15 Reasons Why Estate Agents Are Idiots

Jesus, you're an idiot

It can’t just be a coincidence or a conspiracy, can it? There’s definitely a reason why so many of us fantasise about the demise of estate agents.

I recently read the results of a national survey, which listed estate agents as one of the most hated people among society, sitting comfortably below ticket inspectors. I can’t clarify how reliable the source was, but it sounded about right.

I could probably sit here all day and night compiling a list longer than my… for why we all hate estate agents. And I bet you could too. Besides from the fact the majority of them are snake-oil parasites providing below average services for extortionate rates, I can also think of some other compelling reasons to loathe them…

1] No qualifications required

There’s no real science or mystical theory to why the majority of Estate Agents are spineless, mentally challenged turds. In fact, it’s quite simple- you don’t need a license or go through a training programme to become an Estate Agent, so any old fool off the street without qualifications or experience can set up shop as an Estate Agent (which is often the case). That explains a lot already, doesn’t it?

In fact, I’m convinced the only prerequisite an Estate Agent is required to have is the means to access a polyester suit and a can of Lynx.

2] Limited consumer protection

Estate Agents are protected from their own stupidity, because it’s not a hugely regulated industry.

It’s extremely difficult to claim anything against Estate Agents, unless they do something blatantly illegal. It’s amazing how British consumers have more rights when buying a tin of baked beans when compared to spending tens of thousands of pounds on bricks and mortar.

3] The Wanker Mobile

Need I say more?

Estate Agent Car

4] “This property is extremely popular”

Needless to say, Estate agents aren’t short of a trick or two. One of their favourite being, arranging two viewings to “accidentally” coincide, so the property appears to be in demand. Alternatively, the agent may often get someone from the office to ring while taking a viewing and pretend that someone has just put an offer in.

Buyer beware, idiot with a semi-functioning brain in operation.

5] That house is perfect for you, sir!

Ever seen an estate agent discourage you from a buy simply because it’s not suitable? Me neither. They’ll lie through their teeth in order to encourage a sale, even if they’re trying to flog a pile of shit.


Hey Mr Estate Agent, is that barn an appropriate living environment for my wife and my newly born child?

Well, let me see; according to my calculations, I get 1.5% of the sale price. So if I worked this out correctly- then YES, it’s a perfect living environment for you and your family

Stupid Landlord Comic

6] The Estate Agents perfect deal

Estate Agents don’t try and get you the best deals; they try and get themselves the best deals. It’s all about the commission. Regardless of whether you’re a buyer or seller, they have tactical methods of trying to exploit anyone at either end of the chain.

If you’re a buyer, the Estate Agent may try and make you pay as much as possible for a property, so their commission is maximized. If you’re a seller, an Estate Agent may try to under value your property, and then quickly buy the property via a “friend” Sounds far-fetched, right? Happens all the damn time.

7] Different planet

They each live on a different planet, and naturally, they rule all.

Typical Estate Agent Comic

8] Time-wasters

Estate Agents love taking it upon themselves to show prospective buyers properties that are completely out of scope from their initial requirements. Why do they do that? It’s usually when they don’t have enough properties in their books that match the brief, so instead of fessing up and saying, “Sorry, we don’t have any properties that match your criteria”, they take their prospects on a bullshit wild goose chase.

Here’s an all-time classic clip from Gavin and Stacy of a stereotypical Estate Agent that’s a total time-waster. It’s funny because it’s true.

9] Money-grabbing buffoons

The nutritious problem with any competitive commission based job (but especially in this industry), is that the positions get filled with a particular type of idiot; greasy, ruthless and willing to kill for the next buck. They either come that way or eventually get conditioned by the system.

It’s truly a sad state of affairs.

I’d fancy my chances at finding a unicorn before finding an agent that looks after my best interest before their own transparent agenda.

money hungry estate agent

10] They hate their own kind

‘Black on Black’ crime was actually inspired by ‘Estate Agent on Estate Agent’ crime.

What chance do we as consumers have if they hate their own kind? I’m not just talking about feuds between rival companies; I’m also talking about in-house war. They backstab each other by taking each others leads. Other peoples’ misery is generally their gain.

11] Flyboarding

Do you often seen those hideous “for sale” and “for let” signs everywhere and think, “How can there be so many houses for sale/for let?”? The reality is, half of them aren’t available, and that’s what is known as “flyboarding”

Estate agents leave those hideous, out-dated signs up as a means of cheap advertising. “Cheap” being the operative word.

False advertising.

12] Turbulent Work Ethic

If the property market is ‘hot’ and there is plenty of demand, Estate Agents are generally performing at their worst. Their level of communication will be at an all time low and they’ll be working by their own schedule.

However, if the market is dead, you may get the best out of them. They’ll probably pop round and drop off some sugar; build some common ground and try to ‘relate’ to you and your problems. It’s pitiful.

13] Mr Know-it-all

When an Estate Agent doesn’t know an answer to your question, don’t expect a confession, nor should you expect a respectable response like, “I’m not entirely sure, but I will find out for you and get back to you”

No sir, you should strap on your seatbelt and expect a train of verbal bullshit.


Hey, Mr Estate Agent, what are the local schools like around here?”

errr…well, they’re very good. Yeah, my daughter goes to the one around the corner. Highly recommended. Your children will be safe and well educated there”

The Estate Agent is lying. He doesn’t have a kid. He hasn’t even had sex with a human before, only with bags of money.

Estate Agent Lies

14] Ridiculous fees

Most of us have fallen victim to this nonsense; their piss poor service at bullshit prices. But it’s not just their prices that annoy many of us, it’s the way they create imaginative ways of swindling money out of us and then package it to us like they actually believe it’s a fair deal.

Some agents have the audacity to charge vendors even if they don’t sell their property after a certain period of time. While others force vendors to pay as much as 3% when they have merely found a “ready, willing and able buyer” Yes, it’s as ludicrous as it sounds- the fee is still applicable even if the sale doesn’t go through, as long as they find an interested party.

I’m sorry, WHAT? How about I bend over and stretch my arse cheeks wide apart for you, so you can lube me up with your pot of wetlook hair gel, and then get to work on me?

15] Chinese Whispers

You have to remember, the estate agent is the “middle-man” The problem with having a middle man, especially one that’s dressed in an oversized polyester Burtons suit, is that information often falls out of their head, meaning information doesn’t always seamlessly relay as it should. Strange that, innit?

It’s not uncommon for a lot of the lower-end offers to never get delivered to the vendor if the estate agents feels he can make more money from the deal.

Please note, I don’t actually think every Estate Agent out there is an unscrupulous tossor; I just think the majority have committed at least one of the sins above. I have no doubt in my mind that there are a few good men standing, they’re just not as easy to find as the remaining parasites.

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494 Comments- join the conversation...

Showing 444 - 494 comments (out of 494)
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George Dodgeson. 1st November, 2014 @ 11:31

A good tip for those wanting to buy a property, but are inexperienced.

The seller of a property uses an estate AGENT to sell it, so why don't you use a BUYING agent to buy it?

The seller of a property remains unknown to you as a buyer, and this way, the buyer remains unknown to the seller in the same way.

The moderate amount of money you pay to a buying agent could save lots more money later, perhaps when it's too late. It would be a kind of "insurance". You get all your agent's expertise about the selling agent's reputation in the report. So long as you don't reveal your name, address etc. you can view the property along with your agent.

It goes without saying the buying agent would not have to be a selling estate agent himself, so that would have to be checked out thoroughly.

Start the ball rolling by Googling "house buying agent"

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Candice D. Ashtal 1st November, 2014 @ 12:16

George really? Still at it... I'm still waiting for your e-mail. I proved I'm not a fraud, now it's your turn...

Thanks BA Law for pointing out the obvious, it would appear everyone else on this page has their own agenda with no sense of reason. For goodness sake people take your blinkers off. Get property advice from the agents your friends refer you to, they obviously had good dealings with these agents, and so will you.

There are bad people in every profession, bad surgeons bury their dead, that does not make the entire medical profession bad. I have studied property arbitration, and most of the time problems are with buyers and sellers, who blame agents, because they do not want to take responsibility for their own actions.

Anyway, I've have had enough of the stupidity on this page. Good Luck, lots of smiles and happy sales guys. And yes if your agent behaves unethically, fire him, report him, get him out of the industry, they give the rest of us a bad name. Remember we are also entitled to fire sellers and buyers, who are rebels, liars, arrogant, and know it all... After all if you know it all you don't need the services of an estate agent, you can do the job yourself.

Take Care

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George Dodgeson. 1st November, 2014 @ 14:39

That's your i/net for you. Full of hecklers with nothing to say -- but they still insist on saying it.

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Captain 1st November, 2014 @ 15:00

Surely a buyers agent would do everything they can to ensure you win the bidding in order to secure themselves a commission also. Why no hate George?

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George Dodgeson. 1st November, 2014 @ 19:36

I've just been reading about London estate agents who not only demand a fee from the seller as usual, but actually want a similar fee from the buyer AS WELL!

Is there no end to the avarice we are seeing from esate agents? Sooner or later buyers just won't have the money to pay all these demands, and this wierd bubble will burst (again).

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Captain 3rd November, 2014 @ 13:38

George where did you read this? Interesting concept. Might try and adopt it as you hate us all so much. Double the commissions W00P.

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P Hulter 3rd November, 2014 @ 18:48

If you deal with enough estate agents you will always find a bad one, in just the same way that if you deal with enough landlords you will always find bad ones and if you deal with tenants you will always come across bad ones. Unfortunately none of these groups can be regulated out of existence, we can just have redress schemes for when things go wrong (perhaps there should be redress schemes against rogue landlords or bad tenants too?).

However, the big difference is that you have a choice whether you use a bad estate agent. You have a choice to make sure that you minimise the risk of choosing a bad agent by going with an established, regulated, recommended, value for money agent.

Please Note: value for money rarely means cheapest and particularly if quality is one of your criteria for value for money. as long as there are bad landlords, there will be bad agents to meet their needs and desires at the lowest cost.

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Captain 4th November, 2014 @ 11:40

For the record, if you are choosing an estate agent in the UK, I would always recommend using the website allAgents dot co dot uk. Honest reviews and feedback, should help you make a decision.

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George Dodgeson. 7th November, 2014 @ 13:16

F.A.O. Benji:--

I have to revise my prediction on the future of UK bank rate. I thought deflation was just a blip, but it's beginning to look like deflation is much more serious than I thought.
Several european countries are in deflation right now, (as has been Japan for many years) with northern europe and the UK getting very close to deflation. We are seeing petrol/diesel prices considerably lower, and as around two thirds of petrol/diesel prices in UK being tax, one needs to double the fall %-age to get a true figure. This has nothing to do with gas prices falling due to american fracking as almost no-one runs their car on CNG. Anyone remember the 1973 IN-flation in oil prices and what it did?

If down-spiralling deflation DOES take hold in UK. be prepared to see frozen wages, falling asset and commodity prices (housing is an 'asset', and very much so) and more economic stagnation as people put off buying, expecting prices to fall soon.

Winners in deflation: Anyone with liquid capital. Despite very poor interest rates, your banked money is now increasing in value, and you pay no tax on this.

Losers in deflation: Anyone with a loan. The value/cost of your loan rises with deflation, and you have to pay it back with tight money.

So... virtually certain no increase in bank rate before May election (increasing bank rate would accelerate deflation). And after the election? Wouldn't bet money on it even then. It could depend on what the germans do in the near future. Carney's bank rate prediction was the wrong way round, he said "expect BOE interest rate to rise SOONER rather than LATER. It's going to rise later rather than sooner in fact.

As usual the politicians are keeping pretty quiet about this.

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Benji 7th November, 2014 @ 18:03

@George Dodgeson,

"Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future."

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Captain 10th November, 2014 @ 10:08


Lets hope we leave the EU then.

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Jonny 11th November, 2014 @ 03:36

Im fresh to the industry, only been working as an estate agent for 6months, and im already sick to death of peoples completely misguided opinion of us. I cannot believe how rude people can be to you. The whole article is deluded as are some of the comments on here.

Theres a constant stream of rude and difficult buyers, who seem to think they know everything. Sell a house over the weekend, receive a call on the monday morning inquiring about it, "sorry its under offer, let me take your details and ill let you know if anything happens to it or if we get a similar property on" do you think that the guy who said NO ill do that myself on rightmove, or the guy that said thanks ever so much that would be great got the property down the street which came on the market as well?

Lets say ive got 20 applicants for a new house and i can do 10 viewings on the Saturday, the only day the vendor is there, and he wont give us a key. 50% of those applicants are rude to me, and evasive of my questions. "How are you financing the move?", "You dont need to know that, all you need to know is that im good for it". The other 50% are pleasant and compliant, "oh im using Santander, ive got a certificate to prove it etc etc". Which 50% do you think im going to try and get into those 10 viewing slots?

Then theres this suspicion that im trying to stitch you up at every given moment. Why would i ring you about a property if i didnt think you might potentially buy it. #1 Im wasting my time on the phone / #2 I have to drive to the viewing wasting my time and petrol / #3 You'll be less inclined to listen to me again when i recommend a house

And finally, this delusion that estate agents shouldnt be talking up the house youre viewing together. Go into any business and ask them if the good/service they are selling is any good, they will answer yes, do you really think the vendor will be happy if he instructs me and i tell every single person who walks through the door that i think its rubbish and i wouldnt buy it. I can only sell to what makes you tick, so if what im saying matches what youre after ie, a project you can add value to, then surely thats a good thing? After all you told me what you wanted and now im showing it to you, if im lying you would clearly be able to see it! I could hardly stand in a room stinking of damp with a hole in the wall and say this is a very nicely presented room, and also believe it or not people coming to me after 4 bed detached houses arent putting in offers for 2 bed apartments!

Theres actually a LOT more restrictions on estate agents now than there were back in the days that we were given a bad name, we can't lie and if you do youre in line for a hefty fine and you can even get jailtime. Offers must go forward within 24 hours, however, as ive already seen mentioned this doesnt give you the right to be an arse to us and if you've been difficult, rude and refused to supply information you can bet your life that the other guy who offered at the same price and was really pleasant will be going forward with much higher recommendations than the rude guy.

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Candice D. Ashtal 11th November, 2014 @ 05:59


Blind spots, tunnel vision and delusions of grandeur... The point is most of these people have no idea how the industry works. I have challenged them on their theories since I found this blog, a good couple of years ago. Given them my e-mail address, etc. The point is that, not one of them has the courage to take me on. They should try being an estate agent just for a week, that would change their wrong perceptions of us. After all empathy and understanding, is achieved through placing oneself in the shoes of the other person, (a common principal of social science).

Real Estate regulators and protective bodies for the public, around the world train agents on the same principals, "buyers are liars, and sellers are worse."

All of these people on this page speak only from a place of proving they are right, they all have to be right, however we have not heard from their estate agents or the other buyers or sellers. The main principal of law is to "hear the other side." There are two sides for every story.

George is an old retired man with nothing better to do with his retirement, than to vent on this page. If he reads the news he would know the UK property market is still one of the best in the world.

If estate agents started billing for appointments, distance travelled in our motor vehicles, postage and petties, marketing, and per telephone call, we would probably earn loads more than we do. That way we would get paid all of the time and not some of the time.

There will always be those people who respect you, and those that don't. Those that don't usually have not applied themselves and it is more important for them to look good on this blog, than it is to understand and learn something. To them ignorance is bliss.

The estate agents on this blog have all spoken with integrity and insight. More than that we cannot do.

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George Dodgeson. 11th November, 2014 @ 09:38

Here we go, yet again, with the childish petty abuse, whinging, and moaning from a certain kind of estate agent. No-one is taking any notice anymore. These days you are lucky to have a job at all, and every job I've ever had has had it's downside. I've dealt with the public directly myself as a sales manager, and as a salesman you don't know what is going through a customer's mind, what stresses they are under. In the house-selling business, for a buyer it is said to be as bad as if not worse than going through a divorce.

If I were branch manager of an estate agency and I came across attitudes I've read here, that individual would be out the door and would not come back. I trained my staff to deal with people in this real world, whether they were rude, arrogant etc. or not. A salesman's job is to SELL which means you become all things to all men. The customer is always right, especially when they are wrong. Some of you amateurs would do well to remember that.

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George Dodgeson. 11th November, 2014 @ 09:59

F.A.O. Benji --

Good gag, good gag. That's going in my joke book.

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Candice D. Ashtal 11th November, 2014 @ 14:12

Yes George! Whatever... Clearly you are still taking notice. What you forget is estate agents, are buyers and sellers and landlords and tenants too. We know what it is like to be a buyer, seller, tenant, landlord and developer, but you don't know how to be agent. If I wanted to abuse you I would, and could do a lot better at it. Quite frankly you have been abusing every estate agent on the planet, if you can dish it out, you better be willing to take it. Why don't you do something constructive with your retirement and go work with your friend the estate agent for a week, then come back and tell us how it went.

One of my agents had to go take photos of a house the other day to put on the internet. She had made an appointment with the seller, but when she got to his house, he wanted her to take photo's of the bedroom with him in bed. Another time after making an appointment to take photos of a property, the baby had taken a dump in the bath, and we were expected to take photos around that. Dirty dishes in the sink, unmentionables on the floor, etc. Then you people want to blame agents when homes don't sell... Not to mention that we have to council you through your move, divorce, death of a loved one, and into your new life. Go figure!!!

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George Dodgeson. 11th November, 2014 @ 16:08

Yet more of the same childish petty personal abuse. And other general irrelevant nonsense.

Why don't you people try starting a flame war somewhere else? With me it won't work. Being retired, and having some time on my hands, at least I have some sort of excuse for posting here. Nothing your sort can say will change my mind, or the minds of quite a few other posters here.

If you don't like your job so much, why not quit and let someone else do it? It's not my fault or concern.

Whinge, whinge, whinge.

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Candice D. Ashtal 11th November, 2014 @ 17:03

As usual George nothing rational, or of value to say. Actually we all value our jobs, because unlike you, there are good, decent people out there who value us and our service. And guess what? There is bugger all you can do about that. Like it or not, it is a fact, and I make a wonderful living out of it. It even pays while I'm sitting here speaking to you...I bet you are sorry you never became an agent, I go on holiday 4 times a year, and even have time to study misfits like you.

Joke is on you OLD MAN!

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George Dodgeson. 11th November, 2014 @ 18:19

Typical and complete bunk, no-where near reality, just invention. The reaction of the guilty. But if you get some kind of buzz from it, so be it...

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Benji 11th November, 2014 @ 19:00


I quite like estate agents, but claiming peoples opinions of them are completely misguided is, well, er, misguided. Its a reputation that has been deservedly earned over many, many years. Just 'cos you've been decent for 6 months won't change that.

Read this from Candice (who I actually believe is genuine) about 'old school' estate agent attitudes;

'Real Estate regulators and protective bodies for the public, around the world train agents on the same principals, "buyers are liars, and sellers are worse."

I cannot believe how rude people can be to you.

Don't let it get you down, learn how to deal with it and make money from it by playing along with their arrogance.
Read this from George;

'I know ALL the tricks, dodges and chicanery'

Arrogance like that is just begging to be exploited.

The whole article is deluded

Well, it ain't. There are elements of truth to it and also estate agents have changed a bit since the 8 years ago the bell-end wrote it.

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George Dodgeson. 11th November, 2014 @ 19:49


Type 1.
This type is fully aware they are stupid and don't try to fool anyone. So in a sense they aren't really all that stupid. These are the sort that make good life-long friends by always making themselves useful in many ways.

Type 2.
This type thinks everyone else is as stupid as they are, and never realize everyone else KNOWS.

Type 3.
This type actually thinks everyone else is even stupider than they are, so becoming the butt of jokes, humor, and situations they don't understand. Professional comedians often portray comic characters this way. Oliver Hardy played one of these type 3, and Stan Laurel played a type 1, making for this famous comedy duo's world-wide success.

So what's the connexion here? Only that type 2 is well in evidence, trying to defend the indefensible, and being so obvious about it. We all know who they are.

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Candice D. Ashtal 12th November, 2014 @ 06:52

Dear George

Count the number of posts on this blog 464 (and most of them yours), as of your last comment. Considering each estate agent has a data base of at least 1000 clients (this number keeps growing), at the end of being in business for a 1 year period, and a good number of the comments on this post are from estate agents. There is very little impact being made by this blog or by yourself, and others like you. Considering that since the global recession, estate agent numbers have dwindled. In my country there are 38000 estate agents, down from 98000 in the recession. Now baring in mind that only the top agents survived, and there are a few million homeowners... You can say what you like, you are not changing anything or convincing anyone, in fact there only seems to be a tiny number of not even 1% of you complaining...It is for this reason estate agents can pick and choose who they want to do business with.

So you can protest, all you want, people don't have time to find their own tenants, buyers, sellers, etc. They do not know the law of contract, or have the negotiating skills, let alone the money to market their own properties, and be on call every time a client needs to be assisted. Real Estate is a full time job, in fact one of the most stressful in the world, according to global research.

So George, there is still bugger all you can do about estate agents... It would seem the number of people complaining about estate agents is nothing to be concerned over. As usual you always get the odd grumpy old man or woman, who had a crap life and has to take a dump on the world one last time before they kick the bucket.

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no one 21st November, 2014 @ 08:27

I have been reading though and I can tell you.

You think estate agents are bad, you haven't dealt with management agents!! the worse ever people, even prostitution industry is better

also to Candice, you nothing accept a P...t so BACK OFF.

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Richard Oxxx 2nd December, 2014 @ 13:44

My question is: If they are so protective over their roles and are adamant they do everything by the book, then why would they mind being regulated? It's riduculous that the whole industry is not regulated but they have no problem going after other significant roles.

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Ashes 1st January, 2015 @ 18:32

Hello I am an estate agent who is new to the industry and I have worked for a high street agent and now currently an online agent.

If people want to sell their house for a good price they really need to sell it themselves and take responsibility for the negotiations. Though I agree with much if the sentiment of this post, agents can't knowingly lie to viewers when answering questions about offers, viewings and the like. Not without being liable to prosecution that is. I used to sell advertising for many years and I know that the fear of loss is the only real lever you have. So if someone knows (because it's public knowledge) that the house has been up for sale for say 6 months and the buyers ask the agent how many offers the sellers have had, s/he can not lie. Of course it would be better to lie and tell them you have had several but that you are holding out for what you know the property is really worth. All the desire the buyers had about the property suddenly get amplified when the fear of loss is thrown in. Basic selling Psychology? Maybe. So I say sell your own house and maybe you will know what dilemmas agents face every day. At least you will save yourself a few quid. Either way - good luck!

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Daniel 7th January, 2015 @ 08:53

Bit stereotypical this whole article isn't it? Ok, the last paragraph tries to stop the author seeming like a complete twat, but given all the points they make above I think this is no more than a small last minute disclaimer.
Having sold a number of houses, and actually worked in the industry previously I think it's a bit harsh to condemn ALL estate agents. I'm not suggesting there aren't a handful of bad eggs out there but I'm pretty sure you'll find that in any industry.

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Sam 10th January, 2015 @ 05:12

Mate, you got any properties available?
Oh yeah, and don't forget the lube.

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Dave 23rd January, 2015 @ 16:35

I am landlord to couple of properties and finding management agents worse to deal with..

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sue 29th January, 2015 @ 12:09

Candida talks balls frankly.
And her dyslexia shows.

No wonder she's an 'estate agent' a supermarket wouldn't employ her, she can't spell 'honesty' never mind 'beans'
Imagine being so thoroughly desperate to prove that 'you are somebody?' That you have to install yourself on society as a financial parasite, and an A moral LIAR for money?
The only thing missing from this scene Candida or whatever your name is Candice? (I prefer the vaginal yeast infection as your name dear) is the Penis in your mouth, and the cash Left on top of your brothel side cabinet you twatty girl, I bet she's from the west cuntry, and says things like 'Oooohhwwweeaaaaaarrr' and 'Whhhaarrrtt'
She couldn't string two pair of knickers together, in a get out of Monopoly quick game
Candida vanny, I bet you lick spunk from old men.

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James at Connells 29th January, 2015 @ 17:35

Jesus fucking Christ. George, haven't you died yet you old miserable twat?
Miserable moaning old cunt, who moans about everything and fucking anything.
ALL people over the age of 40 are cunts, assholes AND wankers. Hows that for generalising an entire demographic?
Oh, and ALL Muslims are terrorists. Kill them all!
And as for estate agents, well hang us up by the bollocks and strip our skin off because we're OBVIOUSLY all the same and how dare we say any different.

If you don't like estate agents, that's absolutely fine, go and sell your own house you absolute degenerate fucks because no estate agent give two shits. There are more than enough people who we can rip off, lie and steal to.

I'm off now to roll around in my web of deceit and wipe my arse with £20 notes.

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Candice D Ashtal 30th January, 2015 @ 08:00


Your Vocab speaks volumes for your state of mind. It is in the gutter. You are welcome to e-mail me: Candice.scheepers@infoprop.co.za I can prove everything I have said here. Unlike you and your ignorance which you display so clearly. I see you are quite in the know about blowjobs, and have a huge knowledge about oral sex. I'm sorry, I know nothing about your field, what ever that may be... it sounds a bit off though. Are you a sex worker perhaps? You certainly do not speak like a lady.

You may know a lot about sex but you know nothing about real estate, or dyslexia. I would rather have my problems than your vocabulary any day.

Thank God I'm not your estate agent. I would not be able to allow you move into one of my owners homes, as I fear you will be an embarrassment to everyone concerned.

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someone 30th January, 2015 @ 21:16

Go Sue Go, these estate agents deserve your time..
Any word for management agents, they are as bad :)

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Luke 3rd February, 2015 @ 08:12

Thought I'd chuck my opinion in as an agent in South London.
I earnt £96,000 last year. That's without the cash deals I had. I drive a brand new Mercedes and my wife has a new Audi Q7 on order. I've just bought my 4th investment property oh and it was £60,000 below market value, i think someone messed up on the valuation!
oh ill add that I'm a 25 year old estate agent, are you fucking jelous you old cunts? Making my living ripping off people like you? You do have a brain you can choose to sign with an agent or sell your own home. Plenty of people do it but it's proven that selling your own home your going to get less money for it. The estate agent fee is irrelevant really we on average sell or homes for 5-10% higher than other agents in our area so if we charge 1.5-2% then your still 3-7% better off yourself!

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Sarah 3rd February, 2015 @ 10:21

So here's my recent experience. I had some valuations to put my house on the market and they came in around £330,000 and I would accept around the £320,000. I had connels, dixons, and an online agent purple bricks. Purple bricks charged £695 no matter what, and the other agents charged around 1% of the final sale price. Big difference.

So i went with purple bricks. I had a viewing a few days later, and an offer of £290,000, and they went up to £312,000. I accepted as I had seen a house i really liked. Purple bricks told me he was a cash buyer, great. They took my property off the internet as sold subject to contract.

I offered on the other house with a small independent in a village. They said they would check the chain and put my offer forward straight away, which they did. But they also found out, that NO ONE had even checked if my buyer had shown proof of cash. Not to his solicitor (who he hadn't even instructed) nor to the online agent, who took my property off the market!

So the independent helped me (and not to get business because they didn't even cover my area) he told me I should put my property online until the buyer had shown proof of cash, and purple bricks REFUSED to do so, becasue the buyer "had assured them he had the funds".

Well when the buyer was asked by me to show proof of cash to the agent, OR his solicitor he refused and told me not to worry "darling" he has the cash. Well it seems he targeted online agents, because they don't do the checks, then when it's about to complete he takes £10k off the offer.

I can't thank that indepedent agent enough, who had no bias other than to look after his own vendor and took the time and effort to look after me, even though I;m not buying through them now as I lost the sale and the property went to someone else.

I'm now sold through Connels who are quite a big company round here, and although they are bit faster paced, they are still doing everything they should by the book. I'm sold at £322,000, and they did a fixed fee at £2800 +VAT which was amazing so even though the fee is higher i've gained more. Do whatever you like, but i would never recommend a online agent to anyone in the future.

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Nick 5th February, 2015 @ 14:30

Fact is online agents don't care. Estate agents will get you more for your property than trying on your own so the fee is justified. Like it or lump it. Especially in London when the difference between a good agent will cost you 30-50,000.

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someone 11th February, 2015 @ 08:51

funny it says 15 reasons estate agents are idiots, there should be 1000 reasons minimum.

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Matt 15th March, 2015 @ 01:58

Im an agent and would say 98% of agents out there are clueless, money grabbing slick side parted c*^%s. However I do give honest opinions and answers to questions nor do I try to pull the wool over people's eyes. Yes I sell, but not with bullshit but with facts. Most the points listed are wrong and Id be here all day listing what makes a bad agent.

Like most professions, we're not all the same. But I'd argue those who stereotype us have only ever dealt with an agent on less than five occasions and have next to no experience.

also, FYI there are agent qualifications but aren't mandatory (in my opinion it should be)

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Steve 9th April, 2015 @ 09:24

George Dodgeson is definitely dead. I won't speak ill of the dead... but he's still a cunt.


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Greg 12th April, 2015 @ 12:55

All real estate agents need to die in a fire. Scum!

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Francisco Javier 28th April, 2015 @ 11:36

its quite a statement to say all "Estate Agents must die in a fire"

Yes they are crooks, but they need to be disciplined and only way is to regulated the industry.


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peter 30th April, 2015 @ 12:13

I am and agent and thought I would put my views in. The answer here is quite simple. Pay peanuts, get bloody monkeys. We see little of what the company makes. On the face of it, it seems a lot right? Open the door, agree the sale... that will be 10 grand please. If only. The amount of bullshit and time waster buyers we have to wade through in order to agree a sale is excessive. We are middle men, for other peoples greed. Do you think we like calling a buyer up and telling them the seller wants an extra 20k because the market has gone up? Or telling the vendor the buyer has chipped him on 20k on the day of exchange. I can assure you we don't wake up thinking who can we fuck over today. The reason we take people to properties they don't want is usually because they have their heads in the clouds with what they can afford. You want a 2 bed period property at 250k? Well guess what, it isnt happening. The first agent that proves that to them usually secures a property for them. Go to a decent, long standing office (usually long standing because they are good). Go to a cheap agent and guess what, get a cheap service. 1.5% is the fee. 1% agents are rubbish. With such low fees it isnt worth the individual negotiators time. Yes, we do get higher fees. I got to a point on a negotiation where the buyer had reached 700k, the vendor wanted to accept but i knew my buyer so well I knew I could get more, so got him up 10k. Screwing the buyer over? I dont work for the buyer, the extra 10k? About a tenner to me. Why did I do it? Because I work for my client and has his interests in mind. Always think like that and long term it is better. Want an agent to always have your interests in mind? Pay a decent fee and go with a well known, quality agent that passionately protects its image, has regular training and audits, listens to rightmove calls and ensure their staff are acting in a manner that will not damage the reputation of the agent, ultimately offering a good service. Pay a cheap fee for a two bit agent who turns over lots off staff then expect to get the points mentioned above.

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Brandon 16th May, 2015 @ 15:46

I am too an estate agent who works in hertfordshire. In my opinion this is directed to the fool who made this blog, you have clearly had a bad experience with either 1 or numerous agents and you are obviously a guy who likes to row with people for nothing. You remind me of a person who will complain to staff in Greggs just because there sausage rolls are cold. As you can clearly tell all estate agents above are telling you why we charge the fee. Did you know that advertisement cost a heft amount? Oh wait, no you didn't. Did you also realise there are staff to be paid? Oh wait, you didn't. I am a well educated young man who does have half a brain and you just remind of one of those people who come into the estate agency office and have something to complain about. Again, you have no idea what we deal with day in, day out. For e.g, I had a purchaser on a property, and the buyer was obviously stalling not sending funds etc. So the vendor decided to pull out and get more money. Low and behold i told the buyer and he threatened me and also came into my office and tried to fight me. So, would you be willing to spend a good 3 months of your time chasing a deal to get threatened and not get paid? Thought not. Quit moaning and get on with life.

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Ben 18th May, 2015 @ 15:46

This is a fucking shit country and so are estate agents!

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Matt 22nd May, 2015 @ 15:00

Have only got experience renting several times as a student but every time have been treated terribly. Everything from being charged admin fees, before having said admin messed up by the agents and having to move into our property a month late whilst still paying rent, to living without a shower or oven for 2 months due to absolute negligence on the part of the agent. I understand in these situations that often the landlord will be causing an issue, as it involves the replacement of equipment he will not want to be paying for, but this does not allow for the actual treatment which one is subjected to by the agent; not explaining the issue and just continuing to delay and say "oh yeah I'll get right on that." No one would hate estate agents if transparency seemed even a slight consideration to them. The issue comes from the feeling that we have no choice in using them, and then feeling like they don't even respect us enough to keep us in the loop. If my landlord is refusing to replace things then my irritation will be directed at the landlord, not the agent. If they don't tell me this is the case, I can only assume that they are playing me for a fool. I have no doubt that there exist incredibly rude customers and bad tenants, but I have personally always strived to treat Agents with respect, and have never made a late payment of rent on any property I have rented, and it seems all I have received in return is the assumption I can be treated badly. Ultimately I have always had the knowledge and confidence to sort out these issues in the past but I feel unbounded sympathy for people in my situation who don't know what to do about it

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Francisco Javier 28th May, 2015 @ 12:39

I think we all know estate agents hold no degree or hardly any formal qualifications, otherwise they bugger off to do something they enjoy, they are estate agents purely for the money and nothing else.

bottom line, they are free to do whatever they could to make money out of you, simply their industry is not regulated, and who will stop them " the the ombudsman" make me laugh !!


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Wayne 31st May, 2015 @ 23:59

Sometimes some people do have that category. but we can not judge it specifically. but it is visible and there are like that. because specifically, a system of direct marketing of a product does not have specific knowledge base. Although currently a profession requires a specification of the necessary expertise. nice article. Information on administrative services: https://uk.orangefield.com/post-incorporation-services/process-agent-uk-services/ ... thanks for share.

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someone 3rd June, 2015 @ 08:28

been reading some of the comments, and honestly Estate agents are so stupid and you can not afford not to hate them.. I am not referring to one stupid " Foxton " but rather all estate agents are dump, here is an interesting article to read by the telegraph :)



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Dumb Estate Agent 13th June, 2015 @ 14:11

Hi Josey,

Just thought I would let you know the sentence 'you can not afford not to hate them' is actually a double negative, and is considered poor grammar.

Just your average dumb estate agent trying to raise awareness amongst the highly intelligent :)

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Simon Merlin 22nd June, 2015 @ 09:31

I have had the 'pleasure' of being a Property Lawyer for nearly 30 years and can quite happily confirm that this 'review' is 100% correct about the majority of Estate Agents, and as you can guess, I have had to deal with a lot of them!

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Lucy 5th July, 2015 @ 14:17

I have now come to the conclusion that the majority of estate agents around these days do not have a clue how to value property as they all seem to arrive with a fistful of details taken from property comparison websites, the value of ones property has already been decided before they walk through the door as they have already compared ones property with houses sold nearby. Size, any additions etc., are not taken into consideration.

The idea is to get a property on the market as cheap as possible so that they the agents do not have to get up off their backsides and actually try to sell it, that would be too much to ask.

I worked as a negotiator for many years in the era when an estates agents had to use their brains when valuing property which is not the case today. Whatever happened to intelligence?

I have come to the conclusion that one may as well stick a private for sale board in the garden with details of price, whether open to offers, phone number etc., and just sit back. After all this is what agents do but charge you a fee for doing more or less nothing apart from printing a brochure and sticking the property on an online website.

Taking pictures of a property is easy enough.

I would like to sell but I am still waiting for someone to value who knows how to value without using a comparison website, enough said.


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