15 Reasons Why Estate Agents Are Idiots

Jesus, you're an idiot

It can’t just be a coincidence or a conspiracy, can it? There’s definitely a reason why so many of us fantasise about the demise of estate agents.

I recently read the results of a national survey, which listed estate agents as one of the most hated people among society, sitting comfortably below ticket inspectors. I can’t clarify how reliable the source was, but it sounded about right.

I could probably sit here all day and night compiling a list longer than my… for why we all hate estate agents. And I bet you could too. Besides from the fact the majority of them are snake-oil parasites providing below average services for extortionate rates, I can also think of some other compelling reasons to loathe them…

1] No qualifications required

There’s no real science or mystical theory to why the majority of Estate Agents are spineless, mentally challenged turds. In fact, it’s quite simple- you don’t need a license or go through a training programme to become an Estate Agent, so any old fool off the street without qualifications or experience can set up shop as an Estate Agent (which is often the case). That explains a lot already, doesn’t it?

In fact, I’m convinced the only prerequisite an Estate Agent is required to have is the means to access a polyester suit and a can of Lynx.

2] Limited consumer protection

Estate Agents are protected from their own stupidity, because it’s not a hugely regulated industry.

It’s extremely difficult to claim anything against Estate Agents, unless they do something blatantly illegal. It’s amazing how British consumers have more rights when buying a tin of baked beans when compared to spending tens of thousands of pounds on bricks and mortar.

3] The Wanker Mobile

Need I say more?

Estate Agent Car

4] “This property is extremely popular”

Needless to say, Estate agents aren’t short of a trick or two. One of their favourite being, arranging two viewings to “accidentally” coincide, so the property appears to be in demand. Alternatively, the agent may often get someone from the office to ring while taking a viewing and pretend that someone has just put an offer in.

Buyer beware, idiot with a semi-functioning brain in operation.

5] That house is perfect for you, sir!

Ever seen an estate agent discourage you from a buy simply because it’s not suitable? Me neither. They’ll lie through their teeth in order to encourage a sale, even if they’re trying to flog a pile of shit.


Hey Mr Estate Agent, is that barn an appropriate living environment for my wife and my newly born child?

Well, let me see; according to my calculations, I get 1.5% of the sale price. So if I worked this out correctly- then YES, it’s a perfect living environment for you and your family

Stupid Landlord Comic

6] The Estate Agents perfect deal

Estate Agents don’t try and get you the best deals; they try and get themselves the best deals. It’s all about the commission. Regardless of whether you’re a buyer or seller, they have tactical methods of trying to exploit anyone at either end of the chain.

If you’re a buyer, the Estate Agent may try and make you pay as much as possible for a property, so their commission is maximized. If you’re a seller, an Estate Agent may try to under value your property, and then quickly buy the property via a “friend” Sounds far-fetched, right? Happens all the damn time.

7] Different planet

They each live on a different planet, and naturally, they rule all.

Typical Estate Agent Comic

8] Time-wasters

Estate Agents love taking it upon themselves to show prospective buyers properties that are completely out of scope from their initial requirements. Why do they do that? It’s usually when they don’t have enough properties in their books that match the brief, so instead of fessing up and saying, “Sorry, we don’t have any properties that match your criteria”, they take their prospects on a bullshit wild goose chase.

Here’s an all-time classic clip from Gavin and Stacy of a stereotypical Estate Agent that’s a total time-waster. It’s funny because it’s true.

9] Money-grabbing buffoons

The nutritious problem with any competitive commission based job (but especially in this industry), is that the positions get filled with a particular type of idiot; greasy, ruthless and willing to kill for the next buck. They either come that way or eventually get conditioned by the system.

It’s truly a sad state of affairs.

I’d fancy my chances at finding a unicorn before finding an agent that looks after my best interest before their own transparent agenda.

money hungry estate agent

10] They hate their own kind

‘Black on Black’ crime was actually inspired by ‘Estate Agent on Estate Agent’ crime.

What chance do we as consumers have if they hate their own kind? I’m not just talking about feuds between rival companies; I’m also talking about in-house war. They backstab each other by taking each others leads. Other peoples’ misery is generally their gain.

11] Flyboarding

Do you often seen those hideous “for sale” and “for let” signs everywhere and think, “How can there be so many houses for sale/for let?”? The reality is, half of them aren’t available, and that’s what is known as “flyboarding”

Estate agents leave those hideous, out-dated signs up as a means of cheap advertising. “Cheap” being the operative word.

False advertising.

12] Turbulent Work Ethic

If the property market is ‘hot’ and there is plenty of demand, Estate Agents are generally performing at their worst. Their level of communication will be at an all time low and they’ll be working by their own schedule.

However, if the market is dead, you may get the best out of them. They’ll probably pop round and drop off some sugar; build some common ground and try to ‘relate’ to you and your problems. It’s pitiful.

13] Mr Know-it-all

When an Estate Agent doesn’t know an answer to your question, don’t expect a confession, nor should you expect a respectable response like, “I’m not entirely sure, but I will find out for you and get back to you”

No sir, you should strap on your seatbelt and expect a train of verbal bullshit.


Hey, Mr Estate Agent, what are the local schools like around here?”

errr…well, they’re very good. Yeah, my daughter goes to the one around the corner. Highly recommended. Your children will be safe and well educated there”

The Estate Agent is lying. He doesn’t have a kid. He hasn’t even had sex with a human before, only with bags of money.

Estate Agent Lies

14] Ridiculous fees

Most of us have fallen victim to this nonsense; their piss poor service at bullshit prices. But it’s not just their prices that annoy many of us, it’s the way they create imaginative ways of swindling money out of us and then package it to us like they actually believe it’s a fair deal.

Some agents have the audacity to charge vendors even if they don’t sell their property after a certain period of time. While others force vendors to pay as much as 3% when they have merely found a “ready, willing and able buyer” Yes, it’s as ludicrous as it sounds- the fee is still applicable even if the sale doesn’t go through, as long as they find an interested party.

I’m sorry, WHAT? How about I bend over and stretch my arse cheeks wide apart for you, so you can lube me up with your pot of wetlook hair gel, and then get to work on me?

15] Chinese Whispers

You have to remember, the estate agent is the “middle-man” The problem with having a middle man, especially one that’s dressed in an oversized polyester Burtons suit, is that information often falls out of their head, meaning information doesn’t always seamlessly relay as it should. Strange that, innit?

It’s not uncommon for a lot of the lower-end offers to never get delivered to the vendor if the estate agents feels he can make more money from the deal.

Please note, I don’t actually think every Estate Agent out there is an unscrupulous tossor; I just think the majority have committed at least one of the sins above. I have no doubt in my mind that there are a few good men standing, they’re just not as easy to find as the remaining parasites.

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546 Comments- join the conversation...

Showing 496 - 546 comments (out of 546)
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Insider 11th July, 2015 @ 02:37

This post was all true but as the poster stated there are some great agents out there.

Its not a post to tarnish the reputation of realtors its simply a truth about many realtors.


For people looking for a realtor if the realtor has an AOL email address keep walking..Real Estate now requires agents to at least be semi computer proficient because when that assistant gets tired of doing all the MLS work that the agent doesn't want to learn because they are "too busy" and quits congratulations your SOL.

If you can ensure that when the realtor sets up your criteria in the MLS for auto searches ask to see a printout of the criteria being used. Sure he can tweak it later but you may want to ask to see it again on the spot to ensure he doesn't tweak it to be good only for him and not you.

Sooo many agents will pass on homes due to SOC not being 3+ percent. So if the house is 2 percent or 2.5 you wont ever know it existed. As an agent you need to ensure the sale makes you some money but agents want to maximize profits above all else in many cases..

Although all of this is true, without realtors (good and bad) and sales in general our nations wouldn't be great as they are today.

I thank the good realtors out there who deal with the rejection and the stress of keeping a client until the deal closes. Good educated realtors deserve to be paid and I respect them greatly.

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Ben 18th July, 2015 @ 14:56

"Lucy 5th July, 2015 @ 14:17
I have now come to the conclusion that the majority of estate agents around these days do not have a clue how to value property as they all seem to arrive with a fistful of details taken from property comparison websites"

How else do you propose we agents should value your property Lucy? Even Chartered Surveyors employed by mortgage lenders use comparable evidence to place a value on a property. The independent agency I work for also uses comparable square footage, etc as a guide but at the end of the day a property's value is utterly subjective and generally the best/most accurate way to find a price is through comps.

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Matt 18th July, 2015 @ 16:02

Let's be clear, the actual selling of the property (finding a buyer) is easy. However the ignorant homeowner has no idea as to how much time, effort stress and endless phone calls it takes to progress a sale. The national average is 33% of sales agreed fail to exchange contracts, those who say they could sell their house on their own are probably true, but I'd guarantee if you asked them what a restrictive covenant or a statutory declaration is they'd just stare at you blankly.

People forget the after sales service which is where the estate agent actually earns his fee. Those agents who charge you peanuts are generally inexperienced or shit at this part of the job which will cost you on average £1500 in lost fees and months of stress and then in the end disappointment.

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Simon Merlin 22nd July, 2015 @ 15:12

@ Matt, your comment is not entirely correct, most estate agents are totally clueless as to how the legalities of a home move actually work, and most of this 'progressing' to which you refer is actually, meddling, pot stirring and anything other than something constructive to assist the clients and even themselves. Quite frankly an estate agent very rarely 'earns' his fee. 30 years in this business, and I rarely come across an estate agent 'worth their salt'

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Rich 22nd July, 2015 @ 20:41

What agents are doing is providing a service which costs alot of money if you did it yourself. rightmove/ zoopla /office / staff (who aparently do nothing while you ask mundane idiot questions to catch them out at 7pm at night.. ) / newspaper advertsing etc,etc..all this costs money...

People (with brains) are not stupid. Nobody pays for anything in this world unless it has a value....be careful what you wish for as if agents werent around the public would rip you poor little buyers off alot more, as they have no 'name' to protect.

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Simon Merlin 23rd July, 2015 @ 12:42

@Rich, I'm sorry, but that is simply not true. No exaggeration, in 30 years, I have dealt with hundreds of different estate agents, and I have NEVER come across one that hasn't been entirely 'self serving' I'm afraid that the typical 'stereotype' is pretty accurate.

Whatever agents tell you, until they are PROPERLY regulated, properly qualified.............not the worthless NAEA, things will never change.

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Matt 23rd July, 2015 @ 13:17

The stereo type isn't accurate, "hundreds of agents" is probably 2% of agents in business.

I really do detest people who think they are know it alls. So called investors or developers are the worst, their ignorance is embarrassing.

If agents weren't needed there wouldn't be so many around.

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Rich 23rd July, 2015 @ 20:53

Simon, what are you talking about?? Self serving?? There lies the problem. Yhat comment means nothing...i cry for disabled children and war,,,i dont get upset about people trying to earn a living because they werent lucky enough to train as a docter.(yes!! estate agents arent cartoon characters plotting evil,,they are very normal people trying to earn a living...

I dont get upset with a car salesperson for trying to sell me a car? I live in the real world.

Why do you want an estate agent to be qualified anyway?? If you are a seller it will cost you more and if you are buyer,,it would be a conflict of interest to talk to you as you you PAY NOTHING for our service anyway.....

99% of agents across the country (apart from the 1% you read about in the daily mail in london) are just trying to survive on a daily basis because it is over competitive, (which is good for the consumer /bad for the agents).

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Simon Merlin 24th July, 2015 @ 10:16

you ask 'why do you want an estate agent to be qualified' says a lot I'm afraid.
Qualifications and regulations protect the consumer, Estate agents do nothing of the sort, and charge way too much for the service they provide - Remember that I have been in the Industry for nearly 30 years, and yes I am qualified and heavily regulated, heavily insured, have more responsibility and liability in any given matter than ANY estate agent, yet are only able to charge a quarter of the fee an average agent charges - that would be the reason there are SO MANY agents on the high street. Oh, and from my experience, I would trust a second hand car dealer far, far, more than I would an estate agent.

Those are the sorry facts.

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Matt 24th July, 2015 @ 10:28

Simon, please stop. Your ignorance is embarrassing yourself. Agents charge too much for Their services? The average amount per house sale the person will receive is around £200 in the area I work, and that's sometimes 3-5 months worth or work. Would you work for 5 months only to be paid £200? You wouldn't.

So, instead of being an ignorant know it all, Id suggest you learn a lot more about estate agents before commenting on the job they do, as you clearly have no idea.

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Simon Merlin 24th July, 2015 @ 10:33

be honest, how long have you been in the industry?
I have had the displeasure of dealing with agents on a daily basis for 30 years. I would be happy to say I know as much as you, if not more of your undesirable practices.

If that makes me an ignorant know it all, that's still one better than you! :-)

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Matt 24th July, 2015 @ 10:40

I run an office for the nations largest agency group, you've worked "with" agents and not actually an agent. So Id imagine you only scratched the surface as to what the agent does.

It's hilarious that just because people may have worked with agents, or dealt with them countless times they know exactly what an agent does. You don't, that's like me saying I worked with surgeons and know how to perform a heart bypass.

You've embarrassed yourself enough Simon. For yor own sake please stop.

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Simon Merlin 24th July, 2015 @ 11:38

Nope, surgeons are qualified, intelligent and generally have morals.

Bye. :-)

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Matt 24th July, 2015 @ 12:13

There's a good boy. Do as you're told.

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Rich 24th July, 2015 @ 12:51

They are the facts according to you...which mean nothing and are incorrect. Just because i know how many bricks it takes to make a house, does not make me a good estate agent.(which i presume your exams will want me to know) The best agents are proactive sales people.

I know about misleading statements, because as an agent we are not allowed to make them. (Estate Agents Act.) Maybe you should take a leaf out of your own book and stop exaggerating to make a point.

If anything solicitors are the ones to blame in nearly all transactions, as they think they are 'to good' to make a simple phone call and help anyone in the chain.

What we charge and what we make are also two different things.

Avg 20 agents in a town selling 6-7 properties a month (less in winter) = 15k-20k with costs of 15k this is hardly day light robbery.

Retention of staff is the main issue in this industry. Low wages/long hours are not the sort of jobs 'qualified' types are attracted to.

Again, solictors who leave at 5pm and work no weekends are nearer the mark.

No one has any real complaint to fix anyway..the govt. would have changed this years ago if it was actually true.

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Leo D 30th July, 2015 @ 05:14

I can't say if I have to agree with this post but in my opinion, there are good and bad agents in every market. It's somehow good to know your options. Also, estate agents must be doing extraordinarily well too. Move Inn Estates Southall

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Jojes 31st July, 2015 @ 10:56

So true, estates are majority absolute bastards, who care nothing more than themselves and swindling buyers and seller for extra commissions and half the reason why house prices have been artificially inflated.

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Matt 31st July, 2015 @ 11:10

How is it agents fault there's not many sellers and too many buyers which means that prices become inflated?

So many ignorant comments on here.

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Simon Merlin 31st July, 2015 @ 11:19

............and most of them yours Matt! :-)

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Stephen Lewis 2nd August, 2015 @ 09:53

1. There isn't any empirical evidence to value the services of each estate agent. Their performance will follow a normal distribution pattern. 30% add value, 30% lose value, 40% make no difference. If an estate agent adds value they should provide empirical evidence not anecdotal evidence.
2. Each property only needs 1 buyer. The aim of selling is to find the one buyer who is willing to pay the most. Not just any buyer.
3. The offer made for a property is relative to the requirements of the buyer. It is the suitability match with the buyer's requirements that determines the offer made. Unsuitable buyers make unsuitable offers. A buyer who is deducting costs is not a suitable person for the property.
4. Time + patience + more viewings = more offers = more chance of finding the best offer. It's a numbers game. Impatience is your enemy.
5. The family property market is seasonal. Decision time for most families is before and after the summer period when children move school or head off to uni.
6. Offers are no guarantee completion. Offers can be pulled up to exchange of contracts without compensation. Sellers should keep taking further viewings and offers right up until exchange of contracts.
7. When selling, always get the buyer to view the property at least twice before discussing offers. A seller wants a buyer who is committed to the purchase.
8. Half of the value of a property is the location in which it resides. Buyers should spend time investigating locations before they investigate properties.
9. There is no housing crisis. There is an ownership crisis (BTL) and a population crisis (immigration).
10. Anyone under the age of about 40 has not experienced home ownership in an environment where interest rates go up from one year to the next.

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Peter 4th August, 2015 @ 21:31

This is an interesting thread I have stumbled across here , I have had 2 agents in the past week to view a flat I want to sell, and 2 more due tomorrow , I have never sold or bought any property at all in the past and have no clue what so ever how it all works, I have had 2 valuations this week. One said 30 grand one said 35 grand. when my dad who bought it in 2008 had it valued he was told 65 grand if he sold it then.. Is just been fully refurbished , I'm kind of confused at how shit the prices are that they are saying .One actually blamed the influx of immigrants in that area .. what do I do.. who do I get to sell it for me , I just want an honest person to keep me right with the whole thing .I did not realize estate agents were so hated . I really didn't .

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Peter 5th August, 2015 @ 14:22

Update for my post above . My head is totally fried with these estate agents . In 2 days a three valuations , Agent number one (purple bricks Internet agent).. property is in the top band regarding condition Ill sell it in 2 weeks for 35k .. Agent number 2 (local agent, property is is mint condition Ill market it for 65k, (thats a 30 grand rise within 24 hours) then laughs hysterically at the purple bricks valuation above .. Agent number 3 ( A local Agent ), property in mint condition Ill get you 50 grand, I tell him another local agent said 65 grand 3 hours earlier , he said thats irresponsible , .. I had another one booked for tomorrow. I rang to cancel but he started his sales pitch over the phone and said he would put it on the market for 50 grand and could guarantee it would rise to at least 55 grand maybe 60 ...if we let him sell it...MY HEAD IS FRIED ..ANY ADVICE ON OFFER ?

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Property wizzard 5th August, 2015 @ 15:37

My advice is to go on both Zoopla and nethouse price, take a look at the last "sold prices" this will give you an idea as to what has actually been achieved, if no recent sales see what was last sale and on zoopla was, then you can see a chart showing % increase 1,2,3, years etc, interested to see who is right, but have to say if purple brick are that far out, a warning that paying peanuts only gets you monkeys.

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Caro 5th August, 2015 @ 15:52

Hi Peter

Things I would do/consider:

Look at Rightmove's recently sold prices for similar properties in the area, also Land Registry, but make sure to compare like for like. Googling your street/block should bring up current and historic info, scroll down a few pages if necessary.

When meeting agents get a copy of their terms and conditions and fee structures.

Some agents are known to price more realistically than others. Try and find an established agent with an excellent local reputation, who won't undersell the property to get their grabby hands on your cash asap, or who won't overprice just to get you on their books.

Have a look at properties they are currently marketing. Make sure they are on Rightmove - this is crucial. Are their adverts eye-catching - Photos, spelling, etc - who will do the viewings? Who do they see as target market?

Negotiate on fees but cheapest might not be best. Avoid any agents that appear too desperate or say everything you want to hear. Once you sign with an agent you are usually tied in for several weeks.

Best of luck, keep reading around and try to find local info too.


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Caro 5th August, 2015 @ 15:59

Hi Peter

Some Things I would do/consider:

Look at Rightmove's recently sold prices for similar properties in the area, also Land Registry, but make sure to compare like for like. Googling your street/block should bring up current and historic info, scroll down a few pages if necessary.

When meeting agents get a copy of their terms and conditions and fee structures. They should give you a copy when they come out to value.

Some agents are known to price more realistically than others. Try and find an established agent with an excellent local reputation, who won't undersell the property to get their grabby hands on your cash asap, or who won't overprice just to get you on their books. Make sure they are members of the regulatory bodies.

Have a look at properties they are currently marketing. Make sure they are on Rightmove - this is crucial. Are their adverts eye-catching - Photos, spelling, etc - who will do the viewings? Who do they see as target market?

Negotiate on fees but cheapest might not be best. Avoid any agents that appear too desperate or say everything you want to hear. Once you sign with an agent you are usually tied in for several weeks.

Best of luck, keep reading around and try to find local info too.


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Matt 5th August, 2015 @ 16:00

Sold prices are out of date, of course they give you a guide but usually these prices from when they hit land registry were agreed in some cases 4-6 months before they complete, the market is changing monthly and prices in most areas are still rising. Id recommend having an asking price of offers in excess of 65k which leaves it open to receiving offers over your asking price as it says depending on the levels of interest. Best way is to have a launch weekend on a Saturday usually around lunch time, depending on te property have 15/20 minute time slots. To make this work you need a minimum of 2 weeks marketing so your property gets a decent amount of exposure. Oh and make sure your agent is on both zoopla and rightmove. There are agents who dropped zoopla for onthemarket.com which was a massive mistake, and won't reach a wider audience that zoopla gives. Hope this helps.

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Property wizzard 5th August, 2015 @ 16:24

I guess Matt must know the property to be able to give such advice at stick it on at £65.000 which could be too high and therefore no one turns up for the open day !! recent sales + area % increase to see where you stand

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Stacey 5th August, 2015 @ 16:53

Hi Peter, Why don't you give us a call on 01227 463839. We can help you get on the market and discuss your asking price with you. If you don't have one already you'll need at Energy Performance Certificate. We sell these for £65 but you can get them elsewhere too. We'll happily go through everything/any questions you have.
We don't take commission or fixed fees so we're not trying to pull the wool over your eyes on anything, but we're happy to help (free) if you would like it. www.buyandsellprivately.co.uk if you'd prefer to check out our service first.

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Peter 5th August, 2015 @ 16:54

Thank You all for the advice , They all pulled out their proof of recent similar properties in that area ,their was only one though on that street in the past ten years , the others were within 0.5 miles , That property went in 2007 for 52 Thousand. Unsure of the condition of it, this property is mint condition no work needs doing at all recent refurbishment. I am going to say to the 65 grand agent if he will do a contract for 6 weeks and to see if he can sell it within 10 percent of his valuation , see what he says. other than that I will just tell him to advertise it at offers over 50 grand . they use right move and are an established local agent of 25 years so we,ll see how it goes..

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Stacey 5th August, 2015 @ 17:01

Hi Peter,
Why don't you give it a go for free first? If there's no interest then go with the Agent? It could save you quite a bit in fees and there's no risk....
If you'd prefer to go with the other Agent then best of luck - feel free to use our site for any Guides or Advice if you'd like it.

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Peter 5th August, 2015 @ 17:17

Hi Stacey what do you mean give it a go for free first ? give what a go for free ? what site are you talking about ?

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Stacey 5th August, 2015 @ 17:49

Hi Peter, you can sell you property through www.buyandsellprivately.co.uk completely free of Agency services. We've set up a new company to offer an alternative to the Estate Agents out there at the moment.
You can add you property on our website - free of charge (and free of commission when you sell) and get advertised on Rightmove too.

Visit the site to have a look or feel free to give me a call 01227 463839. I'll be running the online chat a bit later this evening (but unfortunately I'm just about to pop out to a valuation so can't meet you now).

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Stacey 5th August, 2015 @ 17:54

sorry I put a typo in there! free of Agency fees! we'll help with any of the services you may require.

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Peter 5th August, 2015 @ 18:12

Hi again Stacey. Very kind of you to show me the site , Ill have a good look at it later .cheers

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Stacey 5th August, 2015 @ 18:35

Hi Peter, I'm back online now and will be for a while. Just start a chat (bottom right of the website's screen) and I'll reply, or email support@buyandsellprivately.co.uk when you're free.

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Benji 6th August, 2015 @ 10:15


These are very low values, below what mainstream lenders will lend on (40-50K minimum value).

I'm guessing properties have sold on your street but they aren't showing on Land Registry.

Find out who regularly does the local property auctions in your town and ask them. You might not like their valuation but at least it will be vaguely honest.

A further indicator for this price bracket is the LHA rate for your property. Work backwards from a 10% yield (or whatever reflects your area). Adjust for condition.

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Benji 6th August, 2015 @ 10:32

If you don't have one already you'll need at Energy Performance Certificate. We sell these for £65 but you can get them elsewhere too.

....for £40

"Honest, fair, unique"?

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Stacey 6th August, 2015 @ 10:53

Hi Benji,
Yes £65 is our price. I think you'll find other providers charge more than £40 when you actually look at the detail, but if you do ever find a provider you'd rather use you're more than welcome too. Simply use your own provider then upload the EPC to your property details on our site. Still free, still honest, still fair and still unique - do you disagree? We just can't promise to beat everyone's price on everything, but based on our research of providers actual final prices we do!

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Benji 7th August, 2015 @ 10:14


£39.99 fixed price EPC inc VAT, any size property.

First hit on google for 'EPC price uk'.

Same price that I pay.

Charge your punters £65 and pocket the difference- nice work if you can get it.

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Will 11th August, 2015 @ 15:01

@SimonMerlin...how many years experience did you say you've got?

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Stacey 18th August, 2015 @ 12:02

Hi Benji,

We published our first Rightmove listing on Friday (14th August) and have already received a full asking price offer (within 2 days) which the vendor has accepted.

The vendor has no commission to pay when they complete, saving him literally thousands of pounds, and we're available to support both the buyer and vendor throughout the process. The asking price was determined by the vendor after receiving four valuations from local Estate Agents as well as commissioning an independent valuation. We supported his asking price proposal based on online research and recent sold prices.

@Benji - he already had an EPC so he didn't need to buy one from us, we offer the service should people require it.

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Benji 18th August, 2015 @ 21:10


The vendor has saved nothing until they complete the sale. They may even have lost money by wasting time.

When you get to 50 completions, people might start to take you seriously.

But my issue was not about your core business, I am not an estate agent and welcome any competition in the sector.

Charging £65 for a £40 product does nothing to engender confidence in your enterprise.

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Stacey 21st August, 2015 @ 10:44

Hi Benji,

Of course we want to try and offer our clients the best rate on all our products. We cannot find any provider which genuinely offers them for £40.

We will certainly let you know when we have 50 completions.

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Owen 26th August, 2015 @ 14:58

All very interesting!
So no other industry charges more than they pay for a product/service...???

It's a basic free market design no?
And as for @simon merlin
They majority of time spent progressing a sale is spent chasing solicitors... Because you all take on average 3 months to progress a sale..... Is this to justify the 1000-1500 fee you charge for a bit of conveyancing???
I bought my first house recently.... Did my own..... Took 3 weeks.....

But as you say we're all incompetent morons who can't write our own name........

If we actually delve into it the person that owns the estate agent.... Absolutely be angry with them as that's who gets the majority of the fee!
I'm a branch manager at an estate agents in Oxford (great market place, lots of competitions)
Even if I'm still in the office at 7.30 speaking to clients, 6.30 in the morning to update an international client or driving countless miles around town to assist my clients move! I make 5% of the fee.
Average fee in Oxford is around £3500 meaning before tax I make 175 quid for a sale.
That's around 4 months work (as soliciters take so long to do their job) meaning for an average house sale and months of helping... I make less than £1.50 per day for each sale...

But I'm a money grabbing little so and so because I don't have a law degree??
I have a degree in business management..... Therefore I manage a business?

Nobody seems to complain when a perfume company charges hundreds of pounds a bottle when it costs pennies to make...
If we're all so awful why do people use us?
I've worked in this industry for around 8 years now involving 60 hour weeks late nights in the office and most estate agents basic salaries are around 12-14k per year....
I expect yours is fairly close to that eh @simonmerlin???

Don't blame the estate agents because your generation ruined he housing market with 100% mortgages and great interest rates???

Let's look at the facts before all the keyboard warriors get involved!

A slightly disgruntled estate agent who regularly bends over backwards and does not spend time with my family and friends because I'm too busy helping my clients....

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Tracy 7th September, 2015 @ 16:18


reading some of the old comments.... I think the dumbest estate agents are in Nottingham...

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Steve Merlin 7th September, 2015 @ 16:25


A conveyancer claiming an estate agent is self-serving?


I've heard it all now. Seriously. All.

That was brilliant. A conveyancer sitting on a high horse, really, that's quite unbelievable, but there he was, right up there.

Come on Simon, leave us your number, and I'll laugh at you down the phone. I beg you.

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Louise 12th September, 2015 @ 12:58

Reading this has actually made me quite sad - yes, there are so many agents out there that fit into this category, but for those who do things legally, are qualified and don't have the regular branded Mini's or Fiat 500's (we completely went outside the box for our branded vehicle), it's actually quite depressing - and not because everything that's been written isn't true (about some of the industry), it's more because they are STILL there and people are STILL paying them to continue having a foothold in the market place.

At the end of the day, if you're using an agent to find you tenants, or to manage your property and you are not happy with them, MOVE AGENCY! It only takes a couple of phone calls!

The problem is, and I'm sure there are plenty of landlords on here that do this, that people STILL employ the terrible agents! If no one did, they wouldn't be there or they'd be losing out to their much better competitors and be forced to change their business model.

It's actually very simple - don't go for the cheapest fee, check who's qualified in the office and always check their client satisfaction stats. Don't just assume that because they have a huge glass fronted office with 140 inch TVs means they're good at what they do - it means they can spend your fee on unnecessary things and might not have the level of client care you need from them as your agent.

When we opened our agency we vowed to be different, and we really are (I'm not just saying it)! We have been nominated, and are/were finalists for 2 awards in our first trading year with 100% satisfaction rate and 5 star reviews from all our clients that have left them - this is completely up to date. We're either qualified or studying to do the qualifications (ARLA and NAEA), keep up to date with the law and legislation, have a marketing team to make sure all property is marketed in the very best light and are very picky with those who we look to employ.

Anyway, enough of me rambling!

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Iain 19th September, 2015 @ 14:27

Oh, reading this has really brightened up my day :) especially @Simon Merlin, who being a solicitor ( may have a law degree, many conveyancers don't) is actually the cause of most of the hate which gets aimed at estate agents - solicitors f**k up the sale through their incompetence, take too long, go on holiday, don't know what they're doing, insist on never phoning the other side but sending a f***ing letter!

But, at the end of the day the agents get blamed!

As to valuing houses - the vendor tells us what they want to sell for, we advise them on what we think is realistic - they tell us what they need to achieve to make a move work - our job is to try and achieve that - anyone who thinks that a property is on the market for what an agent values it at is an idiot...

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Nathalie 26th September, 2015 @ 08:12

Wow! The article has me giggling with a quiet morbid fascination. I feel as though someone went into my head and typed up 90% of what are my personal thoughts. Unfortunately, mortgage advisors are way worse. As visitor that will be in this country for 3-4 years....I have never come across such incompetence by mortgage advisors ever. One even made off with 275 GBP of my money only to left me with absolutely no mortgage when I finally found a house.

It's sad to see that if this article and the comments are true about estate agents in this country, makes things just really sad. In the U.S., they have to go through courses and then pass a board to be able to be an agent. Then you have specific buyer's and seller's agents. The buyer's agent does the real work in my opinion. My realtor/estate agent showed me 107 houses (bungalows) over a 2 month period. She was the most awesome agent there was. I get lost real easily. So I would meet her at a specific location and she would drive me around to see about 4-5 houses per visit. She would send me a list of properties, and I would pick out the ones I wanted to see. One of the first houses I saw with a pool, I was ready to make my offer. She asked me if I was going to take care of the pool. I told her no. She told me, to forget about buying the property, as she owns a house with a pool, and that is at least 20-30% of the property value. And if I don't take care of it (which she explained all the work that goes into it), then I am just wasting my money. She further told me, if I want a pool so bad, I am invited to come to her house to use her pool. There was another house that she showed me, that I fell in love with the garden bathtub. It was made of marble....it has been the best bathtub that I have ever seen. I was in love. I was ready to put my offer in. She told me, you are NOT buying this house. It has been broken into twice, and as you are a single woman living by yourself, I would not want to be watching it on the news that you have been a victim. ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN houses later....and me being a freaking incompetent prima donna.... that estate agent bless her soul was a freaking angel here on planet Earth to save me from my idiocity at the age of 28. I got a totally gorgeous house (which I almost lost because I was playing hard ball....this wonderful angel that saw me through 107 houses over 2 months of me waling and moaning.....then further put up with my rubbish attitude when the negotiations weren't going quickly enough....I told her to shove it and that I was done with her....all this and she didn't even force me to sign a contract- which is typical of the realtors/estate agents until I sign the damn contract to buy.....no one would put up with the rubbish I put that lady through). When it was said and done, she only made 3% on a house I bought for US$112,000 (which the seller paid). That small amount of money was not worth all the hell she went through with me. I lost my keys or got locked a few times...and she is the first person I called to come jimmy the lock and get me into my house. When my mom came o visit me 6 months post me buying the house, she treated both my mom and I to lunch. We remained friends for 7 years after I bought my house until she moved out of the state. So, coming here to England....my battle has been with mortgage advisors....because no use looking at properties if I am not able to buy them. I have looked at a few properties. And I have to say...William H. B estate agent where I am....is absolutely the worst piece of rubbish there is. After owning my own home (which is now being rented/letted in the U.S) for 8 years prior to moving (now own it 9 years) which is a mansion 1700 sq ft(for US$112,000 or almost 73,000 GBP) and coming to the tiny little bungalows over here for 140,000 GBP for under 600 sq ft (my master bedroom in Texas would fit the whole house here in England) it is just a shock that I am dumping 1300 GBP on rent and in a sleepy little town because I am a visitor and can't get a freaking mortgage when my annual salary is 52,000 GBP. Anyway...I guess my ramble does not even support this article....Because, apart from one dirty scoundrel estate agent, I had one really motivated one (that was phenomenal)....and I met a few others that didn't seem to care either way. The one rotten one was a massive slap in the face after knowing what great service I got from my awesome one that showed me 107 houses and actually cared about me and the house I got more than the commission she was making. And that is a fact.

Hmm, the solicitors I got seem to be worth their grain....in that the no good estate agent sat on her fanny and did nothing when I was trying to move in by the end of November last year in the property that the seller/vendor agreed to sell me. Needless to say, 10 days later and I heard nothing from that little turd. I had never had the pleasure of meeting her...because she was too good to show up to the appointments to show me the property. The solicitor (conveyor) was the one who I asked what was going on. He found out that the vendor did not plan to move out before CHRISTMAS! So I walked!

Write an article on mortgage advisors and I will tel you how worthless they are. Stupid punks.

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Nick 28th September, 2015 @ 15:08

I'm still trying to work out how Stacey and her website make any money. It doesn't mention costs of any sort anywhere. Fair enough there may be a slight markup for arranging EPC's etc, but unless the buyer is paying by Tender I'm unsure?

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HousingCrisisUK 1st October, 2015 @ 16:57

I've met many EA's over the years, mainly in London, and they're not really a bad bunch - some are unscrupulous, but they're only trying to make a living.
However there are some serious problems with housing in the UK -
1. 75% of MP's are private landlords, so there is not a single chance in the BTL market being reformed. Every time someone who already owns a house buys another one they don't actually need, they've just taken one away that a FTB could have bought. This is simple economics and why housing generally is in total crisis in the UK. People buying extra houses for themselves, for profit reasons, pushes prices up and restricts supply permanently.
2. We need a government that cares about all people, not just people that vote for them. Sounds naive, but until this happens we will get what we deserve - an Emperors New Clothes property market, no new council houses/ "build to rent" schemes and a whole generation of people who will never own and/or are being ripped off by Estate Agents/ Buy to Let landlords.
3. There needs to be firm Rent Controls, especially in London. Don't believe me? Do the maths, in 4 or 5 years time a 3 bed house will be 2.2K pcm to rent and that is totally unsustainable. Not to mention immoral. And that is why Estate Agents have such a bad reputation, because they bury their head in the sand about the direct and indirect human misery their commission chasing has caused for years. Local Housing Allowance + 20% would be a reasonable level. It should also be illegal for agents/ landlords to to advertise "no DSS". That's just discrimination and needs to be stopped.
4. The taxation system needs reforming, to maximise CGT for the the country (not minimise it for payors) and ringfence this money for build to rent schemes like in Germany. It should be linked to your income tax rate, like it used to be, with no exemption band.
5. The whole banking system and Estate Agency sector needs radical reform. Don't believe me? These two intertwined systems, that serve only rich people at the expense of the poor, have been responsible for bringing this country to a crisis point. If you voted Tory at the last 2 elections then you too are responsible for the pain so many other people (i.e. not you or your family, but still other human beings) suffer while you count your money and houses. The country can't take another recession/ housing crash, but they are inevitable and reform will then be critical...

I leave you with an apology for going on so long, am passionate about this stuff as I work for a homelessness charity, but also with a quick story which sums it all up for me. Recently I spoke to an agent, who once I told them I wasn't interested in a property I'd viewed really let their guard down and spoke "off the record". He said he was looking for property himself and the cheapest in his area were studio flats in Cricklewood going for £400K. When I asked what he thought they REALLY should be on the market for, he said £150K. This was the exact figure I had in mind too, and there you have the problem in a nutshell. Property is 50% overvalued, a few people are doing really well out of this fact and don't care about anyone else, and until significant reform along some of the lines above happens, then we do have a huge housing crisis. Estate Agents would improve the perception of them as an industry if they admitted and understood their integral role in this crisis and the amount of pain they cause ordinary people...


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