Always Get Quotes- Otherwise The Skidmark Of Humanity Will Fuck You
Written by The Landlord on 26 Nov 2008
My heart always beats a little quicker when a tenant calls because silence is only broken when there’s a plate of shit to be served. I’m still waiting for the day when one of them calls impatiently to inform me that they fancy paying 3 months rent up front. In the mean time, i’ll keep checking my lotto ticket, hoping that I’m short-sighted or have eye-crust impairing my vision.
RING, RING…*[insert tenant name] calling*…
As I prepare myself to embrace the whimper and uttering of bad news, I softly greet my tenant. I sound polite, but slightly under the surface I’m anticipating a blow. It’s quick and painful, there’s no fucking around: She says…
The oven’s broke, I think the elements gone
I instantly feel my pockets getting lighter, and my winter getting colder. I don’t blame my tenant, I don’t blame anyone, I’m just not too keen on the hassle of rectification. It’s not the money, it’s the level of effort which I’ll have to exert on something, which frankly, felt so insignificant in my life- an instrument to heat slaughtered animals. Not my slaughtered animals, someone else’s.
I assure my tenant I’ll get the issue resolved quickly as humanly possible. I’m actually quite good like that, if something needs fixing, I won’t leave my tenants waiting.
I shuffle through a pile of my unorganised business cards- I’m sure I have an oven and appliance vendor in there somewhere! BINGO…”Solo Appliances”. I call for a quote,
Hey guy, I have a Neff oven which needs a new element. How much green are we talking?
That will cost £93, which includes labour and VAT
I was waiting for the guy to break into a chuckle and confess to playing a mean joke on me. As the silence got longer, I realised this was no joke, and the guy actually was a shameless shit-for-brains ripoff merchant. I then got flash backs from a previous week, when i saw new Ovens for sale in Currys for £120. Something didn’t quite add up. I told the guy I’d call him back to let him know what I decide to do. Of course, I already knew that he’d be lucky if he ever got to hear my angelic voice again, unless it was to inform him of how ridiculously overpriced he is.
Unsatisfied with the quote, I jumped onto Google and did my own research. It turns out that the average Neff element costs £20 from the Element man. Consequently, the guy from Solo wanted at least £70 for labour; to fit a basic element, which I’m sure takes a few minutes to install and requires minimal skill.
While I was already on the Google train, I decided to search for alternative local oven men. I found a company called ACS Appliances, and decided to try the hustle on them. They quoted me £40. Less than half price than my initial quote. That was a done deal.
The engineer was sent ’round to do his thing. After the operation I was expecting a call from my tenant to confirm the process went smoothly. Unfortunately, I’m me, and when you’re me, nothing runs like clockwork. I received the call OK, but it carried the weight of more bad news. Not only had the element passed it’s expire date, but so had another vital organ, which was imperative to the heating process. To cut a long story short, I needed a new oven.
The oven guy didn’t replace the element, but he did charge a £7.50 call out charge, which I thought was marginally fair.
That same day, straight after work, on the way home from work I popped into Currys to purchase a basic stainless steel oven, which set me back £160. There were cheaper models, but they looked ridiculously bad. So bad that I wouldn’t even want my worst enemy to home one of those monstrosities. As I went to pay at the checkout, I was hit with the usual formalities; a greasy pimple faced rat tried to sell me his cheese, insurance. The rat squeaked,
£20 for 3 years cover- if anything goes wrong with the product we’ll come out and fix it with in 2 days, otherwise we’ll replace it.
I’m not usually one to listen to those ridiculous offers because they’re usually all commission based pitches. However, because it was a mere £20 and the oven was for a tenant, I thought what the heck! The insurance policy could end up saving me money in the future!
The next job in this antagonising saga was to get an electrician to install the darned thing. I called our usual electrician (the guy my family has used for years), I asked him for a quote to install a oven. Without hesitation, he pulled out the figure of £90 from somewhere. I’m not sure where he dislodged that figure from, but I could take a wild guess. It felt like groundhog day. Is everyone a moron that’s trying to rip people off? How can it cost £90 to simply unplug an exiting Oven and replace it with a new Oven? Granted, I’m no Oven guru, but I wasn’t born yesterday either. Surely it’s a case of ‘plug-out, plug-in’…there’s a banana, go do it, monkey!
I decided to try the guy from ACs Appliances, the same chap that went to initially fit the element. He quoted me £25. That sounded much more realistic. Done deal.
It took approximately 4 days to get everything resolved. The whole incident just reminded me how important it is to shop around, and not just stick with the cowboys that come easily and/or first. If I didn’t shop around I would have had to pay more than double the amount I did.
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2 Comments - join the conversation...
I would say the element you bought was a pattern part and probably wont last more than a year. did you get a guarantee? i doubt it
I wonder how much you charge for your services (£20.00 an hour ?)
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