My Mortgage Application Got Refused

Written by The Landlord on 19 Dec 2006

Well, fuck me sideways. We have a problem. A rather large one.

I got a phone call from my Mortgage Broker earlier today and it appears that things aren’t going as smoothly as we had initially anticipated.

Northern Rock is being a bit iffy about offering me with the mortgage policy I had chosen. Apparently they need to take my yearly salary into account. I found that odd, because I’ve always been under the impression that most mortgage lenders don’t take into consideration the borrower’s salary when applying for a “buy to let” mortgage, they usually base it purely on the monthly rent the property will achieve. That’s what I’ve always been told anyways. I’m pretty sure it used to work like that; I’m assuming lenders are starting to tighten up their game.

I’m not entirely sure what the problem is, but apparently, after taking into consideration my salary, Northern Rock have come to the conclusion that I don’t earn quite enough to be considered a suitable candidate for the Mortgage policy I wanted. However, Lee is going to see what he can do. Apparently he knows someone who knows someone or something like that. I guess it’s true, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know…

A point to remember. If a mortgage policy doesn’t go through, the mortgage broker won’t earn their commission, so they’ll always try and bend over backwards for you.

Lee is going to call me back later and let me know what the story is, and if he managed to swindle anything with his charm. For the record, if Lee has to get on his knees and suck a dick to make this happen, then I’m going to support him through this. To clarify, i’m talking about spiritual support. I won’t be there supporting his head while his neck is thrusting back and forth like a chicken. That would be totally inappropriate; I don’t mix business with pleasure.

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