The Worst Developers To Ever Appear On Property Ladder, And Possibly The Entire Planet
Written by The Landlord on 29 Jul 2009Who watched last night’s (28th July) Property Snakes & Ladders?
Successful entrepreneurs Nigel and Sarah have a romantic notion that they can make a quarter of a million pounds by creating a swanky LA pad in the heart of a run down bit of Rotherhithe, East London.
I don’t usually dedicate individual blog posts to episodes of Property Ladder, but fuck me, it was car crash TV, so keeping my big mouth shut over this shit required too much effort.
It was horrible, it was hideous, truly sickening….and I loved it. Throughout the episode I was waiting for Sarah Beeny to say the entire episode was a sick joke while taking her off top and calling my name. Sorry, what? Anyways..
It had all the signs of a joke- the developers purchased an old sausage factory. They wanted to spend 10k on a fish tank for the bathroom. They wanted to cover the place in purple velvet and leopard skin. Come on, surely, it’s a joke?
Unfortunately, it was never confirmed to be a joke, so I was left watching the darn thing in entire disbelief, with my jaw resting on the ground.
Who remembers this couple? Richard & Isabel…
A few seasons ago I nominated Richard & Isabel as being the worst developers on the entire planet. Well, they’re now being joined by another set of chuckle brothers’, Nigel and Sarah.
As people, they seemed nice enough, but as developers, they were soul destroying individuals. I mean, it’s not that they were completely stupid, they were just completely ignorant. The fact they thought they were all-knowing was beyond cringe worthy. I was on the floor shaking like I had a snake bite, begging for them to stop talking, developing…moving.
They had this very bizarre specific idea of what they wanted from the development. Sadly, I fail to believe the ideas floating around in their heads’ were generated by sane minds. They clearly didn’t understand the industry, and to invest over £1m into something you don’t understand is financial suicide. It was like watching children trying to decorate a doll’s house.
I think my favourite bit was when Beeny suggested splitting the property into 3 flats to minimize loss. Of course, as per, it was a smart, sensible suggestion from the Beeny. Nigel and Sarah went against the idea because apparently, they wouldn’t “enjoy” developing flats over a house. Right, that’s a great reason to defy good business advice…*slaps forehead*
I’m still amazed that people go on Property Ladder and brush Sarah’s advice aside so easily. It makes me wonder if these people have ever watched an episode. A scarier thought would be that these people have watch Property Ladder religiously, but failed to learn a damn thing. If I went onto Property Ladder it would be a pretty mundane episode; I would just say, “What do you think, Sarah? Yes, you’re right, let’s do that, Sarah”, the entire time. Who’s the expect here? I know it’s not me.
Ordinarily I would have flicked that shit over and watched the Antiques Road Show, but there was something unusually intoxicating about watching these two cheese-dildos in action.
Anyways, I’m not going to write a long essay on how terrible these clowns were because I’m more interested on your thoughts about the episode. I rarely remember the specifics of many Property Ladder developments, but I’m pretty sure this one will haunt me for a few good years.
This is what they did wrong:
- 1] They didn’t listen to Beeny
- 2] They set an unrealistic budget
- 3] They bought an overpriced property
- 4] They bought at the peak of the property boom
- 5] They targetted the wrong market
- 6] They stopped development for months
- 7] They catered for their own taste
- 8] They spent money on unnecessary shit, which wouldn’t have added any value
- 9] They got emotionally involved with the development
- 10] They purchased a property which was on the market for 4 years without any hesitation
This is what they did HALF right…
- listened to Beeny about splitting the house into flats, when it was too late (so they only get half a point here)
On a more positive note, it’s a perfect example of how NOT TO develop property. In fact, Sarah Beeny should release the episode as a DVD and title it, “The Developer’s Bible on how NOT to develop property”. I’m sure she’d make a killing.
It’s not too late to watch it
For those that missed it, I urge you to watch it. It’s not too late. Catch it on Channel 4′s website, over here. It’s brilliant!!
Competition
I may as well make a competition out of this. The person that best describes how terrible this couple truly were will win a copy of Sarah Beeny’s latest design book. More details about Sarah Beeny’s new book.
Competition Rules
- Closing date is on August the 8th, Friday.. Winner will be announced on Saturday (9th August 2009)
- The winner will be contacted via the email address they submit when answering the question. Once contacted, the winner will need to supply a postal address.
- You can enter for fun if you don’t want a copy of the book- simply state so when you enter
- Keep your responses on topic- about their development skills. I didn’t think they were nasty or horrible people, so there’s no need to go down that route.
- I’m the jury, I will decide who’s response is the most articulate and comical
GOOD LUCK!!
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14 Comments - join the conversation...
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Man you wasn't kidding. That was terrible. I was thinking OMG the whole through it.
I don't have anything wity or clever to say. But I advice them never to develop again they got all the key principles wrong, even something simple like targeting the wrong market in the wrong area.
I hope they don't give up their day jobs. I suspect they can't afford to now even if they wanted to lol
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It however seemed that they finally woke up to the idea of 3 flats when they where in the shit.... They got the flat done looking nice but secretly they still totally over spent! I mean who buys corian worktops and furniture from Harrods when you know you'll be thousands in debt! It seems utter madness. But atleast it kept to its theme.... I really hope Sarah does a re-visit to see how the other flats turned out.
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While they did seem nice, they were very Peter Andre & Jordan (before the split) and they had as much a clue about property development as Prince Charles does about Gangsta Rap.
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http://www.housepricecrash.co.uk/forum/index.php?s=&showtopic=117429&view=findpost&p=2042850
There is a reasonable chance it was staged. The sausage factory was registered to a 'media loactions company', its use is for commercial purposes.
Have a read of the thread, I think Beeney may have sold us a lemon :(
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She lists herself as having worked for Granada for 7 years.
I hope you don't mind me placing links in this comment, but here was her menu from this weeks Come Dine With Me (for reference):
http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/C/come_dine/four_3.html
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The competition before this is over, and I sent the book to the winner.
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They got it wrong by;
Not taking the advice of experts (Beeny),
getting too personal,
buying ridiculour toys for the penthouse,
aimed the property at the wrong market,
developed the property to enjoy the experience rather than make money...etc etc.
But most importantly, they went against one the golden rules of development by trying to build the best house in the worst area rather the buying the worst house in the best area and improving it.
I'm sure i could think of more.
Long live Property Ladder.
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what surprised me about this whole new series is that having watched most of the previous ones that I didnt recognise or remember hardly any of the people they have featured so far-with the one exception of the guy from Brighton last week-who they left dangling with no resolution.(aaarggh!)
The trouble with telly is that a good success story is never as good as a mighty disaster.
Ive always considered developing property as the thick end of the wedge in property investing-because its where those who are serious about property earn a living.BTL is all very well but quite dull really and not very high on the job satisfaction barometer.
Dealing with moaning tenants and interest rates on a daily basis(YAWN).Whereas, renovations are way more interesting and rewarding.More of a roller coaster ride; fascinating tiring, fun, makes you want to scream (!)and then you want to go do it all over again.(Its a form of madness Im sure).
The trouble with DIY/ property programs is that we tend to forget that it is 'entertainment' and largely fiction-its also cut together to make it look however THEY want.So basically its someones opinion ( producer)-who-probably knows nothing about property.
I was recently considering going on BBC working lunch-a topical 'news' program-or so I thought. It was a couple of months ago when the media got wind of the fact that you can claim back cash on cards and loans-which Im doing personally and have promoted at my networking club.
We went through our IFA to do this and taught people how to do it properly.However, Working lunch were only interested in the negative aspect-the disasters of when it went wrong. Even though I know people who have been brought back from bankruptcy with this-and some who have claimed millions back-yes millions.True.
When I voiced my opinion the producer got all stroppy with me!
That's TV folks- la la land.
Roberta
PS: #landlord- yesterdays Tweets -very amusing.
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A very amusing show. I figure that the extreme developers make good TV but we never see the happy and successful ones as they're too boring.
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Just watched the episode that aired here tonight....to be honest I don't like to see hard working people getting bent over and entered BUT I haven't laughed so much in ages. With Barbie or whatever her name was talking about zebra skins interspersed with shots of her flexing her - possibly - newly aquired chest in the gym; Ken who obvioulsly knows about health food supplements but fuck all about property developing!!! Admitting he was 'boring' but wanted fish tanks, a 3 tonne spa bath and a beautiful deck overlooking....errrrr....the tube line ??? I have to agree I think when someone is interviewed for the programme I think the producers want people who 'know better', lets face it Sarah would be on commission if everyone agreed with her all of the time.....but in this instance I wish Ken and Barbie had listened for their sake but I'm glad they didn't at first anyway !!!
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