Sarah Beeny Vs Kirstie Allsopp

I’ve come across a lot of forum threads and blogs (old and new) that are asking the question, “Sarah Beeny or Kirstie Allsopp?”

Sarah Beeny or Kirstie Allsopp

The arguments haven’t been based on Sarah’s or Kirstie’s property knowledge! Oh-no! The online male community have separated them into two distinct topics of discussion.

In one corner, you have two uber geeks using their names as search engine experiments- the hypothesis being to find out which property guru is searched for the most by Google users. And in the other corner, you have a fine selection of walking erections, who can’t decide which is the most do’able.

If only they knew, I’m sure they’d both be flattered.

Here are a few examples, out of many I encountered:

Traffic experiement:
Mad dog and Englishman

Forum discussions:
House Price Crash

My thoughts on the issue…

I don’t care about the search related volumne, that shit is way too geeky, even for me. I really don’t care who is Googled for the most. As for the physicalities…I’ve decided that I’m not going to take sides; both women have outrageously huge breasts, curvy hips, and ultimate sex appeal. How am I meant to choose? I’m only human. I know a lot of you expect me to choose Sarah Beeny because I rave on about her all the time, but I’d happily stand next to both property gurus, whilst feeding them grapes, and fanning them down with a freshly plucked ostrich feather. I don’t understand why people are having to make the sacrifice of cutting one out of the picture. Hell, we’re not ever going to get either of them, so instead of hypothetically settling for one, why not hypothetically have sex with both of them…at the same time, or one after another, which ever floats your boat.

Who do you prefer and why?

8 Comments- Join The Conversation...

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anglolatina 11th May, 2007 @ 16:52

hello, lovely boy, thank you for your recent comment, i thought you'd forgotten all about me.
hey, are girls allowed an opinion on the property guru issue?

yes? ok! frankly, i don't like either of them (hahaha). i used to like sarah beeny before i noticed her huge breasts and now feel a bit sorry for her because it must always be an issue in her world - having to constantly prove that she's more than a couple of big tits. having said that, the opening of the new property ladder series, and that face she pulls into the camera, have you seen it? is intensely annoying, don't you think?

someone else i used to like (only because she's damned good at what she does) is the american (sorry) house doctor, ann maurice... but now *she* has a new series out as well, and pulls exactly the same irritating facial expression at the beginning, and every time the programme comes back after a commercial break, and it just pisses me off.

with regard to the other girl, i find her so incredibly stuck up her own arse, with those unnecessarily long vowel sounds and "i'm posher than the queen" attitude...


i'm being a bay-tch, aren't i?

oh, all right, then. they're all lovely! i love them all!

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 11th May, 2007 @ 18:04

Hello, wonderful son!

I love how civil we are to one another these days; we almost act like adults.

So, let me get this straight- you used to like Sarah Beeny, but have since changed your mind because you realised she has to cope with the devastatingly taxing job of dealing with the day-to-day pitfalls of having beautifully large breasts? Let me tell you something, she didn't get the short straw!

You are insane, and extremely odd.

Yeah, Kirstie Allsop does come across as extremely stuck-up, from what I remember seeing of her.

But hey, this ain't no damn blog about the irritating facial expressions they pull or the admiration of their "inner beauty"- I don't want to cook them a gourmet meal and have mindsex with them...I want to..well, ya'know...

I have noticed those dumb facials expressions, and I try not to let it get to me, because we have to accept the good and the bad qualities of those we love.

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anglolatina 14th May, 2007 @ 18:16

hello again "son",

i didn't say i don't like sarah beeny because of her large breasts! i said i feel sorry for her, in the same way you'd feel sorry for some hunk who desperately wants to prove he's intelligent *as well* as good-looking... because, as you say, if you're a hunk, WHO CARES if you're intelligent or not, right?

well, maybe the hunk does.

as far as the facial expressions are concerned, i just find them off-putting. sarah beeny used to come across as your next-door-neighbour kinda gal, happy to help and give advice, but now... she's MRS. EXPERT, and the program has degenerated into "let's make this a watchable TV program", whereas before - actually, come to think of it, it's probably always been this way, but in a more discrete way - the focus was on the idea that ordinary people like you and me can actually make huge profits from property.

research and a lot of time invested has taught me that this really ISN'T the case (at least, not in England and not without taking huge risks, I'm surprised none of the people in property ladder have ever made a loss), and that investment in property is a long-term thing, rather than a get-rich-quick scheme, which is the focus of the program (when she says at the end, "making a MASSIVE PROFIT of at least 5 figures!" etc.)

i still like sarah beeny though... i think she's diplomatic and charismatic, she has presence and knowledge, and i wouldn't mind having her for a friend...

The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 14th May, 2007 @ 21:07

Yes, you did: "i used to like sarah beeny before i noticed her huge breasts and now feel a bit sorry for her... " :)

Hmm...I think you're confusing "property development" with "investment in property"...

Development is when you buy a rundown shack, turn it around, and then sell the property quickly. That's when you can make a lot of money quickly. That's what 'Property Ladder' is about.

Investment in property is when you just buy a property (i.e Let it out) and let the equity grow- that's the longterm ideal.

I mentioned in a previous blog that I've never seen ANYONE lose money on Property Ladder. I've seen a lot of stupid people eat into their profits by making foolish choices, but I've yet to see someone come out in negative. But apparently they have shown episodes where people have lost money...

P.s are you still sure you want to leave me?

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Frank 18th May, 2007 @ 13:23

I'm with the closing comments in the original blog post. Why choose at all? Have them both.

Make sure neither know about the other though; else there'd be hell to pay. Sarah would be bound to make you methodically list their relative virtues and choose between them. Kirstie, on the other hand, would probably pin you down wearing agent provocateur skimpies until you well ... submit.

Hooray for active imaginations!

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John Doe 9th October, 2008 @ 12:51

Sarah or Kirsty???? It's an impossible dilemma realy! Both exceptionaly intelligent, sexy and unobtainable. I apologise to thier respective partners for lusting after thier obvious soul mates (how many kids have they got between them now??). Kirsty smoulders with a seductive pout while Sarah's sexy, gravelly voice drives me! However, on a property developement basis, Kirsty 'sledgehammer' I'm afraid, loses out to the project management skills of the wonderful Sarah - she simply can't make a wrong decision!! Sorry Kirsty - much as I love you and will continue to watch you ( I do like the rapport you have with Phil) Sarah Beeny is the property development godess!

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Jayne 11th August, 2009 @ 21:24

From a girls point of view, i would drink from the fury cup of both ladies.
Kirsty is always ellegant, and gives the impression she would be a horny little madam in bed.
Sarah at times is stunning, others, she can look dog rough, she needs to keep her hair long, and not loose too much weight, as it spoils her sexy bum, and reduses her wonderful tits.

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Ads 25th January, 2012 @ 06:16

There is no contest. Kirsty is a woman in every sense of the word. Those lips that talk after she stops speaking, the unfathomable eyes, the effortless grace she holds herself with. Sarah is a bit of a rough knock about "scrubber", who tends to double her cup size every time she pumps out another kid. When she's not preggers or feeding, her teats are very average. I know, harsh but true.


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