The Lost Art Of Being Polite

The lost art of being polite

Just to warn you all, this post has nothing to do with property or being a landlord. This is about me throwing my toys out of the pram due to the lack of manners some people seem to have. While you won’t directly learn how to be a better landlord from this, some of you may learn how to be a better person, which in hand may open up opportunties, so it’s all relative. I just hope my words of wisdom sink into the right people.

When you ask a stranger for help, it’s common decency to smile, be polite, use kind words like “hello”, “please” and “thank you”, and generally lick arse. Right? Apparently not. I keep receiving emails from delusional fuckwits that believe they’re going to capture my attention and my helping-hand by being rude idiots.

Unfortunately, unless I feel your warm tender tongue pressing against my anal-passage, you won’t get a reply, let alone assistance.

I’m not asking for the world, I’m just asking for a little bit of common courtesy. If I contact someone for help, i’ll naturally be nice, not because I have to be, but because I’m human!

Don’t get me wrong, I do get contacted by extremely polite people. But, you know, there’s always those few that ruin it for everyone! In many cases, I don’t know the answers to their questions, but I’ll go out of my way to do a little research and direct them in the right direction. That’s the power of being polite.

Emails I’ve received and ignored due to lack of manners

Example 1

My father is going to let a room but goes to Spain for 3-4 months which would mean she would have the house to herself for this period, your guide states “1 The room you let must be in your main residence, where you live most of the year – if you move out the lodger could become a full tenant by default” could I have a problem with this?

Did you also spot the obvious holes in this email? No “hello”, no “thank you”, no introduction, not even a kind jesture of catching a pint together. The person who sent this can go….fuck…a….tree.

Example 2

i need to buy a really good inventory form for my house which will be rented where can i buy a copy please [full name, address and telephone removed]

As with the first example, this person forgot to use the magic words. But secondly, she didn’t bother looking at the homepage, where there is a link to a FREE inventory form. Instead of dedicating 2mins navigating for her answers, she deemed it appropriate to fire me an email, like I’m fucking Google.

Sure, ask me a query, and i’ll spit back search results for “inventory forms”

I’m sorry to say, I actually don’t operate like Google, you lazy schmuck.

Example 3

I like the Guarantor Agreement you use but in the General Notes it states ‘Practitioners are advised to read the guidance notes that acompany this agreement’ I can’t find these notes, do you have a copy I can have or tell me where I can find them. Someone oneday will ask, we’ve all had them.

Same problems, different rude shit-for-brains. And to answer her question, YES, I do have the notes, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Example 4

Is there a time limit that you can seek payment for damages from a tenants guarantor? What is the latest you can chase them?

I could literally pull out a few hundred emails from my inbox where it’s evident that the art of being polite is dying. It’s pretty sad. I can’t imagine how these monkeys function in day-to-day life, but I imagine they struggle. Even if someone isn’t polite by nature, it’s not rocket science to know that putting on a deceitful act of politeness is required to increase the chances of being assisted. Sadly, these people were even too stupid to do that =[

Moral of the story? Lick my arse, or i’ll fucking ignore you, bitch. Innit.

8 Comments- Join The Conversation...

Guest Avatar
Dan Harrison 28th August, 2009 @ 09:39

I get emails like this all the time. I have a rule on at least one of my sites. If they don't use my first name in the email, I delete it!


The Landlord Avatar
The Landlord 28th August, 2009 @ 10:06

I called you "D" in an email yesterday hah :(

Are cute pet names like that allowed?

Guest Avatar
Dan Harrison 28th August, 2009 @ 10:15

For you, pet names are fine, my little mushroom rapist.


Guest Avatar
sycorax 28th August, 2009 @ 11:13

I hate rude people, the fucking bastards!

Guest Avatar
Petrona 28th August, 2009 @ 15:16

Yep, I know what you mean.... I'm a landlord and I do most of my advertising for tenants on various internet sites. As a result, I get a fair whack of emails enquiring about my properties. If nothing else, it's a great way to weed out the non-contenders. One of my favourites is:

is the unit still available? if so when is the earliest i can move in?

No salutation, no mention of their name, nothing. Yeah well, you can move in WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER.

Guest Avatar
Jools 2nd September, 2009 @ 13:50

Funny thing is THEY get arsy if we the Landlords write back in a stroppy manner! Bastards!!

Guest Avatar
SocialMike 8th September, 2009 @ 11:06

Here's a random one I received in its entirety:

"I have forgotten my USERNAME and PASSWORD"

Guest Avatar
Jools 8th September, 2009 @ 13:35

my reply would have been:

Username: Wanker
Password: Fuckoff

Am I bad?



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