15 Reasons Why Estate Agents Are Idiots
Written by The Landlord on 20 Jan 2007
I remember recently reading a national survey, which listed estate agents as one of the most hated people amongst society, sitting comfortably along side ticket inspectors. Of course, I can’t clarify how reliable the source was, but it seemed to sound right.
Estate agents notoriously receive a bad wrap (rightly or wrongly so) for being snake oil parasites that would stab their nan’s for a fiver. I’m not saying I agree, but it’s easy to understand why that’s the general consensus amongst the public after digesting some of the mindless pranks they’ve pulled in the past.
Below, I’ve compiled a list of reasons why your local estate agent is most likely an idiot. The list is not fictional, every example is based on reality. Now, pay attention.
1] No qualifications or regulations
There’s no real science or mystical theory to why Estate Agents are mentally inadequate. In fact, it’s quite simple- the Estate Agent industry in the UK is unlicensed and unregulated, so any old fool off the street without qualifications or experience can set up shop as an Estate Agent (which is often the case). There is no official training or qualification required. That explains a lot already, doesn’t it?
In fact, I’m pretty sure the only prerequisite an Estate Agent is required to have is the means to access a cheap suit.
2] Consumer protection
Estate Agents are generally protected from their own stupidity, because as mentioned, there is currently no regulation. They can get away with being blood sucking vampires and laugh all the way to the bank without carrying fear of prosecution.
It’s extremely difficult to claim anything against Estate Agents, unless they do something blatantly illegal. It’s amazing how British consumers have more rights when buying a tin of soup than bricks and mortar.
3] The Wanker Mobile
Need I say more?
This is taken from the 5 Reasons You Don’t Need To Bitch-Slap An Estate Agent blog post.
4] “This property is really popular”
Estate agents aren’t short of a trick or two. In fact, they have an entire treasure chest full of them, which usually has a Krusty the clown face on it.
One of their favourite tricks is to arrange two viewings to “accidently” coincide, so the property appears to be in demand. Alternatively, the agent may often get someone from the office to ring while taking a viewing and pretend that someone has just put an offer in.
Buyer beware.
5] That house is perfect for you, sir (NOT)
Estate Agent’s will lie through their teeth about every little detail in order to persuade you to sign on the dotted line.
Example:
Hey Mr Estate Agent, is that barn an appropriate living environment for my wife and my newly born child?
Well, let me see; according to my calculations, I get 1.5% of the sale price. So if I worked this out correctly- then YES, it’s a perfect living environment for you and your family
I’ve never heard any Estate Agent say, “No, that would be a bad buy, my friend”, have you?
6] The Estate Agents perfect deal
Estate Agents don’t try and get you the best deals; they try and get themselves the best deals. Again, this relates to the commission based salary. Regardless of whether you’re a buyer or seller, they have tactical methods of trying to exploit anyone at either end of the chain. If you’re a buyer, the Estate Agent may try and make you pay as much as possible for a property, because that has direct impact on how much commission they earn. If you’re a seller, an Estate Agent may try to under value your property, and then quickly buy the property via a “friend” Sounds far-fetched, right? Happens all the damn time.
7] They’re all the same
Estate Agents are all manufactured from the same factory in Taiwan. Cheap, and well presented, but generally broken and malfunctioning. They all step off the production line in a cheap River Island suit, slicked hair, a grease ball personality and an intoxicating aroma of Old Spice.
Oddly enough, they don’t seem to see what we see.
8] Time-wasters
For some reason, Estate Agents take it upon themselves to show the prospective buyer properties that are completely out of scope from the initial requirements. Why do they do that? It’s usually when they don’t have enough properties in their books that match your criteria, so instead of losing a sale they show you random properties, in hope you will bite the bate.
Here’s an all-time classic clip from Gavin and Stacy of a stereotypical Estate Agent that’s a total time-waster. It’s funny as hell because it’s so in touch with reality.
9] Estate Agents run their own shop…from their suit jackets
Estate Agents will try and sell you ANYTHING, not just property. I wouldn’t be surprised if an Estate Agent pulled out stainless steel cutlery out of his/her polyester suit in the middle of a viewing, “Madam, this fine set of cutlery would go lovely with this house. I can make you a deal if you buy both today”
Beware of Estate Agents that come baring mortgage deals and home insurance offers. They can also make commission from those ‘extras’ They generally don’t offer the best rates, but regularly imply that they do.
10] They hate their own kind
‘Black on Black’ crime was actually inspired by ‘Estate Agent on Estate Agent’ crime. They never tell you that part.
Point being, what chance do we as consumers have if they hate their own kind? I’m not just talking about feuds between rival companies; I’m also talking about in-house war. They backstab each other by taking each others leads. Other peoples misery is generally their gain.
11] Flyboarding
A lot of Estate Agents try and cut corners in every possible situation, and their marketing strategy certainly doesn’t escape the trend of being “cheap” A lot of Estate Agents have been known to use a marketing method known as ‘flyboarding’ This refers to putting ‘For Sale’ or ‘Sold’ signs outside of properties that aren’t actually for sale. It’s merely a cheap way of advertising. Not surprising, really.
Additionally, almost all estate agents market properties that aren’t even for sale. They keep old stock in the books just to generate extra enquiries. Then, when a potential buyer enquiries about one of those phantom properties, they try to flog a “similar” property that IS for sale. Deceiving really, innit.
12] Turbulent Work Ethic
If the property market is ‘hot’ and there is plenty of demand, Estate Agents are generally performing at their worst. Their level of communication will be at an all time low and they’ll be working by their own schedule.
However, if the market is dead, you may get the best out of them. They’ll probably pop round and drop off some sugar; build some common ground and try to ‘relate’. It’s pitiful.
13] Mr Know-it-all
When an Estate Agent doesn’t know an answer to your question, don’t expect a confession, nor should you expect a respectable response like, “I’m not entirely sure, but I will find out for you and get back to you”. Strap on your seatbelt and expect a train of verbal bullshit. In most cases, an Estate Agent won’t comprehensively know the in’s and out’s of all the areas they deal in.
Example:
Hey, Mr Estate Agent, what are the local schools like around here?”
errr…well, they’re very good. Yeah, my daughter goes to the one around the corner. Highly recommended. Your children will be safe and well educated there”
The Estate Agent is lying. He doesn’t have a kid. He hasn’t even had sex with a human before, only with bags of money. He lied about having a daughter to strengthen his response- who would lie about having a daughter? Estate Agents.
14] No conscience
If my life depended on trying to find an estate agent with a conscience or finding a unicorn, i’d fancy my chances on the latter.
The reason estate agents can happily go about their daily lives while slaughtering the lives of many is because they have no conscience, therefore feeling guilt is void. I suppose this clarification explains the majority of the list.
15] Chinese Whispers
You have to remember, the estate agent is the “middle-man” The problem with having a middle man, especially one that’s dressed as a clown, is that information often falls out of their head, meaning information doesn’t always seamlessly relay as it should. Strange that, innit?
It’s not uncommon for a lot of the lower-end offers to never get delivered to the vendor if the estate agents feels he can make more money from the deal.
Please note, I don’t actually think every Estate Agent out there is dodgy; I just think the majority have committed at least one of the sins above. I have no doubt in my mind that there are a few good men standing.
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197 Comments - join the conversation...
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As I said in #135, the vendor is our client, they are the paying customer who we look after and it does piss me off that certain companies take 18 year olds from school, beast them into being immoral and give the whole industry a bad name.
My guys are ruthless salesmen. That means in order to do the best job for the customer (ie the seller) they are tenacious, never miss a lead, fully quiz all prospective buyers and encourage the highest offer through whatever means necessary.
This is why we are so succesful.
Until people stop giving companies like Foxtons their properties to sell, then the industry will always be rife with unscrupulous agents giving us all a bad name.
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"It's better to sit and look a fool than open your mouth and confirm it"
Andy
E.A.
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That comment has, as dave p said, made you sound like a t**t. If that was all we do then why:
a) don't all sellers just do that - how hard can it be posting an ad online; or
b) don't we just get a few trained monkeys to sit in the office pressing buttons on keyboards?
Check out my previous posts, I am all for having educated discussions, but you have now made yourself sound like a t**t.
Paul
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Whilst I'm with you on this one, I have re-read all the comments posted by a "simon".
I'm hoping they're not all from you as I want to believe that you, a fellow professional, are in fact a respectable agent - the previous posts sound a bit like you could work for Foxtons.
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I think that there is a perception on this page that unfortunately a lot of people have of Estate Agents. Are they all lying, cheating, slimy gits who are only out to make a buck??? No, they are not. I am truly sorry for some of the experiences that have happened on this page. But you need to understand that you have picked the WRONG Agents to sell your home. Tip - do not use the agent who will charge you the cheapest fee. As with all things, you get what you pay for. In future, I would advise all of you to take some time and phone Estate Agents as 'mystery shoppers' and find THAT agent who will give you time and look after you as an applicant. Selling a house is a 2 way process we need vendors help as much as vendors need our help. If you do your research into the 'right' Estate Agent, listen to their opinions and help them - YOU WILL SELL YOUR HOME.
We are NOT a perfect industry (nothing is) but there are regulations and organisations to help buyers and sellers if things do go wrong.
I have been an Estate Agent for just coming up to 3 years (not a long time) & I can HONESTLY say that this is the best job that I have ever had. Granted, things do go wrong. . . BUT more things do seem to go right. I can pretty much guarantee that everyone will smile when they see a young couple, who are expecting their first baby drive up their new drive to pick up the keys for their first home. Is that the perception of Estate Agents???
There are some S**T Estate Agents out there. But do not 'tar' us with the same brush.
Chin up, :D
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the coming second great recession, will finally drive even more of you greedy and rapacious spivs into utter financial oblivion, rather amusing as you have had a large hand in its creation.
what useful trades will you be able to rely on to see you through the hard times? can you really see your skills being in need in the new economic climate?
bin men have more socially useful and respectful jobs.
your passing will not be mourned!
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www.IHateLettingAgents.com
Enjoy!!
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EAs claiming commissions, not fees they are not entitled to as they didn't sell the property, the owner did privately. This on a sole agency agreement not a sole sellers agreement. They are 2 different contracts. The former is usually tinkered with jargon by the individual agency which is explained in brief and incorrectly at the time of signing. Knowing that it can be twisted after the fact (ours was). One of the reasons why there needs to be serious regulations in the industry.
I think one of the Simons are a troll (I hope).
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and after reading his earlier posts, he sounds scared and angry, with a generous dollop of stupid, delicious!
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Buyers, sellers and EAs need to stop trying to make out EAs are anything other than shop assistants. You can easily gain qualifications and be regulated in any area of sales. The only people who really know (with the obvious exception of those very very few EAs who have the relevant background) about houses are surveyors, who are chartered.
Why do we insist in the UK in over embellishing job titles? If I want my car fixed I want a mechanic, not an automotive service technician. The sooner the law changes in the whole UK to only allow house sales through surveyors the better. In the mean time get real, all you’re doing is buying or selling something expensive and trying to get the highest/lowest price possible.
To end my ramblings, here are a few of my favorite EA experiences, bless ‘em.
1. The EA we waited 30 mins for because she couldn’t find the property.
2. The EA who stood in the kitchen (obviously an extension to anyone remotely human) banged the interior wall and agreed ‘yeah this is just a supporting wall, could easily be pulled down to make a kitchen/diner.
3. Any my favorite, the EA who I bought my house from who had an already massively reduced asking price agreed to an offer of 92k, then 91k, then 90k, until at 85k it got embarrassing and we just went home.
Rather than repeated delusions, people bashing and expletives, how about a few more of your favorite EA/buyer/seller stories?
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I have worked in an estate agency and saw what wen't on...
Secondly I run a property website for which I have to deal with agents and property 'professionals'....
I know what I am talking about and so do you, but come to think of it maybe you don't as you should see some of the stupid questions I get asked from people who are in charge of valuing and selling peoples most expensive assets that could them a lifetime or more to pay off!!!!!!!!
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lol
what a twat
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There is a problem within our industry. A lot of the so called "bigger" agents employ youngsters straight from school / university and expect them to just get on with it. With no offence intended towards young people (we've all been there) you are not mature enough at 18/21 to be completely responsible for looking after someones most expensive life asset (as some of the comments here would suggest). Don't get me wrong I am all for giving people a chance with correct guidance, but it would seem some of the national chains assume if you have a driving license then you can convey a sale.
There is regulation in the industry but nothing to force you to be regulated. There are industry standards, but again, they are not mandatory.
Of course we are out to get the best selling price for the vendor, that is what we are paid to do; and yes, we will do anything within our (legal) powers to dissuade buyer apathy - we work for the vendor NOT the buyer.
Until the day that all engotiators are required to be ARLA or NAEA qualified there will always be idiots giving us a bad name.
And lastly - Jay, I don't suppose you are selling in London are you? If so, contact me and I'll show you how traditional estate agents operate, I would be happy to change your mind of the industry
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I speak to around 50 agents a day and I have to support some of the comments here.
On the other hand, I have come across some really friendly agents that are determined to change the face of EA.
They are hard to find, my advice is to always go with an independent, if possible a new start up, this way they will be egar to give the best possible service to all parties to create a good reputation.
I have heard more horror stories from people that have tried to go private than from people that have had a bad agent.
Check out all the agents in your area and give them all a call, make enquiries on properties and see how they handle you as a 'buyer'.
If they treat you well then they could be the Golden egg amongst many rotten.
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Only trouble sometimes can be that everyone thinks they know better. Sellers think they are the expects and buyers know best!
Everyone keeps saying how well off Estate Agents are and I can not help but think I am missing something as after 10 years in this Industry I would not say I was well off. Like everyone else just struggling to make ends meet month to month and that even without the costs of a family. Having a laugh could I afford children!
I agree there are some 'typical' estate agents out there and I would recommend looking out for a franchise or independant agent who is working for themselves! BEWARE the CORPORATE!!
I promise you there are some of us out there who just want to help and offer a friendly service.
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I run and own my own business and have done so for 10 years. in total, 27 years in estate agency but dealing with the top end of the market. There are some really bad agents out there but then again, there are some pretty horrible buyers and sellers as well.
Various comments above relate to ARLA and NAEA. Both are a complete waste of time. As i am in the industry, i can safely say that they are a complete waste of time. They have no say, no control and any moron estate can join by taking a simple test and then pay these two 'bodies' £200 a year. Just because you are a member, doesnt make you a better agent or a professional agent or a good agent. And to be honest, i wouldnt want to be a member of any associations who'd have estate agents as members!
Some of the other comments above moan about how long their properties were on the market. To be honest, if you were stupid enough to leave the house on the market for two years, then you are as daft as the agent you appointed. You'll know within 4 weeks whether you 've made the right choice and there's always only ever 2 reasons why you r property wont sell......its either the agent or the price. Let us not also forget that we're in a recession, money's hard to borrow and its tough. Common sense must prevail in these situations.
I dont profess to know everything there is to know about agency but i dont take kindly to some idiot sounding off because he was 'done up', misled, misadvised or badly treated by one. Engage brain when it comes to selling or buying property and you might get a result.
If anyone wants advice about buying or selling from someone who's been an agent for 27 years, email me on thefinalcomment@gmail.com and you'll ALWAYS get a straight answer. If i dont know, i'll tell you.
Dont add fuel to the fire of hate towards estate agents...aim it at the bent politicians and civil service morons who process the paperwork at the council offices.
I thank you.
TFC
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TFC
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Any tips on buying repos (corporate sales)?
I believe most EA can't be arsed with them as they only get a pathetic (£25) commission. Is it worth offering them an incentive?
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Thats a great question. i have sold a few repos over the years and estate agents have a 100% duty of care to get the best price fromthe best buyer. Contrary to what you've been told, the commission is much higher than £25. Usually the agent gets only 0.75%, plus VAT, which is crap bearing in mind they have an obligation to advertise the property at least twice in a dedicated advert in the local paper and then again when an offer comes in. The advertising costs are high. There's also the reems of paperwork. Anyway, on the subject of how you buy one.....
There's no secret method. I dont suggest you offer an incentive. Usually there are at least 3 negotiators in an office so you'll have to ensure you have them all covered. The protocol for selling a repo involves submitting ALL offers and viewings in a weekly report. Say the property is on the market for £250,000. Your offer should be under the asking price - so £220,000. Its high enough to report but low enuf that it wont be acceptable. Even if you offered the asking price on day one, they wont agree a deal and then you'll set the benchmark by which all other offers will be based. At the very last minute...THEN you offer just over the asking price. Ensure you have your finance in place. Simply, you wont even be in the running unless you can pay for it. Dont fall for the estate agent's bollox if he says that you HAVE to arrange your finance thru him. Thats nonsense.
Once you agree the deal, have a proper survey and then get a builder in afterwards. At that stage, the estate agent becomes useless. Get your solicitor to write to the bank's solicitor directly and state that your survey and builder have found £???? worth of additional problems and that you want a price reduction and then you'll exchange. The reason why you do it like this is becuase the bank wont want the property back on the market as interest is accruing and the agent wont want to remarket the property either as they will be even more out of pocket. They cant prove that the work doesnt need to be done! See.....
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First of all - the answer i gave was for a grown up. True to my word, i gave an honest answer. I assume we dont live in the Wonderful World of Disney and it doesnt derail anything and i am still a damn good agent. If i were acting for the buyer, thats the advice i would give as part of the service. My agency also represents buyers as well as sellers. I havent advocated lying - all i suggested was to use the tools available to do the best deal. Like or not, the advice i gave was good.
TFC
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Ref the commission, the £25 was a bit TIC. Your 0.75% to the agency would seem to add up though. Your obviously not talking about the bottom end. By the time the negotiator gets their slice there isnt a lot left of a £50000 sale.
Normally I dont go in for gazumping or gazundering but repos are a different kettle of fish I suppose.
In your scenario, even though dealing direct with the vendor, the EA will find out youve screwed them over at the last minute. I assume they would be reluctant to deal with you again in the future.
Final questions. EA are legally bound to pass on all offers but in your experience of the industry, does this always happen?
I can understand why it wouldnt. For e.g someone offering 30% of the asking price.
Or someone with a record of screwing vendors over by gazundering at the last minute.
What % of offers do you estimate are passed on and how do I make sure it is when its not an owner occupier?
TIA
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Personally I dont do gazundering or gazumping on owner occupiers, no concerns doing it to other business'.
Cant see anything wrong in bunging a low paid EA a drink for an out of hours viewing or going the extra mile either.
Anway, thanks for the earlier insight.
Be lucky.
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Yes i've worked in the Estate Agenting bussiness for only 2 years but i am quite wealthy now, all i have to do is show a house around, i'm a blonde woman, i am very smart, i wanted to be a solicitor but i settled for estate agenting cause its faster and pays very good k's; but whatever brings in the bacon, even if we have to sell our conciences.
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Here...pull this one, it has bells on!
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1. Houses that have been under offer for 2 or 3 months, but not shown as under offer and then claiming they have no control over what the property website shows.
2. Trying to get me to view properties that are: a. £40,000 above my max price and then trying to convince me that the seller is open to offers. In my area, nobody is open to that size of drop; b. mid-terraced despite continuously saying they are completely off the agenda for me; c. at least 5 miles outside the area I'm interested in
3. Showing my property to prospective buyers and then lying about issues such as noise ("these properties are built fully-sound proofed" agent had never seen property, walked in 5 mins before buyers and wasn't interested in having a quick look round)
4. Most of the time I conducted the viewings myself, agents only came if I insisted. Although advertising is expensive, I don't think it swallows 1.5% commission on a £275,000 sale, so what else is the agent doing to justify the commission?
5. Sending viewers who didn't know property is purpose built maisonette and have no interest in that type of property.
I'm all for fair representation of an industry, but my experience is with both national chains and independents and I'm afraid I was unimpressed.
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With the money I saved by not using an agent on a deal a couple years ago I bought a new vehicle in cash and went on a nice long vacation. Think about that before foolishly listing with a useless agent:)
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