, and be there to sell it, or pay someone to do this job, any excess is profit and will also be taxed. And I am providing people with convenience through my labour.

If I want to be a landlord, I need money for a deposit, and can then get a mortgage. I don't pay any rates or any council tax, unless I opt to. The house is already there and if someone lives in it, they will tend to maintain it since it's their home. All I need to do is to sit back and watch the money come in, paying a chunk to the bank, and any profit in excess of my tax-deductible mortgage interest, I pay tax on. How often does a landlord have to get off his backside and do something? Most of the money comes from exploiting the system, which people can pretend is *risk*, and admittedly, there is *some* risk, if everyone decided to leave Britain, then house prices would fall, but a lot of people would be in trouble, including probably the world's financial system. Barring any massive change in the status quo, risks are minimal. It is just only open to those who already have money to exploit their advantage by usingthe system.

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graham 24th September, 2016 @ 18:28

I agree with Mr Brown (apart from the slow death) possibly. I can't understand how you can decide you want to drive the costs of housing up . I know several decent younger people trying to get their own home and each time they try some landlord scum better the offer. How you can sleep defines me. But then again landlords have absolutely no morals. They just want to take hard earned money from decent people. And expect them to put up with the rubbish housing you supply. I love it when tenants leave and it costs a fortune to repair.

Guest Avatar
Bob Williams 9th May, 2020 @ 07:17

Well, I do think that it all depends on each person.


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