15 Reasons Why Estate Agents Are Idiots

Jesus, you're an idiot

I remember recently reading a national survey, which listed estate agents as one of the most hated people amongst society, sitting comfortably below ticket inspectors. Of course, I can’t clarify how reliable the source was, but it sounded about right.

Estate agents notoriously receive a bad wrap (rightly or wrongly so) for being snake-oil parasites that would stab their nan’s for a fiver. I’m not saying I agree, but it’s easy to understand why that’s the general consensus amongst the public after digesting and personally witnessing some of the mindless pranks they’ve pulled in the past.

Below, I’ve compiled a list of reasons why your local estate agent is most likely an idiot. The list is not fictional, every example is based on reality. Now, pay attention…

1] No qualifications required

There’s no real science or mystical theory to why the majority of Estate Agents are spineless, mentally challenged turds. In fact, it’s quite simple- you don’t need a license or go through a training programme to become an Estate Agent, so any old fool off the street without qualifications or experience can set up shop as an Estate Agent (which is often the case). That explains a lot already, doesn’t it?

In fact, I’m convinced the only prerequisite an Estate Agent is required to have is the means to access a polyester suit and a can of Lynx.

2] Consumer protection

Estate Agents are protected from their own stupidity, because as mentioned, there is currently no mandatory regulation.

It’s extremely difficult to claim anything against Estate Agents, unless they do something blatantly illegal. It’s amazing how British consumers have more rights when buying a tin of baked beans than bricks and mortar.

3] The Wanker Mobile

Need I say more?

Estate Agents Drive Shitty Minis

This is taken from the 5 Reasons You Don’t Need To Bitch-Slap An Estate Agent blog post.

4] “This property is extremely popular”

Needless to say, Estate agents aren’t short of a trick or two. One of their favourite being, arranging two viewings to “accidentally” coincide, so the property appears to be in demand. Alternatively, the agent may often get someone from the office to ring while taking a viewing and pretend that someone has just put an offer in.

Buyer beware, idiot with a semi-functioning brain in operation.

5] That house is perfect for you, sir!

Ever seen an estate agent discourage you from a buy simply because it’s not suitable? Me neither. They’ll lie through their teeth in order to encourage a sale, even if they’re trying to flog a pile of shit.

Example:

Hey Mr Estate Agent, is that barn an appropriate living environment for my wife and my newly born child?

Well, let me see; according to my calculations, I get 1.5% of the sale price. So if I worked this out correctly- then YES, it’s a perfect living environment for you and your family

Stupid Landlord Comic

6] The Estate Agents perfect deal

Estate Agents don’t try and get you the best deals; they try and get themselves the best deals. It’s all about the commission. Regardless of whether you’re a buyer or seller, they have tactical methods of trying to exploit anyone at either end of the chain.

If you’re a buyer, the Estate Agent may try and make you pay as much as possible for a property, so their commission is maximized. If you’re a seller, an Estate Agent may try to under value your property, and then quickly buy the property via a “friend” Sounds far-fetched, right? Happens all the damn time.

7] Different planet

They each live on a different planet, and naturally, they rule all.

Typical Estate Agent Comic

8] Time-wasters

Estate Agents love taking it upon themselves to show prospective buyers properties that are completely out of scope from their initial requirements. Why do they do that? It’s usually when they don’t have enough properties in their books that match the brief, so instead of fessing up and saying, “Sorry, we don’t have any properties that match your criteria”, they take their prospects on a bullshit wild goose chase.

Here’s an all-time classic clip from Gavin and Stacy of a stereotypical Estate Agent that’s a total time-waster. It’s funny because it’s true.

9] Estate Agents run their own shop…from their suit jackets

Estate Agents will try and sell you ANYTHING, not just property. I wouldn’t be surprised if an Estate Agent pulled out stainless steel cutlery out of his/her polyester suit in the middle of a viewing, “Madam, this fine set of cutlery would go lovely with this house. I can make you a deal if you buy both today”

Beware of Estate Agents that come baring mortgage deals and home insurance offers. They can also make commission from those extras. They generally don’t offer the best rates, but regularly imply that they do.

10] They hate their own kind

‘Black on Black’ crime was actually inspired by ‘Estate Agent on Estate Agent’ crime.

What chance do we as consumers have if they hate their own kind? I’m not just talking about feuds between rival companies; I’m also talking about in-house war. They backstab each other by taking each others leads. Other peoples’ misery is generally their gain.

11] Flyboarding

Do you often seen those hideous “for sale” and “for let” signs everywhere and think, “How can there be so many houses for sale/for let?”? The reality is, half of them aren’t available, and that’s what is known as “flyboarding”

Estate agents leave those hideous, out-dated signs up as a means of cheap advertising. “Cheap” being the operative word.

False advertising.

12] Turbulent Work Ethic

If the property market is ‘hot’ and there is plenty of demand, Estate Agents are generally performing at their worst. Their level of communication will be at an all time low and they’ll be working by their own schedule.

However, if the market is dead, you may get the best out of them. They’ll probably pop round and drop off some sugar; build some common ground and try to ‘relate’ to you and your problems. It’s pitiful.

13] Mr Know-it-all

When an Estate Agent doesn’t know an answer to your question, don’t expect a confession, nor should you expect a respectable response like, “I’m not entirely sure, but I will find out for you and get back to you”. Strap on your seatbelt and expect a train of verbal bullshit. In most cases, an Estate Agent won’t comprehensively know the in’s and out’s of all the areas they deal in.

Example:

Hey, Mr Estate Agent, what are the local schools like around here?”

errr…well, they’re very good. Yeah, my daughter goes to the one around the corner. Highly recommended. Your children will be safe and well educated there”

The Estate Agent is lying. He doesn’t have a kid. He hasn’t even had sex with a human before, only with bags of money.

Estate Agents Talk Bullshit

This is taken from the 5 Reasons You Don’t Need To Bitch-Slap An Estate Agent blog post.

14] Product of their own environment

When I watch the news and see 3 year old children in war torn countries strapped with semi automatic rifles, I don’t blame the children. They’re just a product of their environment. Similarly, estate agents are mostly just products of their smuggy, self-obsessed and conniving environments.

I don’t really have a point here. I’m just saying, the entire environment is jacked up, so everyone that enters gets contaminated by it.

15] Chinese Whispers

You have to remember, the estate agent is the “middle-man” The problem with having a middle man, especially one that’s dressed as a clown, is that information often falls out of their head, meaning information doesn’t always seamlessly relay as it should. Strange that, innit?

It’s not uncommon for a lot of the lower-end offers to never get delivered to the vendor if the estate agents feels he can make more money from the deal.


Please note, I don’t actually think every Estate Agent out there is dodgy; I just think the majority have committed at least one of the sins above. I have no doubt in my mind that there are a few good men standing.

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403 Comments- join the conversation...

Showing 353 - 403 comments (out of 403)
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dan 8th August, 2014 @ 12:24

why thank you very much for your kind grounding of my emotions George, i dont know what i would have done if i didnt have you looking out for me. rest assured my sleep will be unbroken tonight. also i find ranting quite a turn on but thats just me, i self improve everyday and am still yet to have hairy palms like i was always told! the only self-harm i do is catching my MASSIVE cock in my zipper everyday

PEACE

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Han 19th August, 2014 @ 19:38

I hate to spend too much of my limited time on comments here, but regulations Nd the necessity for qualifications does exist.
If a prospective vendor or landlord does choose an unqualified or regulated agent (normally for the lower fees) then more fool them.

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CheeseWang 22nd August, 2014 @ 11:48

Laughed so hard at this article, because it's entirely true.

FrustratedAgent: stop typing, stop shouting, and listen to the swathes of people who hate your kind. There's a reason.

Estate agents have managed to collectively set the bar so hideously low that anyone dealing with them is screwed from the outset - you can't go anywhere else, because all estate agents are equally useless. There is nothing you can do.

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George Dodgeson. 22nd August, 2014 @ 13:39

If anyone likes to see the cat among the pigeons as 'twere regarding UK housing, just wait while the B of E's interest rates start to rise. I'm predicting it will start around October-November this year(2014). Keep an eye out for rising US rates too. Leaving out London and the home counties (which might as well be a foreign country in this respect), house prices will have to come down like a brick down a well to get sold. The old rules were that no-one should spend in rent/mortgage more per month than they earned per week. In Leeds here, ATM it's twice that.
A lot of people are going to experience a lot of financial pain. EXCEPT people like OAPs who have savings they have had virtually no interest from in four years or so. As these OAPs will go and vote near 100% next May, a timely rise in BOEs rates before the election will not do this government any harm at all.
There are big changes afoot in the UK housing market -- let's see how estate agents cope. They are certainly getting an easy ride in London ATM, but that bubble will burst as sure as the Sun will rise tomorrow morning. Oh, those shrinking house-assets...I see looming negative equity increase on the horizon. This will be another asset-pain for the moneylenders like building societies and banks as the value of their collateral security shrinks. And they can't say they weren't warned! Mike Carney has been telling them in plain english (or canadian) for long enough.
The road back to financial sense is long and hard.

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Clarke_l 23rd August, 2014 @ 07:55

It is funny how agents try to defend themselves by saying 'we are not all the same' etc etc. I had worked for several agents in London in my time and I can honestly say - every agency I ever worked in had numerous underhand and illegal practices taking place everyday. I mean everyday. Most agents are of a low intellect with offices run by power hungry , manipulative people who report to their equally unpleasant and even larger ego inflated bosses. Most agents move from one to the other to the other, dragging their poison with them wherever they go. At times the lawyers and people involved in the transaction were complete idiots and were also horrendous to deal with. I look forward to the day this industry is reformed and there is a proper choice for the consumer. Ah, in fact, I know of a particular individual who is shafting his current employer by doing deals on the side, yet the company is either too stupid or simply is as bent as he is to do anything about it. A final tip - never use the in house mortgage brokers, unless of course you don't mind having all of your personal details shared with the greasy sales team. The perception ins the larger brands are better than the sole traders - I can assure you they are the worst of a bad bunch. Most people are fooled by branding and perception.... A mistake

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George Dodgeson. 23rd August, 2014 @ 09:02

As far as Halifax estate agents are concerned, totally agree with Clarkie above. Whatever government is elected in May 2015, they should make a serious point in reforming the role of estate agents. This should be another nail in the coffin of improper house-lending which is behind this recession, (and still is BTW -- make no mistake, the recession is still with us for some time yet).

To be absolutely fair though, even in Halifax you can find 'reasonable' estate agents who generally are the older-established local agents. Steer well clear of the big nationals (whatever they are calling themselves locally) where all the corruptions exist almost universally that have been discussed here.

If you are a motivated buyer, watch these points:--
1) Try and get a viewing, making an offer, etc. with the vendor personally. There is nothing in law saying you can't try this. Whatever contract the vendor has with the houseowner, you as buyer are NOT part of it. You are free to deal with the vendor directly if he/she will do so. If he/she won't, more fool him/her. If you don't want the property, tell the vendor as diplomatically as poss. then and there. There will be a problem of course with empty properties. Any suggestions out there on this one?
2)This is most important. Try and figure out if the vendor really is motivated to sell the house. I have been surprized at how many so-called vendors don't seem to be bothered whether they sell the house or not.
If you can get to talk to them at the house, a motivated vendor will almost "bounce you in" so he/she can attempt to sell it you. If you are hit by a wall of vagueness and indifference and instructions to "see the agent" -- WALK, and don't go back. There is something fishy there, something you don't want to be involved in, no matter how much you are tempted.
3) Do your homework before you even go and look at the house informally; it saves much time. On such as Rightmove and Zoopla, use the Googlemap and streetview facilities fully to establish THAT location is where you WANT to live, and go even further by checking out the area on foot. Talk to neighbors, shopkeepers, policemen (if you can find one) who will tell you if an area is dodgy. Make full use of the police crime website for that area.
4) Ever wondered why an almost identical house only a mile away from the one in question is half the price? Sit down and think about this one. You will come to only one conclusion. It's the PEOPLE living around there that make the difference. As a buyer, you should look into this one first and foremost before even considering living there at all. Neighbors from Hell?....

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Benji 24th August, 2014 @ 09:20

@George,

"-- make no mistake, the recession is still with us for some time yet."

And-

"B of E's interest rates start to rise. I'm predicting it will start around October-November this year(2014)."

If the former is correct, then your interest rate prediction would be a very strange thing for the MPC to do, they don't share your hope of seeing people in financial pain.

As for your Viz top tips on house buying, you've been trying to buy for at least 6 months, have you bought yet? How much have they gone up while you've been looking?

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George Dodgeson. 24th August, 2014 @ 10:19

Thanks for your interest Benji.
Even though the UK/London is a major international financial hub, our interest rates are still influenced by american rates. As you will know, there is huge "cross-fertilization" between the two countries in terms of investments. So we are not 'in isolation' for bank rates. I think european rates are much less influential. Like it or not, there are political issues here. Look out for any suggestions of american rates rising.

Re. house prices, I am ignoring the London/home counties market as they are in a classic bubble, and all bubbles burst sooner or later, or in this case maybe 'sooner than later' to paraphrase Mr. Carney.
I also ignore "asking prices" as these are at the mercy of vendors and estate agents -- and don't we all know about estate agents! They all try it on with inflated asking prices, and obviously this means nothing. A thing is worth what it will fetch on the market. I learned that in my 20s as a sales manager. THEREFORE I CONCENTRATE ON SOLD-PRICES ONLY. Thank heavens for the land registry releasing sold-prices. Keeps our financial feet on the ground. I have to state, according to the latest sold-prices available (June) I don't yet see any fantastic increases, maybe a slight upswing of a percent or so 'oop north' here. Indeed, in certain parts of north Lancs., some of the sold-prices are ludicrously low. Interestingly, when the land registry sold-prices are examined, it seems about a third are sold without any estate agent being displayed by Rightmove and Zoopla. Some of these prices are so astonishingly low (for properties I'm familiar with) it's getting suspicious. If anyone out there knows why, DO post it...

Re. my own personal housing requirements, as I'm retired, I value peace and quiet above all else, and this is a difficult requirement in the medium-price band. Quoting W.C. Fields, "anyone who hates kids and dogs can't be all bad". Buying a retirement-only property which restricts buyers to over 60 is fine as far as it goes, but when I finally snuff-it, it would be harder to sell for the younger person I leave it to.

I see many parallels between the 1929 US stock market crash which was financed by speculators and moneylenders, and this current ridiculous housing market, again financed by speculation and the moneylenders, and again originating in the US. The only difference now is the housing market being used instead of the stock market. In the UK, the situation is made worse by the huge number of people that have been let into the UK in recent years. They all need somewhere to live...
If I could have made this shorter, I would have. Unf. in-depth analysis is the only way to get at the truth of this situation. Still, this is only my best-guess...

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Benji 24th August, 2014 @ 19:15

@George,

My main issue is with your claim that the recession is still with us for some time yet but still the MPC will raise interest rates in Sept/Oct regardless.

Then people won't be able to service their mortgages, house prices will fall, you will get the house you deserve and there will be financial pain for a lot of other people.

It doesn't make economic sense and is merely wishful thinking on your part.

(BTW, the Governor of the Bank of England is Mark Carney, not Mike Carney.)

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George Dodgeson. 25th August, 2014 @ 08:30

Benji, check back on the 1992 recession and house prices. It was rough then, but house prices had to fall along with the huge interest rates ATT. And many many people lost money via the negative equity route. There's no doubt house prices are ridiculously high ATM, and this inflated house-price situation is undoubtedly caused by ultra-low BOE interest rate. Thusly market forces have been prevented from operating normally. I fully admit ultra low interest rates have their merits, but this diverts too much money into the housing market, leaving too little money for productive investment in business and industry. After all, houses just sit there looking pretty, they don't produce anything. Hence the propensity to become a "bubble" market -- which is precisely what we have in London right now. Just look what happened in London as soon as the Gov's "help to buy" scheme became operational, a tiny trigger to cause this. There was an IMMEDIATE bubble, and in fact many economic pundits warned of this.
Come on folks -- HALF A MILLION POUNDS FOR A COMMONPLACE HOUSE IN LONDON? The writing is on the wall in six-foot high letters here.
This housing misery is with us for a long time yet, mark my words. This isn't the first time, -- it's happened many times in the UK's post war past. We are looking at around 15 years to get out of this mess caused by the moneylenders. Meaning we have several years yet to go.

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Benji 25th August, 2014 @ 09:45

@George,

The high interest rates of the ERM crisis of 1992 are the opposite of the situation we have today.

You are clutching at economic straws of what you hope will happen.

House prices are where they are, rightly or wrongly. Attempting to time the market is a mugs game, particularly if it is for owner occupation.

If you are waiting for the 14%+ rates of 1992 before buying, the Grim Reaper may well beat you to it.

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propertywizzard 25th August, 2014 @ 10:26

Interesting comments, just thought I would add a few interesting notes to this, yes house prices are way to high against earnings and this has been allowed due to the poor control when rates were first dropped to the 0.5%, I was there at the 1989 bubble burst, this cam about because of 1. The end of joint MIRAS (tax for two people on one property) and 2. interest rates went up from 8% to 13% overnight, this on the back of lenders giving 100% loans on the basis there was 25% house inflation, very different to the market we now have, George is quite right to say be warned, Mark Carney made his remarks intentionally to frighten people into getting fixed rate mortgages, because rates will rise, and it wont take much of a rise to send the market into freefall, and the problem now is the mortgage trap, people dont actually qualify for the mortgage they already have, therefore they are in some cases unable to trade down, this has been the reason for a shortage of property in the market place and the reason that prices were pushed even further. I believe the recent restrictions in lending should have been bought in years ago, almost from the moment they came in April the market halved in applicants and the heat came off the market, last month in London 80% of sales were under asking price, a complete change from 3/4 month ago, to penalise current owners for the Governments and Banks complete cock ups would be criminal, so if you are not on a fixed rate, better do it now, even with the get out early penalty its a safer way to protect your home, and dont forget, portable doesn't actually mean portable because they will still insist on a re application to check your financial position....... damage limitation is the name of the game

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George Dodgeson. 25th August, 2014 @ 11:56

"The high interest rates of the ERM crisis of 1992 are the opposite of the situation we have today".
Obviously correct. Funny how the EFFECTS are exactly the same, or will be...Readers can figure out for themselves why. Making people lose money when the bubble bursts after being allowed unrealistic loans is how the previous crisis was tackled. That's one way (i.e. market forces)-- and is political suicide now. But as Mr. Carney et al pointed out, the REAL solution to the housing instability crisis is very simple. Build more houses. As we built in 1939 around 400,000 houses in the UK, this should not be an impossible task. The big problem is political and economic in terms of the price of land where planning consent has been given.

As we shall see what we shall see as time rolls on, I shall make no further comment on this matter.

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Thefinalcomment 25th August, 2014 @ 12:05

In 2008 I sold my house because I had a feeling the property market was about to implode. My predictions were right and my timing was perfect and in anticipation / hope that the interest rates would follow the same as they did in 1992, I agreed to lock in my mortgage with Santander for a 12 month period. They reneged, interest rates went to .5

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Benji 25th August, 2014 @ 13:44

@George,

"As we built in 1939 around 400,000 houses in the UK"

No we didn't, nothing like it.

I don't know if you are getting mixed up with the inter war years or post second war years, but either way we didn't build that many until 1954 (354,000) and the peak in 1968 (400,000+). There was the political will to build then, there isn't now
-not from any party.

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Benji 25th August, 2014 @ 13:48

@TFC,

"In 2008 I sold my house because I had a feeling the property market was about to implode. My predictions were right and my timing was perfect"

The peak was November 2007.

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Miss B Lily 2nd September, 2014 @ 14:20

This is brilliant!

I find the stigma associated with Estate Agents hilarious! I am a 25 year old well educated female from West London. I have been an Estate Agent for four years. My job requires not much skill however I work extremely hard. I make 75K per year and have never made less than this other than my first year in the job when I made £45K. I drive a brand new Mercedes C class. My job has also enabled me to purchase my first property and through my knowledge of the market I was able to make a significant profit within just one year.

So to sum up, I earn more than most 45 year olds, own a not so wanky car and a property that has achieved me capital gain of over £100K and I'm not even 30 years old.

Hmmmm

YES I GUESS WE ARE ALL IDIOTS... ;)

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George Dodgeson. 2nd September, 2014 @ 15:05

Well put Miss Lily. Make hay while the sun shines, one can never forecast tomorrow. I lived in London 1964 to 1966 and realized the place was a giant whirlpool of money. The trick was to grab some as it was passing. Looks like that's exactly what you're doing. The wife and I came back to Yorkshire though, we couldn't stand the poor quality of life, and the relentless unremitting pace from the moment we stuck our feet out of bed in the morning, 'till we got back in around midnight.
It was all about money, money, money 24/7/365.

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The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 2nd September, 2014 @ 15:10

@Miss B Lily
Amazing.

While you kindly dedicated your time explaining to us how much money you make, and how money hungry you are, you forgot to actually address the real issues. The issues which we actually care about, the issues this entire article is about: the ethical behavior of estate agents, or lack thereof.

Instead of telling us why you're a good agent, you gave us a breakdown of your finances and your borderline average C class (that dropped in value by a 3rd the moment you drove it out of the showroom).

Thanks for clarifying the "stigma", by proving to us that all you give a damn about is money.

Well done, genius.

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Genius 2nd September, 2014 @ 16:20

@landlord,

So you wanted @Miss B Lily to discuss the 'real issues' that you 'care about'?

Let's look at people's attempt at doing that shall we: estate agents are 'idiots'... 'smuggy, self obsessed'....'vultures'....'of low intellect'...'dragging their poison around'....

As far as I can see this page just gives people a chance to have a pop at estate agents without, for the most part, any meaningful engagement.

Regards
Another genius

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The Landlord 2nd September, 2014 @ 16:33

I didn't "want" her to discuss anything. But if I had a choice, anything other than how much money she's making.

She basically implied idiots can't make money.

Clearly untrue.

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ghassan 10th September, 2014 @ 11:00

totally agree with the article

I would rather beg in the street than work as estate agent..
Mike and Mark, you are disgusting you should review yourself get some training and do something else
estate agents have no moral values, I have never came across one who is honest, I am a landlord and have family business 25 properties in UK and 4 abroad, since 1990.

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George Dodgeson. 10th September, 2014 @ 12:04

I'm quite surprized "estate agency" isn't better regulated than it is ATM. Along with banking and insurance, we need tighter and tougher regulation of these people.
I've always tried to see both sides of any dispute, and I have to say there actually ARE reasonable estate agents, certainly oop North where I live. It's the balance between those reasonable ones and the outrageously corrupt ones that has gone wrong. I would estimate, on a bulk-of-trade basis, well over half the agents oop North are corrupt. I can also understand if one were to think the ratio is worse in London and the home counties.
Considering the vast amounts of money involved here with "little people" who can ill afford to be fleeced by some estate agents, I'm not only surprized -- but SHOCKED this thing with estate agents has not been dealt with properly by successive governments.
One wonders -- WHY?

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Betty 12th September, 2014 @ 13:06

Just thought I would respond to the comment from Anna about having to give her current address. Have you ever thought about the security aspect? The agent is meeting someone they've never met before at a probably empty property. You wouldn't do the same off a dating website would you? It's happened before. I remember years ago in my local area a young estate agent was raped and murdered at an appointment. Which, can I point out is why they dont meet on evenings when the office is closed and no one knows where you are?

Just wanted to say that. As a tenant myself when looking for a property I understand that viewings are only possible during working hours, it annoys me when I hear other people complaining as they think it's all for marketing and they are being inflexible, but is actually for security. Also be realistic, if you don't get paid past 6 are you really gonna work past it? In any job.

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Betty 12th September, 2014 @ 13:22

Also all these complaints about dodgy agents. Hopefully by the end of this year there should be more legislation in regards to agents to help prevent the dodgy agents. But have you ever thought of doing your homework and ensuring they are ARLA registered?

As a tenant, I always ensure this to be on the safe side as there is an ombudsmen to help in the worst case. Also I've found that the agents that are registered are more likely to play by the rules because of the terms of their membership and if they are found to be doing something dodgy it will void the majorities membership. Looking at the agents I've used in the past the ones I've had issues with have been the ones that aren't arla members.
#justsaying

I think the majority of people here just like to complain, go do something decent with your day like your homework instead of having quite frankly unrealistic expectations.

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Miss B Lily 12th September, 2014 @ 13:56

@Landlord.

This article DOES NOT address any of the "real issues" involved in Estate Agency so lets just get that cleared up. This article has been written by a complete moron who has no REAL knowledge of how this industry works or what is involved.

Whether you like it or not my point was valid. This article calls Estate Agents idiots and yet here I am making a f*@k load of money and not having to do a great deal. What I perhaps should have mentioned was that I also love what I do and take pride in it.

The thing that people REALLY don't like about Estate Agents is the fact that they HAVE to use us. And its pretty much as simple as that. Unfortunately its tough and the sooner people stopped whinging and wining about how bad us big bad wolves are the better. Can you even imagine the crap we have to deal with?? I mean I don't even know where to begin, from racist, greedy landlords to rude and abusive tenants. You have to be pretty thick skinned to put up with some of the people you meet doing this job.

Of course you will meet some Estate Agents that you may not like, the same way might meet a solicitor you don't like or a bus driver but the point is this generalisation is ridiculous and to be quite honest boring. You cant expect to like every restaurant you go to? So why would you expect to like every Estate Agents?

Here's the irony. The main reason I am successful is because people LIKE dealing with me. And the others? Ambition, money hungry, competitive and a big ego.

Oh and here's a tip. If you want to pick the cheapest agent on the high street, don't expect a good service. It's not rocket science.

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Genius 12th September, 2014 @ 15:15

I'm a bit surprised by @ghassan's comments as basically Mike and Mark both said they do things by the book and try not to waste peoples time which prompted @ghassan to label them as disgusting! Goes to show you cant win either way.

The funniest thing is you have landlords on here questioning the moral values of estate agents and slagging them off for their 'money driven' ways but surely being a landlord means that you invest in property purely to make a profit...unless you do it because you really care about people - which I doubt, and this makes you one massive hypocrite!!. Landlords, like agents, vary greatly in quality. Met one who refused to provide a gas safety certificate for his tenants; so shoot the agent for charging a high fee but pretty certain we don't endanger peoples lives!

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George Dodgeson. 12th September, 2014 @ 15:34

I personally don't think "all estate agents are idiots" -- that's not the word I'd use to describe them. All that money they make that they keep bragging about -- where is it coming from? Answer THAT one and you can figure out your own description.

My personal experience with estate agents? Sometimes I feel I'm dealing with Mafiosa.
I'm just an ordinary Joe trying to buy a house. How is it MY responsibility for nasty tenants that won't pay their rent and create dramas by the week,for tenants that trash property, for Rachman landlords who won't maintain their rented-out properties, yet still expect top-dollar etc. etc. ad infinitum?

No folks, in my experience, most estate agents simply get in the way of a sale and slow everything down. Sellers can take some responsibility for that too. Put a sensible price on a house for what it is and where it is if you are a seller and it should all be done and dusted in less than 3 months. If a year's gone by and no sale, there's only one cause. It's too pricey for what and where it is. One thing agents WILL tell you -- the realistic selling price. Best is "Rightmoves/Zoopla's" sold house prices section.

Also, because in my area only ONE estate agent amongst dozens wants my personal details on the 'phone, it's NO WAY! If you come across this sort of thing, down with the 'phone immediate and don't call them again! There's always a possibility of a direct deal with the seller as with on-line agents. YOU as a buyer don't have any contract with agents whatsoever. There's no law says you can't deal direct.

It's a good thing estate agency is going on-line as many of the tricks dodges and scams are not possible the on-line way.

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ghassan 12th September, 2014 @ 15:58

Just wanted to reply to Mr "Genius"..
Trust me, I have been in business for the last 20 years, and no estate agent work by the book!!!

I strongly believe all estate agents are idiots no estate agent have a degree or qualified, he / she wouldn't work as agent otherwise!!
NO estate agent works by the book... I personally would rather beg in the street than work as an agent!!

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Genius 12th September, 2014 @ 16:21

George,
Just for clarification, could you please (in detail) list and explain the tricks, scams and dodges you are referring to and explain to me how on-line estate agency will stop this?

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ghassan 12th September, 2014 @ 16:53

Mr genius. .. There is no honest estate agent goes by the book
the industry is not regulated...
All scammed liers
thanks

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Miss B Lily 12th September, 2014 @ 17:02

@Genius - AMEN..

What I don't understand is what's wrong with being money driven? I mean what successful person out there isn't?

More to the point there is a BIG difference between being money driven and being greedy. Listening to a landlord harp on about how his property is due an extra £100 a month even though its falling to shit or a vendor rejecting an offer because its £5K under the asking price even though the asking price £100K over what its worth. DONT GET ME STARTED.

And I love that classic line "Estate Agents aren't honest"...

MR ESTATE AGENT - "We have a fantastic offer for you. Professional couple at asking price"

MR LANDLORD - "Where are they from?"

MR ESTATE AGENT - "London"

MR LANDLORD - "Nationality?"

MR ESTATE AGENT - "I don't know I haven't asked"

MR LANDLORD - "Well please find out as this is important"

Believe you me, if you knew what we sometimes have to hide, you'd understand.

ESTATE AGENTS DO NOT SET OUT TO RUIN LIVES OR CAUSE PAIN! WE (THE GOOD ONES) WORK HARD, EARN WELL AND HAVE A GOOD TIME ALONG THE WAY. AND GUESS WHAT ELSE WE MAKE PEOPLE MONEY!! WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE USE US? TO MAKE MORE MONEY ON THEIR PROPERTIES, IF YOU HAVE NEVER USED AN ESTATE AGENT THEN YOU HAVE NO PLACE TO JUDGE AND IF YOU HAVE AND WE'VE MADE YOU MONEY THEN YOU'RE A HYPROCRITE.

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Miss B Lily 12th September, 2014 @ 17:28

@Ghassan

Do you just like making ridiculous statements for the sake of it? Your ignorance knows no bounds.

First of all I don't have a degree but my two colleague's both of whom equally as successful as me were privately educated and have degrees. (In fact one has a PHD).

What you must understand is that there are very few jobs out there that pay this well, require minimal intellectual skill (I'm not having that many people actually enjoy jobs that require excel spread sheets and filing reports)and the most important one we have FUN! Do you have any idea how it feels to go into work knowing no day can possibly be the same and because your job doesn't require mind numbingly boring tasks you actually get to enjoy yourself!

My day involves laughing a lot, meeting new people, looking at properties and a small bit of admin. For this I earn more the same as most bankers, solicitors and accountants. For me, its a no brainer.

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Thefinalcomment 12th September, 2014 @ 18:48

To all you negative Nigel's and Natalie's. Stop moaning. No ones listening, no one cares and nothings going to happen anyway. There are good agents and bad agents. The bad agents are divided into three groups. Bad 1: the agent didn't do the job YOU expected. Bad 2: the agent did the job HE expected. Bad 3: the agent went out of his way to screw you over with complete disregard for the law and for his own reputation.

Everyone has a bad experience with a service industr at one time or another. Personally, I feel equally aggrieved with BA, sky and BT. I mean seriously pi55ed off with them. Doesn't mean I create a website and invite all and sundry to vent their frustrations and personal opinions.

Agents are governed by the trading standards office. They are heavy weight but not a hit squad. Anything more serious than a winge at bad service should take legal advice and litigate but you won't / can't.

Finally, if you feel so annoyed, don't use an agent. Do it yourself!

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ghassan 15th September, 2014 @ 08:19

Mr Genius
you make me laugh, agents never go bu the book simply because there is no book to go by!!!
The industry is not regulated, and can do whatever they want.... they are liars, misleading info, doggy and do whatever it takes to sell you a house, their god is the pounds, they drops their pants for it.
no moral values
thank you

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ghassan 15th September, 2014 @ 08:43

@ Miss lily,

I have a PHD in Pharmaceutical, I don't earn money in welling and dealing!! I am in regulations, Pharma companies turn to people like us to regulate their process...

I worked as a pharmacist and Qualified person (QP and RP), proud of saving people lives including yours...

If I have the power and the authority, I will regulate your industry, no more cheating, misleading etc its not about my bad experience which so many of it, its about the interest of the public...

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The Final Comment 15th September, 2014 @ 09:51

@ghassan
You appear to have anger issues probably stemming from the fact that you had to study pharmaceuticals. Your industry is known for corruption and bribery tovthdctunr of billions of pounds. You strong arm chemists and the NHS. Don't preach about working unethically until your own industry is sorted out. If you have a genuine, first hand experience of being treated as per your blogs, name the people and I will deal with them accordingly. I have a feeling you don't and can't. So, who are these unscrupulous agents then? I want names and what they did to you? Well????

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ghassan 15th September, 2014 @ 10:14

@ The Final Comment

thank you, yes I can name one, YOU. who dont even put your name in!!!

I have 25 properties in Edgware road, maida vale, paddington, richmond, kingston, and honslow.... I buy, sale and rent in addition to my role as a consultant in pharma to regulate process.... typically you miss understood! and only want to read what you think is right ( typical agent)!!

I assure you, I never came across one descent, honest agent ever.. so where do I start!!

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Genius 15th September, 2014 @ 10:32

Mr Hassan

I'm afraid @The Final Comment is right.....if you simply tap in the word corruption and pharmaceutical industry into Google it sadly brings up pages of stories about corruption within big drugs companies. Which is worse than our industry given that you are playing with peoples lives.

However, rather than stoop to your level and pick on an industry because I simply don't like it, what I will say is this type of thing happens in nearly all industries from banking to insurance to the legal professions. Anywhere where there are large sums of money to be made you will find corruption - its called greed and its sadly human nature.

For someone so well educated you are criminally narrow minded. I'm not saying all agents are angels, far from it, but you can only base your experiences on agents in the areas you have properties; have you considered agents outside those areas may actually run an honest business?? I'm 32 and I run my branch - I'm taking my last Chartered Surveyor exams next year and I have been an agent for 10 years. In that time I have never had a single complaint to the ombudsman and neither have I ever defrauded anyone out of money or deceived them. I run my office fairly and I'm strict with my staff when they don't adhere to my levels of service - so please don't tar us all with the same brush.

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ghassan 15th September, 2014 @ 13:34

@ Mr Genius

I am not picking up an industry because I don't like it, your industry is not regulated and its obvious people at that industry will abuse the trade, there is no book to work by, no policies etc,

estate agents are lowest white color industry in our society, its the opinion of majority of us.. like the article say which i strongly believe in it, you don't need a degree to be an agent...

so You win...

I can't argue with estate agent !!!
thank you

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London Landlord 15th September, 2014 @ 15:35

Hi
Best article ever....funny but is very true.

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propertywizzard 15th September, 2014 @ 15:58

Oh dear is this whole debate still rumbling on ? I have to correct you Ghassan there is a book by which good agents operate by, and they are provided by the NAEA and ARLA The property Ombudsman, HMRC money laundering, registered for money protection, I could go on, the moral of the story is use a reputable agent, there are many that are accountable, if you don't like the fee's or conditions shop around, And as others have commented there are bad eggs in every industry, I'm glad I'm not a Banker they shaft you then ask to be bailed out, and finally if you are so keen on books being read, maybe you should read your own a little better, for a pharmacist you command of English is appalling ! its a fact not all agents are sharks..... get over it !

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ghassan 15th September, 2014 @ 16:39

@ propertywizzard

thanks, yes.
English is not my first language... its my fourth ..
I speak several languages, and I can say Estate agents are Idiots in four different languages.

None of the books you mentioned are to mainly used to automated the estate agents day to day process, welling and dealing..

thanks

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The final comment 15th September, 2014 @ 19:51

Hassan
Let's get a couple things out the way. As was pointed out earlier, you are clearly an educated person (sorry, I don't know your gender). I chose to use a 'pen name' because I can enjoy that luxury. However upset you are about an industry that has done well by you and vice versa, I suggest that you buy, sell, let and manage your own portfolio without using an agent. Don't say you own 20+ properties and then moan about the agents who helped you get to where you are now.
Whilst you may speak 4 languages, English should be priority, you live in England. Please learn to articulate and spell. This wonderful country allows ease of buying a property.
My career choice (Estate agent) was my choice. I am very good at my job, have a fantastic reputation and enjoy a healthy, loyal and extremely wealthy client base. Please, use an another agent or do it yourself - either way it will allow you to focus your anger issues towards the more serious issues facing us today.

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ghassan 16th September, 2014 @ 06:30

@ final but not yet final comments
typical estate agent personality say something and do
something else hide from the blame, and yet in a none regulated
Industry, of couse u enjoy the luxury. ..i doubt very much it was ur choice..

Yes I have someone to help with my small business
a business I build from heritage money brought from back home

You win Mr estate agent.

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propertywizzard 16th September, 2014 @ 10:44

ghassan ... Oh dear.....as someone else commented, this site really should have a greater purpose other than mindless rants like your own, I speak 3 languages other than my own "so what" what point are you trying to make, it appears you cant write or read English, as you continue to state the industry is not regulated, when my post clearly gave you details as to what good estate agents buy into with self regulation, and my other comment regarding only using an agent who is a member of ARLA or NAEA property ombudsman will give you some recourse, no one forces you to use an unregulated agency, so lets not just have mindless ranting, maybe you can share your experiences as to how you run your own property portfolio, who you register and deposit your tenants deposits with, make a constructive contribution to others that are looking for guidance.

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propertywizzard 16th September, 2014 @ 10:53

The pharmaceutical industry has been name-checked in a new report on corruption in the EU which has put the costs to the economy at a staggering €120bn a year.Despite the promising progress towards reducing petty corruption in general, a number of member states still struggle with risk-prone conditions in the healthcare sector, where incentives to give unofficial payments against differentiated treatment persist," notes the report.... PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULD THROW STONES ....

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The final comment 16th September, 2014 @ 11:36

Hassan
You appear to be making alot of friends here!
I would love to respond to your last angry rant but I actually don't know what you're on about. As I've said previously, you have options and by all means exercise them, and rent your own properties out or sell them and move back 'home'.
It's clients like you that allow agents like us to terminate their instructions and focus on dealing with other, multi-lingual, educated people who are less angry, less resentful and more serious.
That was my Final Comment!

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investor 18th September, 2014 @ 09:54

ha ha ha

we all agree estate agents are bad, but felt this article is a bit offensive!

regards.

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legal Advisers 19th September, 2014 @ 09:44

@Clarke_l

I agree with you, I also worked part time (Weekends mainly) during my uni and experienced the same...

"""
every agency I ever worked in had numerous underhand and illegal practices taking place everyday. I mean everyday. Most agents are of a low intellect with offices run by power hungry , manipulative people who report to their equally unpleasant and even larger ego inflated bosses.
"""

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