My Tenant Left Me With A Wheelie Bin Full Of Shit And Sex Toys

Well, fuck me sideways. My ex tenants’ got me good this time.

This incident actually happened a few weeks ago, but I’ve only just had time to tell the tale. I’m not sure if this incident is more amusing or frustrating. Perhaps you should tell me…

I’ve already mentioned a few dozen times that a set of tenants moved out a few weeks ago, right? Right. Well, on the day they moved out we did the final inspection together, and everything appeared to be fine. There was no damage to the property, and everything appeared to be clean. “Appeared” being the operative word.

Being under the impression everything was fine, I returned the deposit. All was good in the hood.

A few days later I went back to the property to do a bit of required maintenance work. After fitting new light bulbs in the kitchen, I went to throw away the packaging into a wheelie bin. That’s when I noticed that one of the wheelie bin’s was filled to the brim with junk. At the top of the pile was an overused “welcome” floor mat, a plastic dish holder, an array of rusty cutlery, and copious amounts of empty plastic bags. I dare not move anything around with my bare hands to see what laid deeper.

Admittedly, it was my fault! I should have checked the wheelie bins while I was doing the inspection (I usually do). To make it worse, I had already declared the property as being empty with the local housing office, consequently I was benefiting from Council Tax Exemption, so the garbage men weren’t coming around any time soon. Additionally, I already confirmed with the tenant everything was ok and returned their deposit, so I couldn’t recall on them to clean up their shit. My only option was to accept my fate; to get my hands dirty and dispose of the crap myself. Needless to say, the rubbish wasn’t disposed into black bin liners, everything was just individually thrown into the bin. Great.

The next day I returned to the property with 3 heavy duty bin liners and a pair of rubber gloves. Item by item, I slowly started transferring everything into bin liners so I could dispose of them at the local skip.

Rubbish

You can tell a lot by going through someone’s rubbish

The above statement is FACT! By going through my tenants’ rubbish I actually learned a lot about them. Granted, I didn’t actually learn anything useful, but I did learn something.

Firstly, I learned they lived off baked beans and eggs. The bin was FULL of empty egg shells and bean cans. I also learned the following…

Careless/dangerous

They left a half full gas torch in the bin. Idiots.

Gas Torch

Sexually active. Nice!

I found an empty box of 12 “variety” condoms.

On a side note, it’s interesting that amongst the different performance types and fittings, there’s 3 “strawberry” flavoured ones.

Condoms

They like it freakay

The jackpot. Laying next to the condoms I found a pack of handcuffs. I shit you not!

Condoms and Handcuffs

Unfortunately, I’ll NEVER look at my ex tenants’ in the same light. The thought of them having sex was unsettling enough. Ya’ know, there are some people in this world that you just can’t imagine having sex. Like your parents. Well, my ex tenants come into that category.

Unfortunately, not only do I have mental images of two people that I can’t imagine having sex actually humping the shit out of one another, but they’re doing it while hand cuffed and dressed in leather gimps suits.

Gimp Suit

Granted, I never found any leather gimp suits, but that’s just how my creative and colourful mind evolved the situation. I found condoms and handcuffs, so I naturally assume there were gimp suits. The obvious explanation is that they took the gimp suits with them to their new residence, hence why they weren’t in the wheelie bin.

Imagine two people you can’t imagine having sex (e.g. YOUR PARENTS) looking like this:

Hand Cuffed Gimp

DON’T BLAME ME! Blame my ex tenants! They did this!!! They did this. If I have to suffer with those horrific thoughts/images, then so do you… I’m taking you all down with me!

So, not only did my ex tenants’ force me to physically organise their mouldy rubbish into bin liners and dispose of their shit, but they also haunted me with mental images of unsettling sex scenes. Which brings me back to my initial question, should I be more annoyed or amused?

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever found that a tenant left behind?

Right, I’m off to inflict a head injury on myself. Hopefully that will dislodge my short term memory. Fuck my life.

Update
I should have made the following clear. In hindsight, it was naive of me, because I should have known this blog post would have triggered emotions, particularly in regards to “why” I went through my tenants rubbish. So wrong and immoral, right?

So just to clarify, and perhaps to sway some of those who are raged (I don’t except to get through to all of you)…

I feel I had to go through their rubbish and dispose of it because;

  • 1) I didn’t know how long the property would be vacant for, so I needed to dispose of the rubbish in case it started smelling and/or attracting rodents.
  • 2) I had to empty the contents of the bin by hand, because as said, the tenants didn’t use black bags. There was no other option. I didn’t WANT to do it, believe me! It took ages! And completing the task blind-folded seemed impractical, albeit perhaps more noble.
  • 3) During vacant periods, landlords are entitled to claim council tax exemption (which I did), in which time we don’t benefit from certain services e.g. garbage collection.
  • 4) How would you feel as a new tenant, if you arrived at a property that had bins full up of stinking rubbish? Bear in mind, when people move into a house, they particularly need the bins to dispose of boxes/wrapping etc.

19 Comments- join the conversation...

Guest Avatar
jeffo 26th October, 2010 @ 23:56

Went to view a house for sale. The tenants had obviously done a bunk and shut the door on the pets. Dead dog in the bedroom, cat in the kitchen etc. NICE

I am having images of old people in gimp suits thanks to you. The vinyl is squeaking against vinyl. Heartless b'stard

Stayed in a hotel (formule1) that had a jizz filled jonny in the bed. Thats worse that a tenants rubbish being in the bin!

1
The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 27th October, 2010 @ 08:03

Dead dog and cat? That is awful!!

Condom filled with jizz is amusing/gross ha. Did you complain? If so, what did they say, and did you get any compensation? I would have demanded compensation. Failing that, I would have launched the condom at the manager's face!

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Guest Avatar
Ryan 27th October, 2010 @ 17:36

A hamster, cupboard full of dildoes and an urn with ashes, this was all in the same property... nice!

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Andrew Mills 27th October, 2010 @ 22:51

Depends upon how much rubbish there is, but there are people who will remove rubbish on your behalf (including full house clearances). Check also your local council - Bristol CC will remove stuff for you for £15 (not checked the price lately), or even for free if you're on benefits, which is handy and is cheaper than a skip if you don't have much to dump.

I know there are other things I;d rather spend £15 on, but on the other hand, I think I would rather have someone else handle the shit...

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Guest Avatar
jeffo 27th October, 2010 @ 23:11

I didnt complain about the hotel. I was too busy dealing with a sobbing girlfriend. We left in a state of shock. The floor was filthy. The shower was disgusting and it was quite clear to us that this was normal to them. We jointly decided to forget we had ever been. (you have spoilt it for me now, I broke silence!)

You have to be very careful who you use to remove waste. YOU, the customer are liable for the actions of the waste company! Do they have a waste carriers licence? Can they provide you with a duty of care waste transfer note? If they cant do both, they are illegal. If they can but they dump the crap, you are still liable. Are they insured to be carrying waste? Are the guys loading it insured to walk onto/into your property? (sounds daft but imagine what happens when they put in a compensation claim against you!) The best bit is after they have checked out where you are storing the tools, will they be there tomorrow?

5
Guest Avatar
jools 29th October, 2010 @ 18:07

Woooah! Tidy blow torch! Does it work?

Worth a few bob that!

Is it only me who thinks that gimp thing is just a tad bizzare? Mind you each to their own!! Is that some kind of anal lube in the box behind the handcuffs?

I think you have a new career as a paparazzo or private eye now you have your fetish for rummaging through bins!

Jools

6
Guest Avatar
property lady 9th November, 2010 @ 09:09

Did you actually take those photos for the sake of this post? Who is the poor girl in the picture?

This post does make me feel better - even an expert landlord has been duped. My own efforts as a landlord, as hard as I try, sometimes get foiled by unruly tenants and it's just reassuring to know that it can happen to anyone.

7
Guest Avatar
David Moran 23rd December, 2010 @ 01:31

My God

Condoms and handcuffs! Anyone would think they had a healthy sex life. Bastards! Thank goodness they're not wearing leather gimp masks. Oh they were in your mind? Sick f**kers.

Anyone would think that when someone lives in a house you own and pays you, that they might have earned the right legally and morally to live their own lives. Bastards again!

You sir are a repressed idiot with an unhealthy unfulfilled obsession with s&m, if you intend to live your life as a commentary on the normal lIfestyle of a couple might I suggest a career as a judge on afghanistan idol. Your pre-18th century views lead me to believe that's where you habit.

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The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 23rd December, 2010 @ 12:10

@David Moran
Seriously, calm down.

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Guest Avatar
Twattybollocks 23rd December, 2010 @ 17:25

@David - Oh christ it's the god squad and MAry Whitehouse rolled into one!

We want more Landlord!

TB

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rofl 15th January, 2011 @ 06:50

@David Moran. Well said. Who'd have thought a bin would be full of JUNK?! and condoms?... Disgraceful. They're having safe sex potentially enhanced by handcuffs.
The images are delightfully UNhaunting and it pleases me you find them otherwise xxx
silly landlord.

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Guest Avatar
JOHN SMITH 9th July, 2011 @ 12:34

So they left the bin full, and they had sex. Condoms and handcuffs don't exactly made them sex fiends! Just one word of advice - never type freaky sex into google....you won't like what you see!

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Layne 16th July, 2013 @ 14:40

Well blow me, in a previous life as a council contractor I used to have to go into empty flats to replace faulty windows and the like. One flat in particular sticks in my mind as the filthiest place I've ever set foot in. The carpets were strewn with a ladies soiled undergarments and the wheelie bin had been brought inside and used as a recepticle for used needles. Needless to say they should have been using a clinical waste bin for this recreational activity. I didn't last long after that as a council worker, it's not that I'm easily upset, more a case of something better came along. I now work for www.getwheeliebins.co.uk but I still have my own share of shit to deal with.
For those with more unusual sexual proclivities we're thinking of introducing a "Glory Hole" range of wheelie bins. Contact us for more details.

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Guest Avatar
Layne 17th July, 2013 @ 12:10

Well blow me, in a previous life as a council contractor I used to have to go into empty flats to replace faulty windows and the like. One flat in particular sticks in my mind as the filthiest place I've ever set foot in. The carpets were strewn with a ladies soiled undergarments and the wheelie bin had been brought inside and used as a recepticle for used needles. Needless to say they should have been using a clinical waste bin for this recreational activity. I didn't last long after that as a council worker, it's not that I'm easily upset, more a case of something better came along. I now work for http://www.getwheeliebins.co.uk but I still have my own share of shit to deal with.
For those with more unusual sexual proclivities we're thinking of introducing a "Glory Hole" range of wheelie bins. Contact us for more details.

14
Guest Avatar
Mike 6th January, 2014 @ 16:13

Wow what a twat this landlord is - cancelled the council tax before the bins were emptied and then blames the tenants.

Then to top it off after the landlord has seen a couple of empty boxes hes then spent time on google looking up bondage pictures for the thread - what a twat!

Unfortunately i didnt type freaky sex into google to find this story. I searched for 'wheelie bin sketch' and couldnt resist fining out how the picture of the woman on the bed related to my search. FML

15
Guest Avatar
Gary 5th March, 2014 @ 21:21

Disgusting!

Not the tenant ... the landlord. I hope you realise that the tenant could screw you over seven ways to Sunday for what you just did.

You realise that those items are STILL the property of the tenant in English Law. Abandonment does not apply to items left out for refuse collection, a position that has been tested and upheld in english courts for the last 50 years and as recently as 2013.

Not only have you interfered with their property, you've damaged their privacy and further sought to gain amusement at their expense, risking tortuous harm in the process.

If I were them, I would have you. Not because of your mistake - but because the gleeful disregard and foul language mark you as a bitch of the first water.

You made a mistake! They are entitled to place their rubbish out on till last day of the tenancy - You jumped the gun. Not their fault - Yours! Your subsequent handling of this minor situation is atrocious!

I'm with Mike - What a twat you are!

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Guest Avatar
mrs nobody 15th November, 2014 @ 21:07

My cousin (a landlady) once found a dildo in one of the cookinf pans. lmao.
This post made me laugh for that and the brilliant writing it gets a thumbs up.

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Guest Avatar
Tomolika 28th April, 2015 @ 14:59

Why the hell are you as a landlord going through your previous tenants garbage. Was they suppose to take it with them. It needs to stay until the rubbish collectors come take it. You had no right going though it least of all talking about it online. They did what they are suppose to do. Clear the rubbish and put it in the bin bags for the collection. What on earth made you want to look through inside. Couldn't y just wait until it was taken. This is nonsense. Goes to show landlords are nosy and stupid people sometimes.

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The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 28th April, 2015 @ 15:21

I didn't know what was in the bin. I had to dispose of it because;

1) I didn't know how long the property would be vacant for, so I needed to dispose of the rubbish in case it started smelling and/or attracting rodents.

2) I had to empty the contents of the bin by hand, because as said, the tenants didn't use black bags. There was no other option. I didn't WANT to do it. Did you expect me to do it blind-folded, so I didn't know what was in their rubbish?

3) During vacant periods, landlords are entitled to claim council tax exemption, in which time we don't benefit from certain services e.g. garbage collection.

4) How would you feel as a new tenant, if you arrived at a property that had bins full up of stinking rubbish? Bear in mind, when people move into a house, they particularly need the bins to dispose of boxes/wrapping etc.

5) Tenants are meant to return the property in the condition they found it in. They didn't move into the property with the bins full up. So no, the tenants didn't do what they were suppose to do.

Let me guess... as a landlord you would have left the rubbish in there for potentially weeks/months for the new tenants?

I did the right thing, you're just too unfamiliar/ignorant to realise.

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