About The Landlord
Welcome to my personal landlord blog. Yes, this is a one-man show, if that.
Who are you?
I’m a 20-something landlord that enjoys sharing his morbid thoughts and real-life experiences through this blog.
I go by the alias “The Landlord” because it makes me feel powerful, and sidetracks me from the realities of my insecurities and inadequacies.
What’s this site all about?
At a young’ish age, while all my peers excelled in masturbating and computer games, I had taken an unlikely keen interest in financial growth, particularly property investment. Despite how it may sound, I did have friends and I wasn’t bullied.
Wanting to pursue my interest, yet disabled by my fear of having zero experience, I was in a dilemma. I knew I liked the idea of owning and investing in property and in turn creating passive income and security for my future. But I had no idea how to achieve it. I literally didn’t have a clue. Sarah Beeny did as much as she could, but there was only so much I could learn from reruns of Property Ladder.
After a few years of umm’ing and ahh’ing and watching others succeed, I eventually decided to bite the bullet. I was prepared to invest my life-savings into a buy-to-let property and become a landlord. “The Landlord”, if you will.
The point of this website was to document my every step, so people (particularly bored people) could read about my transition from clueless-property-idiot to landlord. I completed the task on the 2nd of March 2007. Moral of the story? Any chump can do it. Yes, YOU can be that chump, you just need to believe.
Ever since completing my task I’ve been making regular updates to my blog, mostly covering my trials and tribulations as a landlord.
I still have plenty to learn and I regularly make mistakes, but this is the place where I share it all so others can learn and share their own experiences.
Why are you always bitching?
If you’ve already read through a few of my blog entries, you may have formed an opinion of me. Most likely negative.
Apparently I swear too much, make unnecessary sexual references, and perhaps come across as an extremely unsavoury person. Everything but the latter is true, the other stuff is down to my own brand of humour.
I don’t bitch a lot in life, but I do find it easier to blog when I want to vent, so that may make me look more psychotic, bitter and twisted than I actually am. I guess blogging on here is my therapy. I’m not a bitter person. I love being a Landlord and I’m a pretty laid back individual. People incorrectly assume I’m a miserable sack-of-shit that just complains all day. Not true! Not true.
All I can say is that I try to help people when and where I can, whether they’re a landlord, tenant, greasy letting agent or anyone with an interest in what I do. I genuinely want good people to succeed in life.
It’s a pity you cannot give advise without the foul language (your advise is good)!
You can fuck right off.
No, no, no. Come back *hugz*
Let me explain…
When I write/blog, I try my best to write like I speak in my head, and not how I’m ‘supposed’ to write. I pride myself on NOT being a dribbling drone.
In my free-spirited mind, before I apply my social filters, I swear a lot and it’s a lot more chaotic up in my head, and that’s the moment I try to capture on paper… because it’s those emotions that feel more real and human. I find people are able to relate better to those moments of initial chaos, and unfortunately, people rarely put anything “real” out there these days; everything feels robotic and processed.
But in reality, while dealing with any incident and people, I apply my social filters, and believe it or not, once that filters are blinking and operational, you’ll probably want to hug me… and caress me… all day, all night. For example, rarely do I swear in my every day conversations, in fact, I usually find it unnecessarily and disrespectful (depending on who/what I’m talking to). Needless to say, I wouldn’t say a lot of the things I do on here in real life.
Essentially, you need to take this place for what it is, and not for what it isn’t. This isn’t a tabloid newspaper or an editorial magazine- there are plenty of those landlord websites out there, which do a fine and boring job. This is a personal blog- not just mine, but for anyone that wants to comment/network in this capacity.
My main objective is to help others through my own experiences- the only way I know how to do that is by sharing my real thoughts/feelings, which includes every little morbid niggle of mine.
I know I’m not everyone’s cup-of-tea. I’m an acquired taste. Despite that, I genuinely want everyone to stick around and help the community prosper. However, based on copious amounts of dissatisfied emails I have received, I get the impression that many of you feel like I am forcing you to stick around at gunpoint. I promise you, if you never come back, there will be no repercussions beyond my very own tears.
But yeah, it is a tragic pity I can’t give advice without swearing my tits off. Agreed.
I know many may disagree, but I believe property is a low risk investment with high rewards (if you do it right). I heard somewhere (God knows where) that 20% of the UK rich list made their wealth with Property Investment. I like the sound of that (even if it’s not true)!
Are you rich?
No, not even close.
Give me some money.
PayPal me: payment@propertyinvestmentproject DOT co DOT uk
I emailed you, you never replied- WHY?
I genuinely try to reply to every email which requires a response, even the abusive ones. However, if I ignored your email (assuming it’s angling for a response) it’s probably because you fall into at least one of the following:
- Ignored my disclaimer(s) – this is the disclaimer directly above my contact form – it’s prominent and in plain view:
You can see it, right? Then why didn’t you pay any attention to it?
It’s especially baffling when I receive emails in the form of essays requesting assistance, which clearly took a long time to compile, with total disregard to my disclaimer. Not even a simple, “Hey, I know you said you don’t offer one-on-one support, but…”
Either way, I’m probably doing you a favour by ignoring your reach-out for assistance because it would be a case of the blind leading the blind. In 99.9% of cases, you’re better off contacting your Local Advice Bureau for free legal advice (if that’s what you’re after, which usually is the case)… or leaving a comment on a relevant blog post which disusses the issue, where the masses can assist. Better yet, take my initial advice (which you rudely ignored) and get your ass over to the landlord/tenant forum.
- Lack of manners – the amount of emails I receive whereby people don’t even comply with basic manners is pretty damn scary. For example, if you email me asking for advice/help (yes, which goes against my point above- but I do actually reply some times- but seriously, don’t email me asking for any), then at least say “hi”, “please”, and/or “thank you” (whichever is relevant).
I’m not asking for much, just manners. It’s free. It’s nice. Embrace it.
Personally, I wouldn’t have the balls to ask someone for help without being polite about it. If you do, you’re someone I have no interest in communicating with. Asshole.
- You’re a ditherer – I don’t have time to flirt (unless you’re exceptionally hot and/or big breasted), so if you don’t get to the point in your email I’m not going to waste time prying it out of you. For example, if you’re going to email me saying, “I have something that may be of interest to you and your readers, may I recommend a service?” (or something to that effect) without actually telling me what/where in that very same email- I’m not interested.
Another classic, which I often receive is, “I have a business proposition for you, please call me on 020 XXXX XXX”
Seriously? I’m not going to freaking call you, you delusional fruitloop. It’s just plain ridiculous, and you’re probably clinically insane if that’s your tactic to sell whatever it is you’re selling. You’re terrible at business/marketing, for sure.
If you’re trying to sell to me, then don’t make me work for information/details. Give me something to work with, and if I like what I hear I’ll call you.
- Too lazy to do research on a topic I’ve addressed – you’re asking a question which I have already tackled in a blog post, so get off your lazy ass and spend at least 10-15mins going through the relative categories and/or use the search function. If you’re too lazy to do that, then excuse me for being too lazy to respond to you.
- Too lazy to research what this website is about – if you don’t already know, let me explain- this is a personal landlord blog– it’s literally covered in the first sentence of this “about” page. I am one person; this is my online blog; I wrote every blog post on here.
But you didn’t bother to do any kind of research on the person/website you’re contacting, not even the bear minimum (i.e. click on the “about” link)- and that’s why you sent me an email which says something like, “please can you put me in touch with the marketing department?” – basically implying there’s more than one of us here.
There is no marketing department. Again, this a personal blog, I’m not freaking Bill Zuckerberg over here.
If you’re too lazy to spend a couple of minutes reading the “about” page before approaching me with a proposition – I don’t want to deal with you, because the odds are you’re too incompetent to offer me anything remotely appealing, but more importantly, you’d probably drive me bonkers, despite the fact you’re probably a nice person. If I was interested in contacting someone via their website, the first thing I would do is read their “about” page to understand more about them and their company.
- CAPSLOCKS – for some ridiculous reason you emailed me with the CAPSLOCK on. There’s no need. Grow up.
- You sent me useless marketing material – I’m not going to publish/share your shitty generic marketing material, which you blasted out to every mug on your emailing list. In fact, take me off your emailing list (I almost certainly didn’t subscribed to it in the first place).
I genuinely wouldn’t put my valued readers’ through that kind of torture. Ironically, one of the main reasons this blog has a healthy following is because I ignore shitty marketing material and spare them from it. Know what’s ironic? If I didn’t have a healthy following, you probably wouldn’t be contacting me with your shitty marketing drivel.
- You think I’m a letting agent – you emailed me asking me if I know of any vacant properties for you and/or your family. I don’t. I’m not a letting agent. It’s silly that you think I am. You’re silly. Very silly.
- Your website is awful – you have a website and you want me to promote it, but your website is terrible (at least I think it is) or at least, inadequate enough for me to stay clear.
Harsh, but fair, right? Good.
If you don’t fall under any of the above and I still failed to reply- oops, my bad, hit me up again. I’d love to hear from you :)
I’ve heard rumours of your beauty. Is it true?
What if there’s a property crash? There is going to be one, ya’ know?
I know. I’m actually expecting a couple of crashes during my life-time of investing.
However, that’s alright with me- I don’t plan on making a quick exist, i’m here for the long haul. I’m using property as a means to secure my future.
A crash will only hinder the short-term investor. If you can be bothered, you can read more about My Property Investment Strategy.
What’s so special about your site compared to other property/landlord sites?
Nothing at all, to be honest. The only niche I have is that I have documented my “real story”, from property amateur to landlord.
I’ve ploughed through many financial and property related websites and I quickly realised they’re mostly crammed with technical and boring jargon that no one really ever understands, or even wants to. There’s no emotion, no signs of reality, it’s all very dry and inanimate.
I try to keep things real, in the sense that any normal, average Joe can relate to my experiences (even if you’re an absolute dumbass. I don’t descriminate). I’m not an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve picked up a few useful tips and tricks along the way, which may even provide useful for experienced landlords, and this is where I release.
You’ve made a few spelling mistakes, are you stupid?
I’m not a published author or a self-proclaimed journalist. This is my “personal blog” where I jot down my inner-thoughts, mostly during haste, so grammatical mistakes are plentiful. If you find it truly unbearable, to the point where you physically cannot deal with the massacre, then I deeply apologise. I want to make you feel comfortable during your visit, and I’ll do what I can to assist.
How about we help each other?
Above all, I want to create content that will help people progress in life, whether it be professionally or on a personal level. I imagine that’s accomplished most effectively when sentences make sense. So if you spot any mistakes, whether it’s a misuse of a comma or an incorrectly spelt word, drop me an email, and I’ll attend to the mess immediately.
Hopefully, together, we will tidy this place up so it’s a show-piece of grammatical perfection. That would be amazing. Incredible. So delicious.
What’s your favourite quote?
I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
– Blaise Pascal
It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.
This question/answer has nothing to do with anything, but I wanted to jot them down somewhere as a reminder.
“I’m extremely attractive. I like your sense of humour. Want to have sex?”
Yeah, sure. Drop me an email.
I have an awesome new product for landlords, will you review it?
I’ll bet my left bollock on the fact it’s total junk.
What do you want from me (YOU, the readers)?
Friendly interaction, whether that entails seeking advice and/or helping the fellow man.
That’s all for now, kids. If you would like to know anything else, just hit me up by filling in the contact form on the contact page!
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