Ranting Landlord
Every man needs to vent now and then; even I, a gracious individual, is no exception from the act of humanity.
This is the where I rant and rave like a madman about property related crap and give updates about the website in general. It’s pretty much a miscellaneous section; filled with all kinds of wonderful treats.
Accepting Rent In The Form Of Sex
26 Jan 2012 / Ranting Landlord / 12 Comments
I did NOT accept rent in the form of sex. I just want to make that clear in case anyone read the title of this blog post and dived into [...]
List Of Frustrations Inflicted By My Tenant While I Was Trying To Get A Tan
14 Dec 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 21 Comments
Holy shit, this has been the longest period of time I’ve gone without publishing a post. It’s almost been a month. What’s my excuse? I’ve been sunning myself in various [...]
The Risks Of Being A Tenant Guarantor
01 Nov 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 12 Comments
Do you know what amuses me? When someone consciously acts as a Tenant Guarantor for their nearest and dearest, and then as soon as they’re required to act upon their [...]
Tenant Left Me With A Drain Blocked With Shit
13 Oct 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 6 Comments
Note to self, don’t forget to thoroughly check all aspects of the plumbing during the final inspection before tenants vacate because you never know what kind of unnecessary greasy crap [...]
Halifax Landlord Insurance Have Irritated Me
27 Sep 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 13 Comments
Just to avoid any confusion, this incident occurred on Friday, 23rd September, but i’m only just getting around to publish it now, 27th September. Anyhow, without any further ado, here [...]
Upad Should Have Come To Me Before They Launched Their New Site
04 Aug 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 18 Comments
I’ve mentioned a few times in the past that Upad were in the midst of overhauling their website with a fresh new design. I was told (by Upad) that it [...]
Hello? Does Anyone Know Energy Performance Certificates (EPCs) Exist Yet?
27 Jul 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 14 Comments
I’ve yet to meet a prospective tenant, let alone an actual tenant, that even knows what an Energy Performance Certificate (EPC) is. They’ve been a legal requirement for landlords in [...]
Tenants That Put Holes In The Wall
26 May 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 114 Comments
This is up there with one of the most irritating and inconvenient habits that, from my experience, most tenants seem to naturally carry, like a virus. I don’t think I’ve [...]
My Tenant Lacks Compassion And Has No Soul
18 May 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 65 Comments
If someone has no soul, is it a given that they lack compassion? If so, I’ve fucked up the semantics of the blog post title. But you get the gist [...]
I Want My Fucking Rent
02 Feb 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 11 Comments
Out of the blue, one of my tenants has taken it upon himself to pay last month’s rent in drips and drabs. He’s usually a good little boy and pays [...]
Rightmove, Get That ‘Twitter Feed’ Shit Off Your Blog Immediately
18 Jan 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 4 Comments
I’m generally a huge fan of Rightmove as a property portal for finding properties. What they have created is brilliant. However, my admiration stops there, especially when it comes to [...]
My Tenant Is Ignoring My Text Messages And Phone Calls
10 Jan 2011 / Ranting Landlord / 13 Comments
My tenant is slowly starting to grind away at my patience. I’m not entirely sure if he enjoys fucking with me, or whether he has a legitimate phobia with responding [...]
5 Ways To Convince Your Tenant To Have Sex With You
08 Dec 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 14 Comments
The other day I assisted a fellow landlord (who is also my personal friend) take viewings for his vacant rental property. He had 3 viewings lined up for Sunday afternoon. [...]
Tenant Wakes Up With Landlord Towering Over Him
24 Nov 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 8 Comments
It’s another one of those scenarios where I shouldn’t laugh because it’s genuinely frightening, but at the same time, I can’t help but laugh because I’m not the victim. That [...]
Why Do I Have To Chase My Tenant For Rent And Listen To His Lame Excuses?
18 Nov 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 8 Comments
Question: Why Do I Have To Chase My Tenant For Rent And Listen To His Lame Excuses? Answer: Because he’s a douche-bag. One of the most frustrating aspects about being [...]
My Tenants Have Split Up From Their Stupid Relationship
12 Nov 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 8 Comments
My tenants have only gone and split up, ain’t they? Why do bad things always happen to me? That’s what I want to F’ing know!!! So, I was meant to [...]
My Tenant Left Me With A Wheelie Bin Full Of Shit And Sex Toys
26 Oct 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 12 Comments
Well, fuck me sideways. My ex tenants’ got me good this time. This incident actually happened a few weeks ago, but I’ve only just had time to tell the tale. [...]
I’m Bored Of Painting Over Bad Taste And Moudly Shit
10 Oct 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 14 Comments
I’m going to have a quick outburst of rage before I leave my house this morning because that’s the kind of mood I’m in. I’m exhausted and overworked, which is [...]
Torn Between Two Tenants – Sweet Old Lady With Huge Tits And Family With Shagable Daughter
29 Sep 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 8 Comments
Guys, I’m in a right cock-shaped pickle. This week I’ve taken several viewings for my soon-to-be vacant property, and I’ve managed to strategically narrow the applicants down to a shortlist [...]
Ajay Ahuja Has Been Successfully Sued
22 Sep 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 11 Comments
Yes, my bald-headed mate Ajay Ahuja is in the spotlight yet again. Since Ajay and I ended on bad terms (because he went nuts on me), I was only more [...]
My Friend’s Landlord Is A Rude Bitch And Her Tenancy Agreement Is Junk
08 Sep 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 8 Comments
One of my best mate’s is a tenant with a live-in landlord. She’s a tenant, not a lodger. I frequently pop over to her gaff just to chill-out and catch [...]
Is My Landlord Entitled To Go Through My Underwear Drawer?
19 Aug 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 23 Comments
Earlier today I was reading a very serious blog post by Renter Girl. She discussed a few of the distressed phrases tenants had typed into a search engine to land [...]
Funny Shit Friday – DSS Tenant Demands Apology, But Walks Away With I.T Advice
06 Aug 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 8 Comments
Welcome to the 2nd episode of “Funny Shit Friday”. I genuinely didn’t think this would go further than the pilot episode, but it turns out there’s still life left in [...]
Funny Shit Friday – Houseshare Opportunity For A Sterile Hobbit That Isn’t Adverse To Crime
30 Jul 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 1 Comment
I’ve decided to start a new weekly (or perhaps bi-weekly) phenomenon called “Funny Shit Friday” It’s all pretty self-explanatory. I’ll essentially post shit I consider to be funny on a [...]
My Tenant Is A Lazy, Worthless, Greasy Kebab
08 Jul 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 14 Comments
Ok, so remember the other day when I was talking about how my tenant was vacating, and how it was difficult for me to take viewings because of his shit-crazy [...]
My Tenant’s Disgusting Taste In Furniture Has Ruined My Life
24 Jun 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 12 Comments
Right, so the other day I took a viewing, right? I already discussed how I refused a DSS tenant that was my friend. Ok, well that was only one half [...]
Interview With The Angry HIP Consultant
10 Jun 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 20 Comments
For those of you unaware, a few weeks ago, the newly formed Coalition Government scrapped the Home Information Packs (HIPs). Unsurprisingly, most people were more than pleased to see the [...]
My Tenant Gave Me Notice While I Was On Holiday
07 Jun 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 7 Comments
For those of you who don’t know, I’ve been in Vegas for the past 2 weeks; soaking in the sun, drinking extortionately priced cocktails and ogling at beautifully slutty women. [...]
Is This Online Letting Agent Advert Distasteful?
31 May 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 4 Comments
A few weeks ago my radar picked up a Tweet from @ffields regarding the marketing methods of a new Online Letting Agent, PropertyMatch.com. The Tweeter muttered the following: @ffields Distasteful [...]
My Tenant Wants Me To Pay £300 For A New Curtain. She Must Be On Crack
18 May 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 17 Comments
Yesterday, I facetiously mentioned on Twitter about how one of my tenants’ wants me to pay a ludicrous £300 for ONE poxy curtain. Since I have a spare 20mins right [...]
This Country Would Be Awesome For Landlords If I Was In Control
12 May 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 5 Comments
I’m not big on politics, for many reasons, but mainly because it’s bullshit. I heard some snotty chump on the news the other day saying that he thought democracy was [...]
Ajay Ahuja Has Threatened To Take Legal Action Against Me
04 May 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 11 Comments
Oh shit, here we go again. I have another potential legal battle on my hands. Brief Bio on Ajay Ahuja Ajay Ahuja is known in the BTL industry by many [...]
Ajay Ahuja Gets Investigated By Undercover Sky News Journalists
30 Apr 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 3 Comments
Oh dear, it seems Ajay Ahuja has been investigated again, but this time by a pair of cheeky undercover journalists from Sky News. The report was aired yesterday evening, but [...]
Guys, Want To Live With A Creepy Homosexual In A Trendy Part Of London, Rent Free?
14 Apr 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 6 Comments
Earlier today I was pointed in the direction of an extremely creepy ad listing on Gumtree. Here it is: Do you fit the description? Are you male, aged between 18 [...]
Do You Have A Useful Service To Offer Landlords? Advertise it for FREE
01 Feb 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 4 Comments
Some of you may have noticed a new sponsor advert on the right hand sidebar, “Your local Landlord Directory”, while the rest of you probably didn’t care enough to notice. [...]
Same Libel Threat, Different Person Threatening Me
12 Jan 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 27 Comments
Urgh, it’s happening again! This is the 4th incident where I’ve been told to remove content from my site because it’s supposedly libellous. It’s like Groundhog day, because the threats [...]
Landlord Junk I Want To Achieve In 2010
04 Jan 2010 / Ranting Landlord / 19 Comments
Happy New Year, folks! I hope you all had a great transition. So, it’s a New Year and people are beginning their journeys to fulfil their resolutions. Great! I never [...]
Are You Going To Bother Sending Your Tenant A Christmas Card?
17 Dec 2009 / Ranting Landlord / 10 Comments
Urgh, great, it’s Christmas again, ALREADY. Ho, ho, ho. Ok, I’m not a Scrooge; I’m just at that awkward stage in my life where Christmas seems pointless. I’ve always believed [...]
Interview With Ajay Ahuja
10 Nov 2009 / Ranting Landlord / 162 Comments
It was only last week that Ajay Ahuja appeared on “Inside Out” for allegedly being a dirty little scam artist. Since then his name has been running riot on the [...]
Ajay Ahuja On Inside Out, London- Property Scam
04 Nov 2009 / Ranting Landlord / 47 Comments
Anyone watch “Inside Out, London” On BBC, Monday (2nd November, 2009)? It was rather interesting. The first half of the show was an investigation about a property dealer offering bargains [...]
I initially started this website because I wanted to document my every step from property idiot to property landlord,
in hope that people would find my site and help me along the way. I literally didn't have a clue about being a landlord
when I started this website.