Another day, another bitter email from a dribbling Neanderthal that ruled out the “thinking” process before making contact.
I found the following email piled up in my inbox last week, or perhaps it was the week before. Either way, destiny intended for the nonsensical piece of shit to find me. Enjoy.
To whoever it may concern.
I have just read your ‘Tips for taking on DSS tenants’ and I am fuming!
Me and my husband claim DSS as he has just lost his job and as he is in trade he is finding it hard to find another!
We have 2 small children so I can’t go to work as we can’t afford childcare, but when there both in school I will go back to work!
My husband has been a joiner for 17 year so this is a massive blow for him and his pride!
I am disgraced that you have said all DSS tenants are irresponsible and we all take the piss!
Well I have news for you, some people don’t want to claim DSS but we have to to keep a roof over our childrens heads!
People like you need to be knocked down a couple of notches and find out just how hard it is for us to live day to day!
I agree with you on 1 thing though you are just a ‘simple landlord!’
Why is this psycho “fuming”?
Even though I just answered my own question, I’m still compelled to ask some vital questions that may help me understand the situation a little better. I don’t like things I don’t understand, and to say I don’t understand the reasoning behind Katie’s email is an understatement of epic proportions.
After I pissed my pants and recovered from the initial giggling fit the email generated, I asked myself, “What did I actually say in the ‘Tips for taking on DSS tenants’ blog post that was so offensive to DSS tenants?” – because I didn’t have a clue, but I was certain I never said any of the things she claimed.
I’ve written hundreds of brilliant blog posts over the years, so I can’t remember the exact content of them all from memory. But if the post title was any reflection of the content (it usually is, go figure), then there was my reason to be unsure of Katie’s irrational sentiments. If anything, that was one of my more positive blog posts about DSS tenants. She would haver probably had a nosebleed and passed out if she got her grubby little mitts onto my FACT: Landlords Refusing DSS Tenants Is Well Justified blog post. I’m inclined to believe that she was already at the brink of self-destruction, consequently needed someone innocent and beautiful to relieve her frustration over in the form of bullshit. But I wanted to make sure.
I quickly navigated to the blog post in question, Tips for taking on DSS tenants, and read over what I had written. If you can’t muster up the energy to read the post (don’t worry, I probably wouldn’t care enough if I were you), here is a summary…
Summery of the catalyst
Source: Tips for taking on DSS tenants
I mention how I don’t have a problem with DSS tenants, but I do have a problem with how the Government have designed a system which makes life difficult for any landlord that takes on DSS tenants. No, it’s not the DSS tenants (for the most part), it’s the system that isn’t functioning! And, in order for any landlord that is considering taking on DSS Tenants to stand the best chance against the system, they should be aware of a few elements.
Then I proceed to provide several tips to help landlords with DSS tenants. Some of the tips include, finding out the tenants rental history, ‘how’ and ‘if’ the DSS tenant can realistically pay the rent, and also for landlords to request their housing benefit to get paid directly to the landlord (it often goes to the tenant, who is then expected to pay the landlord).
I end the blog post by saying this,
DSS tenants are ultimately like any other tenants, they both come in all shapes and sizes, and there’s a few rotten apples amongst all. However, there are just a few extra aspects landlords should know when taking on a DSS tenant. Don’t get me wrong, taking on DSS tenants can be extremely fruitful; I know a lot of landlords have no problems with taking on DSS tenants.
I will say one thing though, if the Government tightens up their system by offering landlords a better service, they’d be a hell of a lot more people willing to accept DSS tenants.
So, the question has to be asked, why is this semi-evolved, shit-throwing chimp “fuming”? I said DSS tenants are as worthy as any other tenant. I don’t think there was any negative light thrown onto tenants receiving benefits.
“I am disgraced that you have said all DSS tenants are irresponsible and we all take the piss!”
While this fruitcake was sitting there disgraced and hyperventilating like a moron over something I never said, I was sitting there, equally like a moron, scratching my arse in a state of confusion.
I’ve NEVER said what she suggested (read the blog post if you don’t believe me), but Katie still managed to make me question my own beliefs. I know for a fact I would NEVER have said anything like she implied because I 100% don’t think all DSS tenants are the same, yet she wrote her email with such conviction that it lead me to reread my blog post 4 times over just to make sure there was no truth in her words.
After repeatedly soaking myself in my blog post, it was obvious she didn’t read what was written in front of her, and her imagination went into autopilot and decided to waste my time and abuse the amount of memory my inbox is limited to. Science can learn a lot from someone that stupid. On that basis, I’m “fuming” – the tables have turned. I should be the one sending her hate mail
smeared with feces.
“People like you need to be knocked down a couple of notches and find out just how hard it is for us to live day to day!”
I’m sure Katie is right, but what in God’s name would that prove/resolve (even if I did say all DSS tenants are scum bags)? I’m not denying the difficulty of anyone’s life, and I never have. In fact, I can very well imagine – given Katie’s proven intelligence – that her day-to-day life is a bloody nightmare. I imagine simple tasks like ciphering the difference between her strap-on and her husband’s penis is like a Krypton Factor challenge (I actually have no idea why I said that. I think I need sleep).
Point is though, wanting my life to get tougher so I can relate to her life has nothing to do with anything.
I’m so bored of DSS tenants lunging at me because they didn’t bother properly reading what I wrote. Katie isn’t the first, and she won’t be the last. I’m bored of their premature statements like, “You should try living my life”- WHY should I? What is that going to change? Am I going to suddenly not-write what I already haven’t written, which you think I’ve written?
Some people, Katie for example, actually make it transparent to understand why some people receive benefits. I’m sorry, but when someone demonstrates how irrational and incompetent they are, they’re automatically showing me why they’re in the situation they’re in.
I genuinely don’t have the patience for people like Katie. If someone doesn’t agree with my opinion, they’re probably wrong, but that’s no justification for senselessly conjuring up scenarios because they’re too angry/lazy/stupid/ignorant to understand what’s written in front of them, and then argue over phantom “she said’s” and “he said’s”
Although Katie’s email contained zero credibility when it came to her “facts”, her apparent struggle was heart-warming and it’s something I never want to personally experience. That’s exactly why I’ve set up a charity, which I’ve named, “The united fight against being a benefit claimant.” All proceedings will support my lifestyle and ensure I never become a benefit claimant.
Please dig deep and donate generously to this worthy cause (the button actually works). Anyone that donates £2 or more will get an honourable shout out in this blog post. Anyone that donates £40 or more will receive a backlink in this post!
Right, I’m done. I’m off to go DSS bashing- that’s when I launch heavy, thick wads of £50 notes at DSS tenants until they’re knocked unconscious.
The Simple Landlord.